Polarised politics hurt the economy, since with each election the policies of the former government are undone
Brake lights should shine brighter to match the intensity of how hard you press the brake.
So if you eat gelatin/agar-agar, then you drink hot water soon after, will it re-liquify in your stomach then take shape of it?đ€
Why would Moses be fighting Egyptians to free his people and then made king as thutmose?
It seems the average of upvotes per views on Reddit is 10%
I have had 16 cats in my life. Six of those were amazing âdog-catsâ. So if you are looking for a new cat, you have a 37.5% chance you will get a good one.
All this thinking about karma got me thinking that when I get a dog I'm gonna name her Karma.
Iâve never seen a fish sleep.
People probably put more effort into their online profile descriptions than their CV/Resume...
Maybe reddit seems full of the same comments, jokes, and circlejerk posts because most of the users are just bots reposting the same stuff.
At some point someone had to standardize the amount of holes in a shower curtain.
Is the /r/iamverybadass of today going to be /r/oldschoolcool one day in the future?
You ever just think that your ancestors are watching you fap everyday?
I think we all take for granted we're the global apex predator, like we don't have to be constantly worried that some crazy beast is going to grab us at any time.
There should be an app that chooses what movie you must watch by downloading or through a streaming service, based on your interests
I wonder what would happen if someone commented something that isnât âcat.â on r/CatsStandingUp
"Slut" is an anagram for "Lust"
Now that we live in a world of rampant autocorrect there seems to be more incorrect words than ever.
Australia is to America what Quebec is to France
There are people who actually believe that there were two different US presidents named George Bush
If Twitter sells conflict, Instagram sells envy, and Facebook sells âyou,â what does Reddit sell?
The phrase shouldnât be âto take a dump, it should really be âto leave a dumpâ. I most certainly do not intend to take crap with me.
We call it sawdust even though the mess come from the wood
Have you ever been to a garage sale that actually had a garage for sale?
Everytime I see my karma score on Reddit, i wonder if I can ever use it in real life.
There's no male equivalence to a girl referred to as dressing like a "slut"
The funniest post ever would never get any upvotes because people would be too busy laughing
Nocturnal monsters who have sharp teeth, fish hooks for claws, barbed penis and a face full of feelers. They can see in the dark with glowing eyes, and can hear your breathing from a hundred yards away. There is almost nowhere where they cant follow. They are hunters.
At some point, weâll probably need a government for social media
Dogs basically consist of dog food, water, air and treats.
Does air have air resistance?
If the first camera could take photos in full color would we still create black and white photos?
If you made a manufacturing company called 'Hand' you could say all your products were 'made by Hand'
Slut is an anagram for "lust"
I find it funny how towards is actually one word..
Why do women don't like people looking at them in there underwear and not in a bikini?
Itâs called âventingâ because youâre blowing off steam
Why in the HELL do I sort comments by "controversial"!? I know I'm gonna have a bumpy ride but I still do.
I complain about shitposts a lot, but if they weren't there at all, I would be bored with Reddit in half the time
Hollywood Dogs must be so hard to untrain all the bad habits they have to teach them.
Why aren't Dad Bods called Father Figures?
The game Fallout would be much more difficult if it took place in a country with strict gun control
When talking about Pokémon people always talk about the free healthcare, but no one talks about the terrible law enforcement and constant criminal activity.
It would be really fun to seal the shower door so as to have a vertical bathtub.
Cannibals?
"Hold my Red Bull" could be the "Hold my beer" for people who know what they're doing and are about do do something awesome.
Motivational speakers are like the religion of the new age. When no one wants to be religious but still wants to follow some cult.
Dogs begging for our food, when their food is readily available, is proof that dog food sucks and tastes terrible.
The funniest post ever would never make it to the front page because people would be too busy laughing
What level of shamelessness does one have to achieve to use the comment section of a porn site?
iPhone chargers should be called Apple Juice.
Weâve now discovered that there are more stars in the universe than all the grains of sand on the earth. And I still canât stop worrying daily about my phoneâs remaining battery power.
Eat to poop. Poop to eat.
Peeing on posts and trees is basically a dogâs version of social media. âI wonder what Rufus has been up to. I better âpostâ something and find out.â
Everyone wants Gold but the benefits are boring
I spent years worrying about the world how I could change it for the better. Then one day I realized I had to tune out the bigger world and just work on me and let my own little world adapt around me.
People who write popsicle jokes should stick to their day job
Quickly browsing channels is the equivalent of swiping through Reddit for new content. You upvote by tuning in to something.
What if this Earth is just a replica of the original Earth?
Doing things like smoking just because "it's what adults do" is one of the most childish thing to do.
I bet most of the showerthoughts on this subreddit don't happen in the shower.
People re-watching Netflix shows is less about the show itself, and more about the events and memories that occurred while originally watching it
"Back and Forth" should really be called "Forth and Back" because you can't send something back without it had already been sent forth.
Could you make a nature reserve for elephants in texas?
Is dirt dirty?
What if the reason they print the current year on money is to prevent time travelers to take relatively large amounts of money to the past?
It's funny how most of the people who defend communism aren't from communist countries
Due to inflation in America, one day someone is going to say "Damn I feel like a million bucks" and their friend will say "Hey don't put yourself down like that".
Given enough time, a showerthought grows into a bathtubthought
If your name is Nicholas, you always have a nickname.
Why does general grievous keep coughing if he's a robot with no lungs?
The Netflix show Santa Clara Diet
Everyone wants Reddit Gold until they actually get Reddit Gold
Refrigerators should let the user scan the barcode and enter the expiration/packaging date so it can notify when the product has expired.
Why do dollar stores have a scanner? Just count how many items they got
Flies sit on shit and then on you and your food thus completing the circle of poop.
In the past, people used to bathe in rivers. Nowadays, people bathe AFTER theyâve been in rivers.
The Simpsons should make episodes predicting nice, beneficial, non-threatening futures.
Breakfast places should have more toilets, urinals are not needed.
Instead of building head units, auto manufacturers should just build modular phone holders that customers can buy and use instead.
Why is it that only our parentsâ and grandparentsâ Facebook accounts get hacked.
The eternal struggle of throwaways: privacy, or gold and karma beyond your wildest dreams? It must be so agonizing.
Plural words would be a lot more consistent if we had a special character to always denote "more than one"
If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?
Everytime you smell an object ( such as a fruit ) it gets a little bit smaller and lighter
Reposts are the best of, of last month!
I really appreciate my dog way more than my cat!
No laughing allowed and no laughing aloud mean the exact same thing
What happens to a leftist that goes to an establishment where the customer is always right?
The world cup should really be less competitive than regular club matches since it's just an all-star game.
If you can't understand someone, then does that make them derstandable?
God should be on the list of man's greatest inventions.
I really wish music streaming services had an âoff algorithmâ mode. That way when Iâm listening to bad music for fun or nostalgia, it didnât affect the recommendations.
Howâs x gonna give it to ya when heâs dead?
What if the reason dogs lick your sweat is because they canât produce their own?
I want to see a comedy skit with a sergeon and crew trying to do open heart sergury on Wolverine.
Humans can focus on multiple things at once but when we see a bit of meat that's shaped like two spheres or something that looks like a hole between legs we start obsessing over that thing even though it's actually just a bunch of random meat over bones and muscles and blood and weird sh*t like WTF?
I can suspend my disbelief for ghosts, robots, aliens, monsters, magic etc. But whenever a couple in a movie or tv show just had sex and the women is going out of her way to cover herself, I instantly lose all immersion.
I wonder why god isn't on the list of man's greatest inventions.
What if birds are just in the road to try and impress their other bird friends by nearly missing cars. And you swerving out of the way is just making them look like an embarrassment?
If the Air Force protects our airspace, will the Space Force protect our spacespace?
There is a memory/brain supplement that prides itself on the main ingredient being from jellyfish. But jellyfish aren't known for their memory, and don't even have brains. I'm not sure how that's selling their point.
Does he think giving a bunch of detained juveniles a few NASA blankets makes them a Space Force?
Do literally any of you still pretend it's another hand while masturbating anymore
Life would be easier If I could transmute information, that group of neurons of decades of cartoons? change it to whatever I need.
What if Microsoft really did need to call you?
Whenever I see a meh post/comment with gold, it makes it seem even worse
plastic straws becoming illegal but not plastic guns?
Getting shampoo in your eye is just as scary and painful as an adult as it was when you were a kid.
hit me this morning
I feel like I'm constantly removing eyelashes from my eyes, but never seeing any grow. They just appear full size.
The thought of being lost on a deserted island scared people in the 1960's, but people today absolutely love the thought of prolonged isolation.
Why do people say âold newsâ? If news is new information then why wouldnt old information be called olds?
The most common shower thought is the water is too cold
The names Erin and Aaron are pronounced the same and are both unisex
Picking a college is like finding a significant other. There are some that you wonât even apply to because theyâre out of your league. There are some that youâll settle for if you have to. But there are one or two out there that are a perfect fit for you if you can find them.
Labronâs I Promise School is basically Scottâs Tots on steroids.
Vampires are really just missionaries spreading the "Good Word" of Dracula
Donkey Kong isn't a donkey.
Netflix used to come through the mail...đ
Netflix used to come through the mail...
Somehow even if you don't know the language, if someone says fat in it, most of the times you know it means fat
In a nudist colony classroom, does the presenter imagine everyone wearing clothes to calm down?
When I was young, I got motivated to take scary rides in amusement parks if there were kids younger than me on the ride, now when I'm older I get motivated if I see people older than me on the ride.
"Do you remember" and "Don't you remember" mean the same thing.
They should offer a digital code when a person buys a hard copy of a book like they do when a person buys a movie.
In the Smurf universe, how do magic mushrooms work? Are the Smurfs immune or do they walk into the wrong house and start tripping balls?
I have a tiny penis
Tesla's slogan should be "Nyoom but Not Vroom"
"Clothes" is the plural of "cloth," but we never say "I should put some cloth on."
In middle school we where all pedophiles because we where attracted to Minors.
Dnd crosspost
Imagine a world where the rich are constantly trying to one-up eachother's philanthropy.
Donkey Kong is not actually a donkey
Names of cemeteries make excellent golf club names.
Jesus is a demigod
Owen Wilson should do World of Warcraft commercials
If two jedi are falling, can they make each other fly? Like if they were superman, but they are actually flying thanks to the others?
Walmart crowds are the economic equivalent of "they'll upvote anything".
It's ironic Planet Fitness calls themselves a judgement-free zone, but has a giant alarm they set off for guys who wear bro tanks or grunt while they work out
Africa is known as the âdark continentâ because we really donât know much about it. Itâs really hot and African-Americans live there and they are very poor, but other than that we have no knowledge of this vast area.
Since the earth/solar system/galaxy is constantly moving, any effort at time travel would put you into space.
If philanthropy is so good, why all the hate on philanderers lately?
In the Nickelodeon show "Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn" Ricky and Dicky share the same name as they both can come from Richard.
Guns donât kill people, Americans kill people
I don't know whether Freud's theory about anal retention has merit or not, but it's interesting that the two things a lot of people complain most about, toilet paper roll orientation, and the way you leave the toilet seat when your finished, happen in the bathroom.
They should rebuke the privilege (via stamp on license) to buy alcohol if youâve had a DUI for a time period.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Thereâs words youâll never say or hear in your lifetime
Imagine having the ability to fill the glass with just the amount of water that you need to not be thirsty
When you sleep do you technically just see black or the color from your dreams?
The perfect way to determine which religion is fake and which isn't, would be to time travel in the past.
Every odd number has the letter E in it.
Big Booty meat is nothing more than toilet cushions from God
Do you think pets have a name for themselves that differs to how we refer to them?
The most frequently-sung song lyrics are, "... and I don't know the words to the song ..."
If farts didnât have such a stigma around them, I would probably like the smell of them
Netflix and HBO teaming up would be the greatest cross over episode ever.
Pimples are just like fruit! You grow them, they slowly ripen, and then BAM! You squeeze them into your smoothie.
Bathtubs are reverse boats
You are now paying for Netflix Standard, in the future if you don't want ads you'll have to pay for Netflix Premium
We should spend way more time thinking about how to shit faster and optmial. Imagine how much time would be saved.
You grow up calling your parents âMommyâ and âDaddyâ but you call your stepparents by their first name.
If you add warm water and soap to a blender and turn it on does it do a good job cleaning itself?
Reddit is great because unlike all other social media sites doesn't matter how many followers you have, you post has the exact same chance of going viral
I wonder who would win if I made a post on Reddit where the winner is the last person to comment under the post.
Face tattoo rappers look like they copied the edgy drawings in a high school bathroom stall.
We should spend way more time thinking about how to poop faster and optmial. Imagine how much time would be saved.
If I am murdered in my own home the crime scene photos will be evidence of how messy my house is.
Did ancient libraries have an equivalent to "Be kind, please rewind" on their scrolls?
Iâve matured as I used to get FOMO in my 20âs to now having FOGO (fear of going out) in my 30âs
It's funny that abbreviation is such a long word
Putting soap on the bottom of your feet is the most dangerous thing most people do everyday.
Like walking into rooms, sometimes I open an app and forget why I went in there.
More people are complaining about Netflix advertising its shows than have seen the ads, thus multiplying the effect. This ultimately helps Netflix
All ligma/bofa etc jokes are just knock knock jokes for the 21st century
Imagine if snakes evolved to have legs live a centipede
Men's bathroom stalls are a gateway to their subconscious of racism and homosexuality
Dick pics should be called dong exposure photography.
It's impossible to make a "D" sound (the same with quite a few other letters) without a vowel after it.
If a hearse has a corpse in it, is the HOV Lane an option?
I bet kids would stop peeing in public pools if there were signs saying "anyone who pees in the pool can face jail time"
Everyone says Iâm a good people person. Except for the fact that I have the same rehearsed generic conversation starter and finisher that ends quickly so my social anxiety doesnât turn me into an awkward potato.
When someone says "I had a little too much to drink," they really had a lot too much to drink.
why don't we see the bodies of street cats and dogs who die naturally
I surprised that Comcast actually uses 1-800-COMCAST as their phone number.
What if all the stories about amazon sending packages to wrong people and let them keep it is just some kind of guerrilla marketing
If we were eyeless we'd be unaware of color. What if we're missing some part of reality because we don't have the organ to detect it
After college graduation, you're basically going to be stuck in a never-ending downhill spiral, consumed by menial lifeless jobs and a continual search for more money. I want to go back to school
Does it happen when you listen to a new song it feels kinda "meh", then you listen to it again and be like "this is actually good" and on the third listen "yo this is my jam".
If we consider time a measure of distance of the planet's rotation (1040mph); can our lifespan be measured in how many miles we rode on Earth before dying?
Men losing their virginity to previously deflowered women feel a little gay, but don't say "no homo".
Someone somewhere is the World's Champion in "The Game" and doesn't even know.
Shouldnât beheading actually be âde-headingâ?
Fast food restaurants should have drains next to the trash can for soda cups that still have liquid in them so you donât have to toss a half-full cup
The only thing I like about Cockroaches is that they live in the dark, the thing I hate about them is the fact that those mfs can fly and kill me.
Did a stoner bird owner invent trail mix?
If you launched a boat into orbit, can it be classified as a space ship?
When I was underage and a website asked for my age, I lied. Now that I am older, I still lie because I cant be bothered to actually put in my birthday.
If 99% of people are boring idiots, why do we value popularity?
At the age of 28, my expected lifetime remaining is around 63%. When I see my phones battery at 63%, I feel like its almost dead.
Isn't the guy who Carly Simon is singing about in "You're so vain" justified in thinking the song is about him?
I often think about how dumb the average person is.. Then I realise that 50% of people are dumber than that
I don't think we're thankful enough that the whole world agreed on the same units of time.
I'm smarter than my boss. But I take orders from him all day. I'm the dumbass.
Eye is a palindrome and so is I.
If my phone didn't turn on the screen when the battery gets low, it would last a whole lot longer
The only time I clean my house is the day before my cleaner comes.
The time my house gets cleaned is the day before my cleaner comes
The mentality "it's only $5, why not buy it?" has probably cost me over $5000 dollars in my lifetime
Eye is a palindrome and so is ^I .
Surely "Freaky Friday" by Lil Dicky and Chris Brown is literally just Chris sucking himself off for the first few lines of the song?
I'd like to see more recognition to dogs that are total douchebags.
How do you describe the feeling of having to pee?
I wonder what other people's life is like
If it were true that every time you say something racist you gained a freckle, it would make sense why black people say the n word
If you died on the moon would your body rot or stay intact forever?
Iâm pretty sure we stopped using paper straws to save the environment. Now, weâre reconsidering using paper straws to save the environment.
The best part of getting over a stomach bug is being able to fart with confidence.
A bathtub is just a reverse boat
I think I'm drake because all he loves is his bed and his mom and my mom's name is kiki
Legally you are and adult when you turn 18, but technically you are still a minor until you turn 21?
Although I'm an arachnaphobe, you should never kill a spider. They have a full-time job, working for YOU.
Why donât they call nonfiction books âtruthâ
Dimitri Martin is either really intelligent or just takes all his material from this subreddit
At least one young teen who claimed they had a girlfriend that nobody had ever met because she went to a "different school" or "lived in Canada" wasn't lying.
Your colon absorbs as much liquid from your poop as it can. So you're technically drinking shit water without knowing it.
Eating a spoonful of MSG is probably the closest I'll get to experiencing cannibalism.
Aggressive tailgaters are like that annoying little kid who gets all up in your face while saying, "I'm not touching you" đĄ
If youâre happy and you know it, Iâm suspicious.
Tax would make a lot more sense if it was spelled 'tacks'
I wish i had 6.022 x 10^23 avocados
this question has been haunting me for days now
/r/vegan is just like /r/atheism in 2011
The few so called "religious" people who have condescending views, illogical interpretation of religious texts, and generally have hypocritical behavior usually end up becoming the face of the religion and skew the view everyone else has of the faith.
I will never know if the rest of the world is still there when I am not looking.
Instead of having a baby and you stay home and take care of it, while I work and provide, why not have a motorcycle, i stay home and take care of it, while you go work and provide for the three of us?
In Australia, no matter where you live or what you do it is impossible to go through a complete year without seeing or hearing a Daddo.
Hitler committing suicide is a more grim version of dumping someone just before they dump you
Hitler killing himself before being killed by the allies is like dumping someone right when you find out their going to dump you
If lying makes you a bad person, does lying about being a good person make you a double bad person?
When you get banned or suspended on social media for something you said you feel personally attacked by the entire company...
why do we insist frogs and toads are different animals when most languages don't even have separate words for them?
If you think you're indecisive, bear in mind that dolphins are seacreatures that evolved from landcreatures that evolved from seacreatures. How indecisive is that.
It would be horrible to be an actual Nigerian prince who was seeking professional financial advice.
In about 50 years r/OldSchoolCool will be full of boring instagram pictures we currently see daily.
Needing a ID to buy groceries sounds alot like nazi germany.
You can tell alot about someone by whether or not they pronounce the "s" in Illinios.
If our eye lens flips the image it is looking at, then the whole world of actually upside down.
If we combine r/showerthoughts and r/showerbeer, we may transcend to our next level