Ropes are supremely useful in most videogames, but I don't think I've ever used one in real life.
What if the reason for us always feeling we've forgotten something at home when we leave is because a part of our heart/soul is always left at home?
What if North Korea have kidnapped loads of small indie bands that are making music that is really good,unique, and original. Without us ever knowing about it!
If female nipples are obscene, but male nipples are not, would males with breast implants be acceptable?
Lasagna is the real pizza pie
I want Jeff Goldblum to do a spoken word version of the Monster Mash
In the internet it is more socially acceptable to smoke weed than drinking soda
Watching talk shows as a kid in the 1990s, I was led to believe I’d meet a lot more women who’d refuse to wear sexy lingerie
What if all this pictures of birds making self-portraits with their poop is just that their brains are evolving to a point where they appreciate art and do it with the only tools they have.
Basket ball shorts make me think of athleticism in an in shape person, but a sign of laziness if worn on an obese person.
The Android vs. Apple argument is basicly the US vs. most countries; more freedom for less security.
Sebastian in The Little Mermaid should have been a sea bass not a crab.
Read it
can bees sting other bees?
Dogs have always know ball is life
Why do fancy restaurants serve tiny meals in giant plates?
If identical female twins each had children respectively with a pair of identical male twins, the children of both couples would have the same genetic relationship as brothers and sisters. However this would also mean they would be cousins, meaning they could legally have children themselves.
If your nose never stops growing, how big is god's nose?
There is currently someone who will outlive everyone else in the earth right now
How were 4 Anglo guys with mullets able to popularize a band with the name “Asia” before any Asians did?
The fact that dust does not conduct is very underappreciated.
Downvoting ads is the only thing everyone on this site can agree on.
I wish there were uppercase numbers.
When I was young, I dreamed about having tons of money to spend on a gaming computer and video games. Now that I'm old, I dream about having tons of time to spend playing games on the computer I spent tons of money on.
A half bathroom doesn’t have a bath but is still called a bathroom
Giving out your reddit username is similar to giving out you social security number.
What if we are just all addicted to water at birth and dehydration is just withdrawal from the water
Playing weed or skunk games on public transit is only fun when you have weed
Instagram is Facebook’s little sister who’s trying way to hard to fit in, and can’t stop taking pics with too many filters..
When something is transported by car, it's called a shipment. When something is transported by ship, it's called cargo.
You really don’t appreciate the adds on YouTube until you sit down and try to watch a show on cable television.
A bathtub is just a bigger, more rectangular sink.
It's pointless to call something Top Secret when there is no such thing as a Low Secret status.
Downvoting ads on Reddit is the only thing every single Redditor can agree on.
The only time I want to go to sleep is right after I wake up.
We are all time machines because we travel through time
Downvoting ads on this site is the only thing everyone agrees on
At some point breasts get too small to be called "knockers"
If tuna is the chicken of the sea then what would a puffed fish be?
My children's children, when they hear about Moses coming down the mountain with tablets containing the ten Commandments, will imagine iPads
We can put a man on the moon but when you say "No, I don't need a receipt." The cashier still prints it and just throws it away.
The word "long" is shorter than the word "short".
Einstein and all the other physicists thought up and solved their equasions without a calculator. And I don't even umderstand them despite of having one. Scientists back in the days were fucking geniuses.
The number of 911 calls probably reached its peak at 9/11
It took like 50 years for the cartoon MnMs to include a brown member of the team. For how long was everyone unaware of this racist candy?
I wonder if image search shows me pictures of people looking cool/dumb based on how it thinks I feel about them.
What if Russian agents were writers for Back to the Future and The Simpsons and the Donald Trump references were subliminal propaganda to get us used to the idea of a Trump presidency?
It bothers me that approximately 40% of the population decides who's gonna run the government and that government decides not to let the other 40% (under 18) to vote.
Using Facebook on google chrome is the ultimate lack of privacy
I don’t like watching movies with someone who’s already seen it before, yet I have no problem being the one who has seen it already and than watching it again with someone who’s seeing it for the first time.
If machines do eventually force humans to live underground I would be absolutely crushed if we had a party to celebrate our resilience and the dj played drum and bass all night
Is peculiar that in our mind we don't see potions and elixirs as drugs, even thought they can have the same/worsts outcomes.
If we go to a planet where civilization is just starting, we should build a pyramid there.
The MCU has been godsend for the game Six Degrees of Seperation/Kevin Bacon
Move trailers really should be called movie priorers
Never trust someone that showers before the gym.
The impossible odds that all of the people since the beginning of humanity, had to manage to not be killed by some beast/person/disease etc. Keep themselves nourished and healthy enough for me to post this.
Why is there a fruit called grapefruit when there is already a thing called grapes
When an immigrant works for below minimum wage, they're contributing work that makes companies richer, meaning they can hire more people. How is that different from giving them a tax break?
I like to think that apps that give me unwanted notifications feel a little pain when I drag and drop them to be uninstalled.
Making the front page is like being born a sea turtle, most of us don't make it.
It took like 50 years for the cartoon MnMs to bring a brown MnM to the team. For how long was no one made aware of this racist candy
Using modern font "double v" makes a lot more sense for W than "double u"
Have you ever noticed that sometimes we unconsciously tend to turn down the music just to see better?
If hot cakes sell so well, how come you never see them sold anywhere?
It's ironic that the man who made millions suffer in the Holocaust wrote a book called "My Struggle"
The commandment "Honor thy father and mother" is the original version of "Cause I said so!"
If two negatives equal a positive them why don't two wrongs equal a right?
Zest gave us unreasonable expectations on how easy it would be to wake up in the morning by making us think all we had to do was sniff a bar of soap
Plastic Straws
What if Old MacDonald who owned the farm was also the same farmer who had a dog named B-I-N-G-O?
What if like, God and Satan actually work together.
Conditioner is just hair lotion.
We don't give enough credit to the innovation of laziness. There was some guy who thought "I should make some sort of belt to convey this stuff from here to there so I don't have to do it myself".
Does Justin Timberlake exist in the universe of films Justin Timberlake stars in?
The All-Time Dumb-Ass award should go to the person who decided to market a black flashlight, a device you will almost certainly need when it's in the dark.
I don't think we give enough credit to the innovation of laziness. There was some guy who thought "I should make some sort of belt to convey this stuff from here to there so I don't have to do it myself".
The lucky numbers on the back of fortune cookie fortunes are more likely to be the numbers you should *not* pick to win.
The lucky numbers on the backs of fortune cookies are more likely to be the numbers you should not pick to win.
There are no interstellar cops around here, and we haven't sent out anything alive to the moon or mars. Normal humans would have already done so. Uh I might have said too much....
Has the world been in conflict for so long that the thought of peace is disconcerting?
I envy rats and mice, scientists are always discovering new cures to diseases and quality of life improvements by experimenting on them but we're not getting anything. :(
Everytime I'm at a new place I get disappointed when there's no open wifi, but when there is an open wifi I get suspicious and deactivate it.
I don't think we appreciate enough the fact that WalMart made a job that isn't completely necessary (greeters) in order to make more jobs, many times for the less fortunate, while others cut jobs make more money.
In the Dark Knight Rises, Bruce Wayne says,"The idea was to be a symbol. Batman could be anybody, that was the point", but I doubt anybody would suspect a darker skinned man to be batman.
colleges send colourful flyers to high school students in hopes that they’ll catch their attention, but it just makes it easier for me to spot them in the mail and throw them away
There should be a polite way of telling a person that they stink.
How do we know wishing for a genie's freedom isn't letting him loose to horrible things? What if that most altruistic wish is actually our doom?
I wonder how many places I've been to that i'll never go to again.
Tattoo shops should not serve you if you are above certain blood alcohol limit.
Why are DJs so humble compared to rappers?
If I was my car's parent, I would be considered a controlling asshole because I will never let my car touch another car.
If masturbation is revolutionary, then Pornhub should get the next Nobel Prize.
I have not seen a superhero wash their costume once. Their costumes must be resistant to sweat and body odor or superheros smell really bad.
Do dogs let us pet them because they enjoy being pet or because they think we enjoy petting them?
Domesticating a pet is one of the oldest hobbies to have.
A IVF baby doesn't even take the last name of the laboratory.
Dog Parks are where dogs park their humans.
Thank god alcohol tastes bad.
Democracy is just tyranny by the majority.
Hair is dead skin cells We in the US spend billions, annually, on dead skin cells.
You can hear how much whipped cream someone else is getting. Is there any other food like that?
If there are really infinite parallel universes, every book ever written is nonfiction in one of them.
I never buy Lays Classic, but every time I encounter them I can’t stop eating them.
There should be a word for the feeling you get when watching a completed year’s old let’s play, knowing any comments or pointing out missed items will go unheeded and that it’s far too late to influence how the series will turn out, and that some things are missed forever.
"Boy George i think I've got it!" If i repost something that got someone else a lot of up votes I'll be the king of karma! Wait would i then be a karma chameleon!
I wonder how many YouTube videos start with "Hey guys!"
If someone has cardiac arrest while serving a life sentence in prison and "dies" but it brought back, does their sentence end?
The shower is the only place you can spit and pee on yourself and not care.
Apples are just tree poop
Dogs must hate having magicians for parents
You always hear about dogs making someone’s day, I wonder if I’ve ever made a dog’s day by giving them pets
Is the ocean salty because the beach never waves back...
I’d help the homeless more if they had a PayPal or Venmo.
My dog loves me so much that the greatest gift I could ever give her is coming home from work.
Canada should build the wall... then build one for themselves too.
What if our post apocalypse is caused by innovative stagnation?
Is medal short for medallion
If rats were called unicorns, they would be less feared, and more loved
Showerthoughts would be much more authentic if waterproof phones were more popular
What if speed limits are just to keep us from going 88mph and traveling back in time?
Companies could use 2018-style negative press for publicity. Bic could make a campaign called "The Bic's crazy, man" focusing on crazy girls and when SJWs complain they can just sit back and watch their lighter sales climb.
We call basic functions of the body motor skills when human skills came first. Shouldn't we call call motor skills human skills?
3.5 times as many men die from suicide than women but 2 times as many women attempt suicide. No wonder most murderers are men they are 7 times more successful at killing people
From the intro of those old mr bean shows, it should be pretty obvious that the only reason he’s so weird is because he was abducted by aliens... or that he is an alien.
Peoples last names came from what they did. Now we name things people did with their last names.
Askreddit has a lot of fun questions that can be asked on a first date
What if speed limits are just to keep us from going 88 mph and traveling back in time?
If you notice,there is an USSR and USA in Russia.
Why is a mimosa the go to brunch drink instead of an Irish coffee? You still get alcohol, but you also get the caffeine you need.
Not Listening to music in 1 day?
Everyone loves to use >_< but I've never seen people type X(
In baseball an 85 mile per hour fastball is considered slow but thats 25 mph more than most speed limits
If you raise your kids right they dont have to visit you but they'll want to.
Do you think penguins know what fire is?
Pi Day can be celebrated on 3/14 at 3:14, 3/14 at 1:59, 6/28 at 6:28 or 6/28 at 3:18 and would all work.
Why is that such a common saying that people shit their pants when they're scared? I've never seen it happen.
I always aim to sit next to the person hoarding the empty seat with their bag when I get on trains
Please correct me if I’m wrong here.
How can Venezuela counter Hyperinflation?
A democracy runs with the idea that everyone's selfish intents will align for the greater good.
When did we stop making fun of 12 year olds and start making fun of 9 year olds?
The International Space Station is our first real time machine.
The ongoing and seemingly endlessly increasing US Debt is unfortunately likely because of us humans' need for vengeance. America was on its way to repaying its debt to full before 2010 until the need to make large expenditures in 2001 to support international endeavors worldwide.
The fact a democracy needs term limits proves democracy is flawed.
Um wait I was going to say something really good.
When you read a dictionary, you've technically read every single book. The words are just laid out differently
If life was a calendar, a month would be 6 years, and the average Reddit user would already be in April or May.
What if when we argue with people, we're really arguing over definitions most of the time?
Reddit can be read as "read it" (like already read it) because of all the different content that keeps getting posted here
I am way too good at being overweight. All I have to do is practice for a few weeks eating like I am fat and boom, back into competing weight.
What if placebos work because sugar is a super drug.
What if Jesus' gifts hadn't been Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh?
Despite the fact that fruit-flavored milk is a thing, I never saw fruit-flavored butter.
Since the earth orbits the sun once every year, people who have the same birthday as you also have the same birthplace.
When people mention the 1900s, they mean 1900-2000. When they mention the 2000s, they mean 2000-2010.
They should have a shazam for music genres
GoDaddy was most likely conceived as GodAddy
A perfect world wouldn't last very long. We'd change it in the name of progress.
Ah fuck I'm out of shampoo
Sending someone the name of a subreddit before posting them to that subreddit is basically the "This is going in my cringe compilation" meme.
Ah fuck there's no shampoo
When time travel is invented people will steal content and pre-post it to Reddit.
The type of female that approaches me most frequently are mosquitoes.
If everybody thinks like me, then the very bottom of the toulet door handle is actually the dirtiest.
A teacher punishing the whole class for the actions of one kid is like a president you didn't elect fucking up the whole nation
The discovery of Alien life could be the potentional downfall of some religions existing today.
If the multiverse exists then there is a universe where it doesn’t.
It's called Black Mirror because of your reflection on the screen of your powered off device
As someone with glasses, "I hope this is the shampoo."
Reddit is basically just posting low-effort shit just cause people are obsessed with karma
If we lose something, we usually retrace our footsteps, but if we forget something, why don’t we retrace our thoughts?
If strive to be an ordinary person, and succeed, well congrats you are an ordinary person. But if you strive to be yourself, despite the obstsacles, then you just may end up being...?
I feel very bad for the office workers who had to suffer through 8 hour workdays before the invention of the internet
We should be grateful for being able scratch an itch. Some animals aren't as blessed.
What was sex-ed like at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?
We're experiencing worldwide record high temperatures and wildfires yet nobody is talking about climate change.
Evolution for humans is highly underrated. It has given us arms that let us scratch an itch. Some animals aren't as blessed.
We should be grateful for being able to scratching an itch. Some animals aren't as blessed.
We should be grateful to evolution for letting us scratch an itch. Some animals aren't as blessed.
We should appreciate evolution more for arms that allow us to scratch an itch. Some animals aren't as blessed.
Of course, the one subreddit about the wacky, offbeat things you think of in the shower has a quality filter.
Communism is a “failure” Then Where is the success of Africa and other third world countries who are capitalist?
The feeling of scratching an itchy area of the body should be highly appreciated.
We should thank evolution for allowing us to scratch an itch easily. Some animals aren't as blessed.
Non of my thoughts are on showerthoughts
Maybe the descriptions of Pokemon in the Pokedex are so ridiculous because the professors send out ten year olds to do the field research.
We should be grateful to evolution for letting us scratch an itch. Some animals aren't as blessed.
We should be grateful to evolution for arms that let us scratch itches. Some animals aren't as blessed as us.
The new data laws are supposed to put the consumer in a safer position, but now all I do is click 'Accept' on every other website I go to.
If you can't think of a new color and we can only imagine things from stuff we seen then are scary movies and drawings before tv and the internet real?
I only hear about Lance Bass when he isn’t doing something. Isn’t going into space, isn’t getting the Brady Bunch house, isn’t into females.
It’s the people who sort by new that decide wether a post makes it to the front page.
Imagine whales being carnivorous and having sharp teeth like Sharks
Saying you sleep with the “pillow in the middle” can be really depressing because it probably means you sleep alone.
I can't wait to be old and complain about how "back in my day, memes were funnier."
Anyone with at least half a heart will fall in love with the Aww subreddit.
Theres a direct correlation between guys that hate Cardi B and guys that wanted Skyler to die in Breaking Bad.
People praise those who sort by new, but no one every says anything about those who report reposts
Roughly half of the life of a toothpaste tube is the I-can-still-get-one-more-squeeze part
Saying "I have family in the military" is the new "I have black friends".
I've seen a lot of "knock off" candy but never knock off M&M's
I can pay a vet to cut my pet's nails because I'm too scared of hurting her so why wont my Pediatrician do the same thing for my daughter?
I wonder if self driving cars will race each other to see who's the fastest?
If a vacuum is bad does it suck?
It should just be changed to Wensday.
I didn't realise how filthy readit was until I viewed all by new
People love to crap all over the construct of I.Q despite the fact of it's reliability, statistical stability and how it one the most important and accurate concepts in psychology.
There is literally no one I care less about than XXXTentacion, er, Tenactin, whatevs.
A bird watching me pick up fallen sticks after heavy winds is probably thinking, "I'll bet that guy can build one hell of a nest."
Music streaming services should have an option to listen to only unheard music, making it easier to find new music that you may actually like.
If a person was drunk and senses slowed down and everything else around would be equally slow motion, would the drunk person be able to normally interact with the surroundings?
M. Night Shyamalan should do a film that doesn’t have a twist ending, as a twist ending.
I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food
Certain animals have many babies because most often a majority of them do not survive in the wild. What if the exponential growth in the population is an instinctual safe guard against something cataclysmic that may happen?
What if Deja vu is you remembering something from a past life?
Shit I forgot my towel
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen?
What if Ash Ketchum is in a low-budget spin-off of The Truman Show? That could explain why all the nurses and policewomen he meets look the same - they're all the same actress.
A bird watching somebody pick up fallen sticks after heavy winds is probably thinking, "I'll bet that guy can build one hell of a nest."
What if teeth were naturally flaccid and only got hard when you were hungry
Every time I hear the mac startup sound, africa by toto gets stuck in my head
If you don't exist, then how can you unsubscribe?
If pain is the body telling you that something is wrong and you should stop what you’re doing, then the ideal life would be without pain at all
Do I love my favorite movies because of the movie or because of John Williams?
If humans cant last more than 3 days without water how can babies survive so long by only being on milk?
Those old Pace Salsa commercials used hate on the guy who brought salsa from New York City. In retrospect, NYC is so ethnically diverse, I’d probably enjoy some authentic salsa made in NYC over Pace Salsa.
It still bothers me that I can never shake my own hand
If you remember your birthday, did it really even happen?
What if Tire Replacement shops were the ones dropping all the fucking nails on the highway. 🤔
Do you think Batman follows the speed limits throughout Gotham?
What if life was actually just a game to see how far we get compared to the other players
Sometimes I inhale profusely and continuously after I fart at work so my co-workers don't have to smell it
Don't tell me you don't like spoilers if you keep asking people for nudes
What Do I Do ?
What if a plateau encountered when trying to lose weight is just like a phase change in chemistry? It requires extra energy to overcome the jump.
If there’s almond milk why isn’t there almond cheese?
Is it better to laugh to a joke slower than others or not at all?
My ancestors would be proud to hear how many women I've seen naked and then disappointed in how many I've actually had sex with.
No matter what good EPA does for the eviroment, I can never trust them after the Simpson’s movie.
Instead of saying “I have bad gas”, one could say “I have anal halitosis”.
As a regular diet Soda drinker, if aspartame turns out to be dangerous, I'm screwed.
No tool in the hardware store is a better scraper than my fingernail.
If we all assume anecdotes are rightly based on previous events it will avoid people redundantly saying 'when I was younger'.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
When feeling left out, consider how many people you would include when telling your story: that number, statistically, should be close to the number of people who would include you in their own story. Don't expect to be an important part of everyone's story; keep close to those you are important to.
Why is the fly still in the ointment?
Cheese have holes. A bigger cheese has more holes. So more cheese equals more holes which equals less cheese. More cheese = less cheese?
If I ever played Dungeons & Dragons I'd make my character's backstory that he got hit on the head. Now he believes he's some dude from 2018 (me) so I could just "roleplay" as myself
Theres no "I" in "team" but there is an "m" and an "e" which spells "me"