Imagine if we would be so resistent to heat that we could touch and eat stuff fresh out of the owen.
Mods are asleep, upvote literal shower thought
If a microphone makes your voice louder, why is it not called a macrophone?
Volcanos are just earth pimples
Isn’t weird that the moon doesn’t spin
Instead of tax refunds, the IRS should stop overcharging us every year.
most shower thoughts a had while taking a shit.
How is it a mom that doesn't make there child there world but yet the dad that the kid is there world get the short end of the straw?
It’s called a pair of pants but you never wear just one pant
In like 100 years the political parties will use AI to predict who will eventually run for president and gather dirt on them from childhood
Ever wonder where the water from your shower comes from?
I wish theme park attractions ratings are done in terms of waiting-time.
Everytime we send something to space we are making the Earth a bit less heavier.
I need to buy more shampoo.
LPT (life pro tips) is a one-word swap away from being a forum about how to discourage abortion (PLT - pro life tips)
“Nothing rhymes with orange” is not true. Just because borange is not a word doesn’t mean it can’t rhyme with orange.
For hundreds of years “go to hell” was the worst thing you could say to someone in most of the world.
Donald Trump probably thinks the “Trump Card” was named after him.
All the best skipping stones are at the bottom of the river.
If life is unfair to everyone, does it make life fair?
What if ugly/socially agitated/those who are unconfident of themselves get overwhelmingly nervous around highly attractive people because their biology tells them their offspring would be less than ideal, thus rendering a nervous response.
As a 28 year old, I have never seen a chinese restaurant commercial.
Why are they called buildings if they’re already built?
If you clean a vacuum cleaner, you’re a vacuum cleaner.
If the earth was really flat and you fell off when you got to the edge, why doesn’t nasa just sail rockets off the ledge instead of launching them?
I wonder if the real reason couples have pet names for each other is to avoid the possibility of accidentally calling them by an ex's name.
Americans are the ones with really accented English.
I use speakerphone a lot, so my toddler thinks all phones are held like baguettes.
"I never said she stole the money" has 7 different meanings depending on the stressed word.
Jesus can walk on water, but can he swim on land?
If politics was a tv show, Trump would be a well-made character.
In the future when faceclocks are even less common will driver's instructors still say, "Put your hands at 10 & 2"?
There is only one sun in the universe. Every other thing that could possibly be called a sun is instead called a star.
Why is taco bell so damn good when you’re drunk and high?
[8] How do rappers write for a language that has different forms and genders (I.e) Spanish. Like wouldn't it be super easy to rhyme words because the endings are the same. Like if they just conjugate both rhyming parts in a cipher to the same "version" (I. E. The 2nd person "you" conjugation)
Every time I see a post on r/trashy, my brain tells me to dislike it and I have to keep reminding myself that that’s the point.
For all the ELI5 posts on Reddit, someone should actually bounce the answers off a kindergarten class to see if they can grasp it, otherwise they are deleted.
An image is the 70’s version of smell-a-vision
Are there any female Jrs.?
The more karma you have the easyer it is to get karma
They’re called “pants” but we never wear a single pant
Growing up, you couldn't wait to learn to drive. Now, someone else driving is the best.
This is totally a shower thought, high or not.
What we call a doughnut hole should be called a "dough nut" and what we call a doughnut should really be called a "doughnut hole"
Damn this water is a little hot for my liking.
I don’t know why but I can perfectly imagine what Post Malone would look like as a Simpson’s character
Fancy restaurants today play music from the 50s to sound classy, which means 50 years from now fancy restaurants will be playing mumble rap.
I would rather be ignored than lied too...
The best weight loss regimen is being broke.
The word "Ginger" is just the "N word" rearranged
One day, calling someone a millennial will mean they’re too old to understand young-people culture.
Some words you will never speak again in your life.
The real reason couples have pet names for each other might be to avoid the possibility of accidentally calling them by an ex's name.
Nazis with modern technology are a lot scarier then regular Nazis.
Is Hogwarts a private school?
I wonder if I’ve ever drank the same drop of water twice
The joke about what a computer calls its father only works if you don’t pronounce data like day-tuh.
If we’re lucky, most of us will only get 80-90 Christmas celebrations. And of those we’re lucky if half of them are with those we love.
I find it strange that i'm a female yet i automatically assume everyone on the internet is a male at first
What if humans who snore are really purring because they’re happy to be sleeping.
People born in 2000 are beginning to get the driver's license, voting rights, etc
If you are 17 you are allowed to be in the US army but you are not allowed to play games simulating the army
Maturity is realizing that almost no one reasonable really wants to be first in command of a volunteer organization
Are Smartphones invented to teach everyone how an operating system works?
Humans crack me up. They can't save the planet they live on but they think they can bring a dead planet like Mars back to life.
When jesus died, were all the past sins absolved or future sins?
If the universe is infinite thus having infinite possibilities and there is alien life then that means something very similar to star wars could have happened a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.
When you first start dating someone, the quirks and traits they say they like about you usually end up being the faults they dislike when you break up.
Kayaks are just reverse bathtubs.
I wonder if r/Showerthoughts was inspired by a showerthought.
Only because I physically can't get intoxicated do I realize that almost no one drinks alcohol for any reasons other than to get drunk.
If no one knows your name and your a veteran sports official, who's been in countless professional postseason games, you're probably one of the best ever.
I am grateful I can drop this soap with out fear of anal rap.
If they connected a sensor to your turn signal and sent the data to your insurance company for discounts -I think more people would start using their turn signal
I always think most Redditors are very stylish and above average in looks because the vast majority who post pictures of themselves on the site usually are.
The person who proofread Hitler’s speeches was a grammar Nazi.
I should probably accept the fact that I’m not getting married anytime soon and just go ahead and buy that god damn Belgian waffle maker
To go be someone food is to feed them but to give someone water is not to weed them.
Imagine having to drink water as much as you have to breathe oxygen.
Redditors who remove the default upvote are the real heroes of Reddit.
There’s a big difference between a butt-dial and a booty-call.
If thestrals were real, I would be able to see one.
Mississippi is a fun word to say but a boring state to live in
What do dogs think when they see their owner(s) having sex?
Bathwater goes round and round the plughole before disappearing into it,
With a probability of one being born so small, think about how many geniuses or otherwise significant people who were never been born.
Legal brothels like in Reno or Amsterdam could have a huge marketing campaign if they made June 9th their major annual event: 6-9.
It science would prove we live in simulation, we would be back to believing in Gods
The fact that I don't get dust in my eyes when going Super Sayian is really under appreciated.
Bathwater goes round and round the plughole before disappearing into it, and that's our relationship to the sun.
Bathwater goes round and round the plughole before disappearing into it, and that's basically our relationship to the sun.
At what level of intelligence does one reach in which their intelligence is longer in threat of being insulted?
Macaulay Culkin can watch “Home Alone” as a Christmas Movie and a home movie at the same time
Most underappreciated fact about sleeping is that we don't shit ourselves during sleep.
Showers are the greatest cure.
Shower thoughts are just thoughts that happen in the shower.
Legal brothels like those in Reno or Amsterdam are missing a huge opportunity by not making June 9th their major sale / event / holiday: “6-9 day.”
Dolphins are just mermaids best friend.
Are chicken eggs poultry?
If this post get's enough upvotes it will be reposted to tumblr
With a probability of one being born being so small, think about how many geniuses or otherwise significant people who were never been born.
We should design pay toilets that take body waste as paiement.
deep is deep upside down.
Tom Cruise can drive a vehicle through heavy traffic with cops chasing him better than I can drive a vehicle with no one on the road at all.
If robots gain sentience, would they get offended by the “are you a bot?” Tests?
I wonder what Lego costs in Norway...
If you’re trying to learn something new, don’t waste your time trying to do it on your own. Take lessons if you can, they contain the best methods developed over the time.
Since colors, sounds, and smells exist which humans cannot perceive, there are probably physical feelings and tastes that exist which also lie outside the range of human perception. Something could be touching you right now that you can't feel. . .
Some where in this universal, there is an alien being called crazy for believe that we exist.
The fact that Goku doesn't get dust in his eyes when going Super Sayian is really underappreciated.
Was r/Showerthoughts inspired by a shower thought?
Does paying for the internet mean paying for megabytes wasted for YouTube ads
In "never have I ever," the winner is generally the loser.
If I pay for internet does it mean my megabytes are wasted on YouTube ads
If your name is John68 I think you are 50 years old but if your name is John69 I think you are 12.
With a probability of one being born so small, think about how many geniuses or otherwise significant people who were never born.
What’s your shower thought position?
OP's should be allowed to place a stickie comment
The phrases “Duh!” and “No duh!” have the same meaning
If you have a thought and go to the shower just to rethink your thought is it considered a shower thought or a pre-shower thought?
Are baboons smarter than people?
I've always wanted a scooter with a truck horn wired to speaker that just yells "GAY! GAY! GAY GAAAAAY!" with the regular truck horn sound layered over a ship's fog horn.
Did I shampoo my hair?
In my version of the 'truth', I'm as holy and noble as the Christ!
How come no one talks about how everything is insane and the world is ending
What if “not tested on animals” meant “YMMV” or “technically, you could give it a shot, but...” instead of actual testing
Babies can’t spell but they can find everything they are looking for on YouTube.
How did the guy that invented the clock know what time it was?
Free healthcare in Canada is like free food on a Cruise.
The color people really missed the boat when they didn't name the color of new born baby's eyes "baby blue".
Icarus may have died flying too close to the sun, but he got to experience the best view of the mythical world no one else had ever seen.
FNAF is a furry game?!
The best part of cucumber tastes like the worst part of watermelon
If someone’s username is John68 I think they are 50 but if it’s John69 I think they are 12
Iceland and Ireland are only one letter off.
If there was one small lake on Earth and the rest of the planet was land, wouldn't the land be an island?
When your punching yourself and it hurts. Does that mean you are weak or strong? HMMMMMMM
Majority of all shower thoughts probably were not thought of in a shower
If you've been busting your ass it means you've been working hard, but if your ass is broke it means you haven't.
It’s a bit inconvenient that saying the words British and Accent in a fake British accent is quite difficult.
Pretty much any time I need to get something upstairs, I try to think of any possible way I can avoid going.
If T-shirts go from size xs up to 5xl then surely “medium" isn't in the right place in this scale? Doesn't that mean that XL is medium?
there's a point in every election where one candidate has 100% of the vote
With the probability to be born being so small, think about how many geniuses or otherwise significant people who were never born.
How did the rumor that Marilyn Manson removed one of his ribs to suck his d*ck spread all over the world among kids before the age of the internet?
Did I already shampoo my hair?
I wonder if we can revive dead memes by following the “plain text above a picture on a white background” format and not the “Above and Below Text with Impact font” format
When you wake up freezing at 4am, a hot cup of coffee while sitting on the bathroom floor with the shower steam going and smoking a joint is very nice.
With climate change being a lot more prevalent, "Act of God" coverage insurance is going to become a lot more lucrative for those insured.
The term "K9" for a police dog is just another way of writing the word "canine".
If I was blind I would want the ugliest most offensive clothing. So when someone brought it up I could act shocked.
I wish there were commercials about weed
Mushrooms are earth's pimples.
Once you've experienced Reddit, you google and look for Reddit links
Bernie Sanders suffered from electile dysfunction.
With the probability to be born being so small, think about how many geniuses or other significant people who were never born.
Reposts are like reruns but happen after only an hour
As a young child you probably made up random words, and one of them may be a real word in the future
The might be a player who got a shiny pokemon and discarded it because it has weird color.
I thought I would have tried a segway by now.
We should be thankful that mosquitos don't fly back to a hive and tell all their friends where to find us, like bees do with flowers.
Actual Shower Thought: Why don’t us guys use shampoo on our whole body when most adults have more hair on their chest then they have on their head?
Any point in life could be a midlife crisis, and we just don’t know it
If Thanos snapped his fingers twice would 75% of the world die or 100%?
Today we know that tanning is dangerous because of cancer. A few decades or centurues ago it would be dangerous because racists may attack
The loudest thing in my home is...
Does anyone actually know what chloroform smells like?
Based on my elementary school textbooks, I thought I would see more black guys in wheelchairs.
Of all the times I use my cellphone and laptop, I never recall dreaming about them.
What if the Internet had to put addiction warning labels on websites similar to cigarette packs
Does waiting for the waiter make you the waiter?
Why is chocolate cake not considered a breakfast food but a chocolate donut is perfectly acceptable?
If spiders were social animals would they wear shirts and pants woven by eachother?
JK Rowling should write a book about how spells were invented.
We wish dogs could speak because we think they'd be adorable. But they would probably just say weird shit like "Your armpit smells tangy. Can I lick it?"
Where do cops who smoke weed, buy weed?
Most Showerthoughts are probably forced thoughts, thought up sitting in traffic.
If you use the Reddit app so you never stop scrolling every post is on the front page.
If the first Captain America movie Steve Rogers is a female rather thelan male the movie would probably be too offensive
The only people who think that atheists aren't nihilists are atheists and nihilists.
When enjoying a shower beer, does the shower last the length of the beer, or does the beer last the length of the shower?
What if "No Loitering" signs are the result of a loitering cowboy shooting holes through "No LITTERING" signs, causing them to look like they said "No L*O*ITTERING".
Elephants think of humans the same way that humans think of dogs. So this means if elephants ever took over we would be the elephants pets.
Most r/Showerthoughts are probably forced thoughts, thought up sitting in traffic.
Madam Pomfrey can grow Harry's bones back, but can't fix his eyesight?
If there are an infinite amount of universes, my biggest fear is that I’m living the one in which I’ll never be able to get ahead in.
What if were all addicted to water and the withdrawal kills you?
If aliens are real are they into alien butt as much as we like human butts?
It took me 30 years to realize that outside-in is NOT the opposite of inside-out
what if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us
I wish Ridley Scott could make a Starcraft movie
What if pain's just something our body gets used to down the years, and when we have suffered enough pain in life, both physical or mental pain, our heart can't handle it anymore and stops.
Never say "You have Too Much Time on your Hands." It's very possible 1) They like their free time or 2) As with me, am disabled and do not *want* this much free time. 3) It's an arrogant comment saying "You should be busy like me."
Kit Kats are made from the meat of their unworthy.
When fast food restaurants have been saying in their advertisements that their hamburger is 'now juicier and hotter than ever before' over the last 30 years, I wouldn't want to eat that hamburger today
Why didn't the robots just use dogs for The Matrix? They were just after the energy from living things....I feel like dogs would have been a much more efficient way of getting it....
If the universe is constantly expanding, will there come a day where all the stars are so far away you won't be able to see them?
Today’s my Cake day, So, where’s the cake?
Comparing two weeks and 14 days, 14 days sounds way longer than it should be.
Water is just really stale ice.
As a child I thought spontaneous combustion would be a much more common cause of death.
Slam Poetry is like rapping but without music
There should be a discount or reward of some sort for wearing a brand's clothing into the brand's store.
Dog brushes should be made from the same material as the seats of cars.
I have no idea how to clean a peanut butter jar for recycling other than giving it to my dog.
I just realized that people see a mirror imaged of me everyday. In pictures, my side bangs aren’t actually on my left. They’re on my right. Realizing this has blown my mind.
Why is it a cardinal sin to leave a pet in the hot car if I step into a shop for less than a minute, but no one says anything when the car is off while you pump gas, which can take longer?
Why do people from hotter countries (i.e. Africa, India...) have darker coloured hair if dark colours absorb heat easily? Surely it would make sense to have lighter hair to reflect more heat away from your head?
Wikipedia is the only big website/app I know of that doesn't use your information for advertisements or change its format for the worse.
I feel like baby turtles have the hardest lives
Being a house cleaner is like being in I.T.
My bed is like the charging base for my body and mind. Gotta go plug in...
Being a house cleaner is like being in I.T.
I've never watched a PowerPoint presentation where all the imported media played seamlessly first time.
I can see how many freaking companies actually have my email address on file because of the new GDPR notifications they all have to send out
Why don't people put up impromptu steam generators on lava flows?
“I need more shampoo”
I just told an ex girlfriend of mine that I respect and admire her and that I think she's made some excellent life choices... I'm never drinking Johnny Walker Black Label again.
At the grocery store I "protect" my bare produce in the cart tray where hundreds of young children have sat.
Shrimp should be considered the chicken of the sea... not tuna.
If life is a game, I gotta respect the player for typing a seed that made life possible and last this long..
Responding yes to the question “does my butt look big” has changed reactions recently.
Did I already wash my hair?
The front of my boxers are unsharted territory.
How come if something is spectacular we refer to it as extra-ordinary?
What if we all see the same color differently? I.e. my Blue might look like my Green to you. But no one would know, since we've all grown up and learned that it is that way.
In 1998 kids were having 80's high school dances, are kids having 2000's dances now?
The phrases “Don’t have to tell me twice” and “You can say that again” directly contradict each other while meaning virtually the same thing
Sometimes I have a short panic about where my phone is only to quickly realize I'm currently reading the screen right in front of me...
Vehicle ignitions should recharge keyfobs while your driving.
What if Lily and James had disapparated with baby Harry when voldemort came knocking
What if the reason you wear sunglasses when you go to the dentist office is so the dentist can’t see the pain in your eyes when he’s working on your teeth
Most people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
The term "horseback riding" is oddly specific. Is anyone riding horses somewhere other than their backs?
I've only been killing the stupid mosquitos.
Is there any question that you can't find the answer to it on google anymore?
I'm down with the theory that humans came from another planet. We literally don't fit in to any ecosystem and just fuck everything up, no balance. Shelford's law of tolerance doesn't apply to us and after about 200,000 years of human civilization we still haven't found our carrying capacity.
I hope every NFL team takes a knee on the first day.
If Eve ate the forbidden fruit, why do men have Adam's apples?
Sticks And Stones Can Break My Bones, But 2 To The Dome Will Kill Me
In the 2020s, we should collectively decide to rewind fashion to the 1920s.
What if KimJong Un is ditching his nukes and making peace because either him or a member of his close family is suffering from an illness and they need western medical care?
Why are the "voices" always evil?
Does water float?
Aren’t Pools Just Domesticated Rivers?
Since Eve supposedly ate the forbidden fruit, why do men have Adam's apples?
My daughter lives during a time when she may never have to wear pantyhose.
What if sex was like pumping gas, you just stick it in and let it flow.
Anything can be a stereotype. I just used Mario to creature the stereotype that, "all plumbers use turtles as weapons and exclusively drive go-karts."
Are goths sad or happy that their scene is "dead"?