We are advised to not reply to potential scams, but in fact, we should all reply as much as possible (without giving any personal data or clicking links, of course), so the scammer will waste too much time finding a potential victim.
What if a time traveler went back in time, then came to our present to realize that he messed up the present and we're in the messed up present?
With all the letters people open, I wonder how many peoples decayed spit we come in contact with.
If permanent modifications you made to your body became genetic and were passed on to your kids, who would be the worst parents and how screwed up would their kids be?
You don't realize how dirty of a word compass is until you sound it out for a toddler.
The few people who monitor Reddit submissions by New are under-appreciated.
We are stuck in a loop using air conditioners to keep us cool, which in turn contribute to making the planet hotter, which then causes us put on more air conditioning.
Does anyone use the other buttons?
I would say she's hot but I have no idea how old she is.
Whenever you read a shower though you always think you could have come up with that shower thought
The term “stand-alone” has a hyphen, so neither word actually does.
I wish my current self could go back in time to a teen version of me to give a slap on the head and tell myself to stop being dumb and naive.
What if you had the ben 10 watch and your crush touched it. Couldnt you technically turn into your crush and see yourself nude?
In stranger things Eleven gets telekinetic powers because of the LSD they give her mom while shes in the womb. So giving El LSD should make her super powerful.
Instead of speed limit signs in neighborhoods we should set up egg catapults where every time someone drives obnoxiously, their windshield gets hit with an egg.
We can turn vibrations into beautiful music/singing, then capture those vibrations, turn it into digital code, send them anywhere in the world, and then recreate the exact sound again. I intimately know the voices of people i have/will never meet.
What if making the noise ‘beep’ is actually the worst word in existence and the universe is censoring it out.
In stranger things Eleven has telekenetic powers because of the lsd they gave her mom while she was in the womb. So wouldn't giving El lsd make her super powerful?
What if the key to a long life is constantly working, but since we as humans want to retire, we die sooner?
It might be better if a bad actor was hired to play Trump in a future biopic, rather then having a good actor play a bad one.
I wonder if there are people who watch Always Sunny and find themselves sometimes agreeing with the characters’ logic.
When bald people wash their faces, how high up do they go?
Nothing says being bored on reddit more than visiting your city’s subreddit.
I don’t know that I’ve fallen asleep until I wake up.
I have lost every guitar pick I've ever owned
You ever wonder who the most attractive person to ever upvote you is?
Volcanoes are kinda like Earth pimples
It’s 2018, how are canker sores still a thing?
My reluctance to admit how hurt I got is directly proportional to how much goofing off I was doing when getting hurt.
If lightning hits the Empire State Building, the Empire Strikes Back.
Traditional theaters should expand out and offer veiwing experinces for sports or esports events.
I really wish shoe companies could runoff shoes I had 20 years ago
In two years we will no longer call music from the 1920s 20s music we will call 2020 music 20s music
Do people that buy cop car models in cop car colors ever wonder why people in front of them drive slower?
If humans laid eggs, would we eat them?
Head and Shoulders shoukd release a body wash called Knees and Toes
A lot of people would better understand climate change if they knew the difference between the weather and climate.
“It” used to be an offensive term to call someone who looked like a male or female but now “it” is an actual option that people prefer for their pronoun.
I feel like rich people are mostly charitable because it will help them commute their sentence when they get caught for doing all the illegal shit that helped make them rich
Remember when we were kids and Trix cereal was shaped like flowers but now they're just spheres? Is that because Trix are only for kids?
Glass bottle companies should make cup shape forms so that we could reuse these “cups.”
Wouldn't it be great if Facebook automatically sets a Vaguebook post to private if OP says "I don't want to talk about it".
If tomatoes are fruit, are peppers also fruit?
If the Reddit community suddenly started to leave comments on Youtube videos as much as they leave comments on Reddit posts, the youtube comment section would be a much better place.
If you showed someone from the 1950's r/WhitePeopleTwitter and r/BlackPeopleTwitter they probably would understand it as segregation
Someday one of those people who starts arguments on games like Roblox and MineCraft could be in a political position of power.
Who will narrate David Attenborough’s documentary?
Whenever I see a popular shower thought, I always think, "aww shucks, that was on the tip of my tongue...maybe next time!"
Everyone always talks about aliens in outer space. What if human are the aliens
I spilt coffee on my keyboard, now it squeaks and smells like coffee.
If a finger wag side to side means no, why can’t nodding your finger up and down mean yes?
I have finally realIzed that after years of watching SpongeBob that Patrick is so clueless of everything because he “lives under a rock”
What does water taste like?
What would happen if Mr. Deadpool/Wolverine take circumcision?
Being ok with your president having extramarital affairs and paying the women off with cash is an extremely liberal attitude, when you think about it.
Being ok with your president having extramarital affairs and paying the women off with cash is an extremely liberal attitude to hold.
How did people fix their iPhones when they got wet before rice existed?
The first woman to give birth to twins most have been like "??????"
It should be new.reddit.com, while the "old reddit" stays the same
Y'know how cheese is supposedly addictive? I wonder if that's why Hollywood movies are so popular
If all of us are special, doesn't that mean that none of us are?
At this point a Twitter war could turn into an actual war
My dog is remarkably picky about where he poops for a creature that literally poops in public.
I wonder if trap music was created by some dude sitting outside listening to his lawn sprinkler and thinking “that’s hit goes hard af”
Due to the rise of obesity in the U.S. and other countries fire marshals will probably have to reduce the maximum occupancy at most establishments.
Everything is so disposable these days that we are even looking to colonize other planets instead of fixing the mess we made here on Earth.
Why do all the trees in orchards lean the same direction at the same angle?
People who browse "new" on reddit are the real heroes. Everything getting popular depends on them.
Walking by someone you know twice is awkward as fuck. Do I say high again or just avoid by acting busy with something else.
Has anyone ever pooped without peeing during or beforehand?
Outdated memes should becalled Memeries
It would suck to always be making clever jokes around blind people because they'd never see what I did there.
We love to hate reposts, but I've unintentionally memorized many pocket jokes from seeing them so many times.
What if the Space Force was started because someone told Donald that his star keeps getting destroyed.
"I'm speechless" is always a lie.
Everyone will have the same last name in the exetremely distant future
Donald Trump getting his own presidential library when he leaves office even though he doesnt like to even read his daily 2 page national security reports is a heck of a thing
What if fish get upset when they swim past a pretty shell they like knowing they can’t pick it up and take it with them
Alarm clocks should come with a function to auto detect/synchronize Hollidays and day-offs so you won’t wake at 6am in a day you where supposed to be able to sleep more
The older I get the more my parents remind me of myself when I was young.
Despite almost never needing it, I always have my dick with me.
My little brother (born in 2001) keeps asking me why so much music was released in 2009 and I just realized its because thats the year VEVO started uploading videos.
Dogs are living proof that "nature" is a real thing.
There are millions of living things inside you right now.
The bumper sticker 'the closer you get the slower I go' is a self fulfilling prophecy
I have a retainer, but if I’m holding it, I’m also it’s retainer.
Fuck it, its 95, I'm going to air dry.
I always wonder if someone has been to a rodeo when I here them say “this isn’t my first rodeo” to describe familiarity with something
Video game characters get tons more exercise than I ever will.
The time on my coffee maker is just the anniversary time of the last time that I lost power in my house.
Ever realize that one day most of your favorite youtubers will die and you will begin to see them upload less and less as thet get older but on the plus side i can hopefully live to see ricegum's youtubr channel die
Am I the only one who thinks about the Sword and the Stone everytime they see squirrels running thru the trees...
How awesome would a movie be where Danny DeVito and Betty White are spies and play every role?
If you were Tony Stark, why would you even bother to drive a car to get anywhere ?
I want someone to be the most important person in my life, cause I don't feel important
The last time I had the TV volume at a number that isn’t divisible by 5 was back before TVs were digital.
If I think about songs that are 30 years old, I think about songs from the 70's and 80's. In 3 years Under The Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers will be 30 years old, and it was released in '91.
They should have a ‘Window Up’ button on car remotes for when it starts raining
If robots can type in a username and password... why can't they click the "I'm not a robot" box?
Hogwarts is a terrible name for a school of magic - is there a competitor school called Rampimples
10 years ago I never thought I'd be visiting the same website to get recipes, fitness tips, news, and porno. But here I am.
I Just Realized that Buy One Get One Free, Two for the Price of One, and a Half-Off sale on and item are all the same thing but reworded
I wonder if there is an increase in crime rates involving a gun on the 4th of July simply because people passing off the gun fire as fireworks.
Are kiwis tangy?
Why are tissues and tissue paper two different things
Is pancake a cake made in a pan or cake is a pancake made in the oven?
Saying something stupid to someone and getting replied with "Sorry I didn't hear you, what did you say?" is the real life equivalent of "are you sure you want to continue?" pop ups
Does anyone els shampoo their nut bag?
Sherlock never said “elementary,my dear Watson” in the original books
If England gets a king does the national anthem change?
I just realized that video game characters get tons more exercise that I ever will.
My dog will sit patiently and watch me eating food, hoping I give her a bit. She doesn't realise that if she really wanted, she could have it, and I'd be pretty powerless to stop her.
What if water has a taste but we cant taste it because we are so used to it?
Reddit usernames with common names such as Jack, John, Jill etc. must be over 12 years old
What if our teeth never stopped growing
Since the advent of smart phones, the average poop time has probably gone up significantly
A Mitch Hedburg like thought popped into my head: vibrators don’t break. They become dildos.
If I always brushed my teeth as thoroughly as I do on the morning I go to the dentist, I wouldn’t need to visit the dentist.
Collectively, we decided to set foot on another celestial body. Then decided, eh, who cares about that?
Every mirror is sold used. I just realised this
Once A.I. actually gets here, clicking the the “I am not a robot” button on a website will be about as effective as keeping a 12 year old from clicking the “I am 18 years of age or older” button.
If Chris-chan never used the internet, would he be a better person today?
As many times as I’ve used my smartphone, I’ve never once seen or used it in a dream
I guess you could say Anthony Bourdain truly wanted to experience parts unknown when he killed himself
The only Kombucha I knew were mushroom people until I became an adult.
What if we as humans don’t have “imaginations” but instead we are psychic and we just don’t know it yet? We could just be looking into the future across the Universe and writing what we see, as opposed to actually creating stories and ideas.
Everybody likes to poke fun about the loud “ugly” Americans. In my experience, nobody has less regard for personal space and an appropriate level of indoor speaking volume than European tourists.
If you were immortal and got sentenced to life in prison, what would happen..?
I wonder if I feel like I'm in my head because my brain is there or because 4 of my senses are.
Why we're designers so cruel to make the vibration for you phone to sound like a fly buzzing by your head.
If men subtly give obvious hints to show girls they like them while trying not to be too obvious so the girl doesn’t realize he is doing it on purpose, do girls show they like him back by subtly flirting back while trying not to let the men think they are doing it on purpose to give a natural feel?
In the fairly odd parents, Timmy should have just wished for security cameras so Vicky would have gotten caught. Thus ending his suffering with Vicky but still being tortured by Croker so he could keep them
I wonder how many times someone has unintentionally taken a photo of me.
Eventually in the very distant future, everyone will have the same last name.
Firefighters are allowed to say “I’m doing well” and “I’m doing good” interchangeably without fear of repercussion from grammar nazis.
What if my two grandads were secretly gay for each and wanted a child together so bad that they each impregnated women so that they could have a kid together by getting their kids to fall in love... and bonk.
Have u ever wondered what happens to a fortnite game after it’s done?
When Michael from Vsauce says, “Hey Vsauce Micheal here” , we should be able to respond with, “Hey Micheal, Vsauce here”.
Saying "I've never lied before in my life" can't possibly be your first lie ever.
I always imagined that it was Number Two typing on the computer in the opening of every Codename Kid's Next door episode, but it was never actually stated in the show that it was him doing it.
Of all the flash mobs I’ve ever seen, I’ve never see anyone flash
One of the worst feelings in the world is redownloading Tinder
Mandatory before every hide and seek game?
The less people I know- the less funerals i'll need to go to
If life gave me lemons, did it have the decency to give me sugar and water?
Sometimes my left hand is more dominant than the right.
Before smart phones, what did people even look at when they felt awkward in social situations?
Could god create something so heavy that even he couldn't lift up?
There are moms out there with tramp stamps who will someday have to explain to their kids what it means
It’s truly a travesty that the word palindrome isn’t a palindrome
Someone who uses “I” incorrectly instead of “me” is worse because it also makes them seem pretentious.
Is it still a Fork if it only has three prongs?
What if every time we make a video game, that game becomes an actual, real universe, making us all Gods in another dimension (and most likely mass murderers)?
What if religion’s concern over developing sentient life is an attempt by whoever created us from us having to go through the pain of questioning our own sentience?
If animals become extinct, humans will replace spirit animals with spirit Asians (based on population); my spirit Asian is Jimmy O. Yang
If I spent half as much time practicing the drums as I do using my steering wheel as one I would be halfway decent
How many years have to go by until we can stop playing Katy Perry at firework shows across the nation?
The Wicked Witch of the West must have been one smelly lady given she could never bathe or shower.
I am tired from being good to asshole people that could be useful to me in the future.
Instagram should have an Incognito or Private Mode where you can view things but not be able to like them accidentally.
We spent the Fourth of July blowing up fireworks while vets like me get drunk in the bathtub. It sucks.
If sitting is worst than smoking, by law, shouldn’t we have no sitting zones?
We should be glad that expired foods tastes bad and not good
Are scars just tattoos you didn't choose to get?
It still blows my mind when I play a 3d video game and think how only pixels are changing color.
Everyone is a nudist in the shower.
I wonder if the cardboard recycling factory handles the boxes labeled "fragile" with extra care
We should all thank our Dad’s for not settling for a blow job
The only thing I'm going to remember about the World Cup this year is all the flopping
What if blind people simply have the ability to see air?
What if people who lucid dream are just dreaming that they can control their dreams
How hard would it be to get the entire world population in one place?
I wonder if flat Earth people think everything in the universe is flat or that Earth is for some reason special. Flat moon? Sun?
Nobody trusts my ability to push the button at crosswalks.
Yesterday everyone shared the meme "Fireworks or Gunshots"...In my neighborhood, the 4th is the only day I don't have to play this game.
Look at what you have created, a monster within me. DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU ALL!!!
I'd actually like to help fill Wikipedia articles but I got all my knowledge from Wikipedia in the first place.
If you sit on your own voodoo doll, will you ever be able to stand up?
If there are infinite universes, then wouldn’t there be one that blows up our universe?
When I was little, I used to think that cauliflowers are "white broccoli"
A bot on /r/totallynotrobots is a bot pretending to be a human pretending to be a bot pretending to be a human
Jesus walks on water, I can walk on watermelons which is 95% water. So I am 95% Jesus
What came first?
I can remember 8-9 different passwords for different services but can only remember 1-2 phone numbers
My mind is gone
What if blood taste like Arizona tea to vampires and that’s why they like it so much
If “No Homo” is a thing, shouldn’t “No Hetero” be a thing too?
Poop and wine have many similarities, the longer they age, the stronger and smoother they become.
Why do people make tiny food and who are they trying to feed.
Food spoils in heat, so old people should retire to colder states instead of the hottest to extend their expiration dates.
My dog likes car rides much more than I do
Reddit karma should be called "Creddit".
Where did I put my shampoo?
If you are king of the losers are you really a loser?
I just realized that there is no word to give someone water like there is to give someone food (feed).
Do people who seem like they wouldn't hurt a fly actually not hurt flies?
What if idle people have figured out what life is really about & the 'hardworking' people are the ones who're delusional?
It's weird that we call it a PAIR of underwear and A bra, when bras have two cups and underwear is just one piece of cloth.
The fact that Captain Hook’s last name is Hook, and he also had to have his hand replaced with hook is very a big coincidence
People who search by New are the hipsters of Reddit.
Why would you open a can of worms in the first place?
The movie Taxi Driver could have a modern remake called 'Nice Guy'
Theres a subtle B in the word subtle.
The scariest part of growing up has been realizing that most adults are as clueless as I am.
What if bones are just permanent erections with white blood cells?
State funded institutions of learning have all the same problems including predatory rape cultures as state funded correctional institutions.
Doing chores when we were young was everyone’s first unpaid / paid internship. It’s supposed to help us gain experience for later on in our life.
Why does wind blow out a candle?
Sometimes I feel like a Grass type with only Fire type moves
If you drink two 5 hour energies do you get 10 hours of energy or 5 hours of double energy?
Power Rangers makes more sense than I thought
Things spoil quicker when not refrigerated, so old people should retire to cold states instead of the hottest, to extend their expiration dates.
When Snoop Dogg dies do you think they'll cremate him like a giant blunt?
It's actually quite easy to bypass the bot that checks for "shôwër øbservations" by typing accented letters, such as in shåmpöö and cóndītìõnêr
If someone says “I shouldn’t overstay my welcome” it means they weren’t “welcome” in the first place.
The fact we can breathe automatically is very underrated.
Could Spiderman sue Peter Parker for copyright infringement to launder money?
In my life I will inhale or exhale more or the same amount and never know
It would be a real wake-up call for many of us if everyday we were able to see the insurance Actuarial tables indicating when they expect us to die and all our daily decisions make that date come sooner or later
What if we donhave save points
We should be thankful that most of our internal organs don't get itchy.
Why everytime you joke,everyone thinks you are a guy?
Since we can't see air, do you think fish can see water?
The rate at which my toddler puts her shoes on backwards cannot be explained by randomness
Being a weather forecaster must be awesome; its the only job that you can continuously be wrong and screw up and not get fired.
Before the Big Bang/After the death: neither can be processed by the human mind, so what if it's the same thing
If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
Aw fuck...I can't believe you've done this!
I swear, TV stations conspire to air commercials at the same time to discourage people from channel surfing during commercial breaks.
If it was intelligent design, then I wouldn't need an additional tool to wash my back.
I wonder if people who have ever been in a coma ever get offended when someone says they have a “food coma”.
It should be faction and non-faction not fiction and non-fiction
When you say "I'm an idiot" to your echo, the echo for "Ha ha, tricked you!" is almost like the echo manipulated you into calling yourself an idiot by repeating everything you say...
Snap out of it (AM) sounds like low-key nice guy texts
If you’re a human being when you’re alive are you a human been when you die?
Future vehicles should have an additional horn that apologizes for cutting off other drivers.
Somewhere out there, there is an Indian man who actually got bobs and vegana from a woman on facebook
If you own a horse, is it a pet or a vehicle?
While in a retirement home, I noticed the music is old-timely and meant to make the residents feel nostalgic and happy. Will the retirement homes of the future play Justin Beiber, Katy Perry, and Drake songs???
Jesus Christ has already been back to Earth and left again. Sadly the world never realized his name was Fred Rogers.
When America gives subsidies to Hamburg, Germany... they effectively become "Hamburger Helpers"
If nocturnal bugs are so attracted to the light, why dont they juat come out during the day?
When a 2D person observe a donut it would look like two circles flying in unison. If we see two spheres moving in unison will it be a 4D donut?
America's Funniest Home Videos is the OG Failblog
I haven't heard the phrase, "hidden talent" since I was a kid, which was just before the internet.
What did dinosaurs taste like?
If you have sex at the top of Burj Khalifa is that considered being part of the mile high club?
Do you ever think what your MySpace song would be?
The word “long” is shorter than the word “short”
Rollercoasters are like rebellious teenage-aged Trains: "Fuck you dad, I'm going to go crazy fast and have a loop-de-loop and curves and you can't stop me"