If soap smells good but tastes horrible, how do we know that poop doesn't taste like candy
When time travel is invented people will steal content and pre-post it.
In Denmark they reuse that big part if there water, from toilets to showers, so does that mean that people shower in toilet water
I think, art that touches me is art that puts me in my place and takes me away from where I am at the sametime.
In order to terraform mars we would need greenhouse gasses to make an atmosphere... why not take the excess gasses from earth and put them on mars? Solving global warming and colonising a new planet in one fell swoop.
Showerthoughts notifications have enabled me to realise reddit wormholes can be entered outside of bedtime and poo time.
I wonder how many butts I have indirectly touched by using public toilets
Who was asleep at the wheel when they let Septem(7 in Latin)ber become the 9th month, all the way to Decem(10 in Latin)ber become the 12th month?
It's okay to scream over the phone as long as who you are shouting at is an automated voice that is recommending their facebook page instead of an actual voice
A lot of these shower thoughts were probably not thought of in the shower.
There is a chance that my life is just an illusion, and that I am actually a character within someone’s dream. The fact that I dream is strange, because it means that theoretically the person dreaming about my illusion is also within an illusion.
If the hair on your private parts is pubic hair, then the hair on your head should be public hair.
In this age, words might be worth a thousand pictures.
You may have met a few famous people but they’re just babies right now
Kids are only cute until they lose their baby teeth and get their adult teeth. I remember thinking my little cousin Danny was the cutest little kid. Then he got his adult teeth, and I fucking hated him.
Why do kamikazes wear helmets?
Next year we will have woman and men old enough to be legal porn stars but were never around for Sept 11th. Just to put things into perspective.
So many posts in r/showerthoughts, haven't been thought of in the shower.
Drinking a beer in the shower is just better
Why do you bake cookies, but cook bacon?
What if the reason why aliens don't visit us is because they cant survive in Earth's condition like how we can't survive in theirs?
The only way the Range Rover Sport commercial scaling the Great Wall could be slightly acceptable would be if Rodney Dangerfield drove the car. “I don’t get no respect.”
After Thanos begins his quest to kill the half the universe, he killed numerous people before he eventually snapped his fingers, meaning he actually killed little more than half of the universe along the way. That’s not perfectly balanced. That’s not how it should be.
What if Thanos snapped himself...?
How many ants do we accidently kill everyday whilst we’re both just going about our business?
How many places have we visited for the last time in our lives?
If goofy had sex with Pluto, would it be considered bestiality or homosexuality?
Remotes should have an on and off switch so I don’t have to worry about accidentally pushing buttons (or kids playing with it) while I’m watching TV.
What if people are out there editing their comments and not commenting on what they edited? We would never know.
If someone writes a book about the internet, they should definitely leave page 404 blank
I'd rather be a shitty person that tried to to good than a good person that thinks they're great.
When a man throws a rock into the water and creates ripples that disrupt the water around it. Who is responsible for the ripples, the man or the rock?
If a dog held me against my will inside and came home to feed me pellet and water that would be deemed hostage holding. Why are dogs held to a higher standard than humans?
Planning your Everest Trek 2018/19?
What if grasshoppers telling a never ending story that goes through generations
I’m so glad their aren’t any colonies with ants the size of tarantulas.
What if there were a ghost behind you at all times but couldn’t see it when you look at it or in a mirror.
What does grass taste like to horses?
Suspending the limitations of current tech, if it were possible to drill a hole straight through the earth, and two people dropped a flat stone at both ends simultaneously, and provided they stayed flat/level, what happens when they meet in the middle?
Why does Satan punish people that go to hell? They are literally only the people that are like him
When AI technology advances to the point where they destroy humans, will the worlds animals be left free?
Home: where the ho and me get together.
Horror films should have bloopers at the end to relax the viewer before sleeping.
People who say I don't want to repeat myself are the ones who keep repeating themselves all the time.
If Earth has an enduring legacy in the universe, I hope it's because of the song Monster Mash.
If I was a smart alien visiting other planets... my spaceship wouldn’t have any lights on it.
You know how in the movies when people go to meet their SO's family and they say "Oh! You must be so and so's mother" but its their Grandma. Isn't that kind of offensive to their ACTUAL mother?
There should be bloopers at the end of horror film so the viewer can relax before going to sleep
Normally we are afraid of falling into something but love isn’t one of them. Ironically we should be afraid.
Childhood me would be so dissappoint we can't actually sit on clouds
Although it is completely unnecessary for me to leave stacks of papers on my desk, I do it because it sends a nonverbal message to my coworkers that I’m really busy.
There should be a way to write a text to someone that delivers at a later day and/or time automatically
Posts about reposts appropriate reposts and spurr more recycled content!
Its crazy to think that one day Spongebob will become the Looney Toons of our generation.
The oldest person was alive during the birth of every single person on the planet. (I know that’s obvious, but it’s cool to think about)
If a showerthought is too deep it’s no longer a showerthought.
Mass-annihilation is equivalent to a global abortion.
Would Norman Bates’ Butler call him Master Bates?
the ussr anthem is so good it is impossible not to be made by god
Its strange that we can somehow sing in key when our voices sound deeper to us than to anyone who hears us.
You're probably the best at a certain something
We live in crazy times, fear politics rule. Poverty in developed countries, war and death in others. The tentative steps of a truly space fairing civilization in autonomous cars, while people are killed for throwing stones....... this is what happens when hairless monkeys take over the world.
"Josh Gad" sounds like something people who don't swear say when they bang their toe
Do to the fact that the first few years of your life are spent as a baby without forming memories, a true "90s kid" is actually born between the years '88-'98. If not earlier.
Atoms can’t “think” like our brains, but yet I’m made of atoms.
Getting a blowjob from a vampire is scarier than any horror movie I’ve ever seen.
Shouldn't one of the few benefits of being fat be NOT hurting your tailbone?
Gawd made the dark night so blck people never protest against him.
If an illegal immigrant fights a child molester, it’s alien vs predator.
Instead of saying "R.I.P." when Maury Povich dies we can probably say "Memento Maury".
Imagine having a playlist of every song you've ever enjoyed, including all the ones you have forgotten about.
I wonder how much pudding cup sales go up when everyone is binge watching a new season of OITNB...
I just burped and farted at the same time will I implode???
If snakes can predict earthquakes, than can they also predict tsunamis?
Your driveway is connected to every road in the country.
Do the pearly gates have a keypad on them?
All land is surrounded by water, “Island” just means “small”
The first singer to say their own name in one of their songs has no idea what they stated.
We cut off the reproductive structures of plants and offer them to our significant other as a romantic gesture.
Check your what's app is the most frequent SMS I now send.
Do crystal skulls really have the magic power that ppl say?
I could be wrong, but the ability to entertain the notion that you might be wrong or at fault is an underrated skill.
Humans are the organic equivalent of an A.I. that becomes sentient and takes over
Buy buy baby should have an abortion clinic called “Bye Bye Baby”
When you’re married you wear a ring on your left hand to symbolize. On your right hand, would it still be called a ring finger?
When you really think about it, the word island has very little to do with water and more to do with size. All landmasses are surrounded by water, but we only call the really tiny ones islands.
Due to the fact that the first few years of your life is spent as a baby without forming memories, a true "90's kid" should be born between '88-'98 , maybe even earlier.
Voice actors must be the best bedtime storytellers.
Not all thoughts you have in the shower are Showerthoughts.
Why do we wanna be so much like each other
Tupac was basically Rapper Jesus; He died for all rapper's sins
The Great Plains of America really should be called the Plain of Storms due to their frequency and severity of tornadoes.
If Antagonists antagonize, do Protagonists protagonize?
How many people are shadowbanned, and are continuing to post, comment, etc like they normally would. None of which will ever be seen.
If you named your self driving car Jesus, then you could say “Jesus take the wheel”....
To repost or not to repost; that is the question
If you have a bowl of cereal before you go to bed a 3 am, are you having a late supper or an early breakfast?
How come there isn’t an abortion clinic called “Bye Bye Baby” ?
Snoop Dogg has probably been stoned for longer than I have been alive.
If i started a one man play entitled "Jennifer Lawrence" I could say i was in Jennife Lawrence without lying
I can't find my banana seeds
Unexplainable events in science could also be called magic.
In English, most boy names that start with J are from or can be boiled down to some dudes in the Bible.
Standard and Poor is a terrible name for a stock index.
Did today's moaning old people have their own moaning oldies who went on about how much better everything was in the late nineteenth century?
If you say beer can in a British accent, it sounds like bacon in a Jamaican accent
If Shaquille O'Neal owned the food chain Shake Shack, he would call them Shake Shaqs
If reddit was the thieves guild, 4chan would be the dark brotherhood.
Unexplainable events in science could also be called magic.
Will the Pentagon have to become a hexagon because of the new Space Force military branch?
Hitler is protrayed as the ultimate evil, but stalin killed more people.
Hearing “I love you” from someone who rarely expresses their feelings is terrifying.
I never realised that dragons are basically A T-rex with wings
What is the plural of Jesus - Jesei or Jesuses?
People who misspell things don't pick up on how to spell it by you spelling it right because they don't know if your spelling is right either.
MEN upside down is NEW with a backwards E
Bacon 🥓
How come Chick-fil-A can advertise on Sunday but they can't serve on Sunday? This seems like a hypocritical stance regarding work on a Sunday because of God, etc.
Being good at an office job is basically pushing the correct keys on a keyboard and saying the right combination of words at the right time to the right person.
Kleenex should make the last 10 in a pack a different colour so you know when you’re running low
The more the suicide bombers, the less the suicide bombers
You remember singing the alphabet as a kid and how the “LMNOP” letters were your favorite part of the song?
If people miss Vine so much they should just make 6 second YouTube videos and call them YouVines.
If you spell the name “Hannah” backwards, do you pronounce it as Hannah or as Hannah?
If a car had no wheels would it be called a quadriplegic car?
Why aliens have not made contact.
It’s super depressing to be born in 2000-2020 because everyone else was there to witness the new millennia when you probably won’t even get to see the new century
If Africa is so much better than Despacito, why doesn't it have a sequel but Despacito does?
It’s only a mater of time until band names are just emojis
“It’s concerning that posts from r/2meirl4meirl routinely make it to the front page”
I remember singing the alphabet as a kid and how “LMNOP” was my favorite part
Chick-fil-A is breaking their policy of no work on a Sunday (because of God etc) by advertising on Sunday. This is a form of work.
There should be a “clear all” button on elevators for when you hit the wrong floor.
On PC it's called Recycle Bin and not trash bin because when deleting something, you can reuse the space much like a real life recycle bin.
IHOP should set their signs to rotate the “P” to say IHOB at noon daily in order to continue their burger promotion while still maintaining the IHOP name.
I never realised that dragons are basically a T-rex with wings
My whole motivation in life is to do the silliest dances I can imagine when I am near other people in traffic.
"Reliability of Wikipedia " page on the Wikipedia creates a paradox.
Superhero movies are just a sneaky way to get people to believe in gods and authority
"Hooah," is the Army equivalent of , "I am Groot."
"Go fuck yourself" should be a compliment. You did well, you deserve an orgasm.
Do people who use the metric system say things like "millimeters away slowly" instead of “inches away slowly?”
Imagine all the laws we would break in our current daily routine if we applied them in other countries.
What if déjà vu is a result of time travel, we came back to that very moment to act differently; to pick a different route; to change our life's direction. And we have déjà vu over and over again because we never have changed anything
What if the cause of random pains, such as stabbing pains, isn't random. That in reality, we are just some shitty AI in a game that can't detect the main character, who using us to improve his/her sneaking abilities.
Showerthoughts are the exact equivalent of "water is wet"
My Dick fell off
What did people put in their designated phone pocket before there were cellphones?
Why do people scream in movies when they see someone who has been murdered if that will most likely attract the killer?
As it stands, Donald Trump will be the President celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Lunar Landing.
If You order a 5 count of boxes on amazon will you get a 4 count in a package?
People watching the moon landing probably thought the Armstrong name would carry that event forever. More people are now thinking of Lance when they hear the name Armstrong.
Waterboy, you're having a laugh 😂
The letters OK kind of look like a stick figure on its side.
Did the person who designed the Bolivian flag think of it while sitting at a traffic light?
If a vacuum cleaner doesn’t suck it sucks
By taking a shower, you are simultaneously cleaning and dirtying your shower.
If teleportation existed, wouldn’t you just die from the change in air pressure based on your point of departure and destination?
Carrying around boom boxes in the 80’s was cool and we all like that. Carrying around Bluetooth speakers now and everyone hates you.
Hitler had a higher approval rating than Donald Trump?
My cats only leave the house when they go to the vet. Do they think our dog goes to the vet every day?
"Made for Netflix" is the new "straight to DVD"
Flex Seal® is in advertising heaven right now
Dogs don’t sweat
I imagine that with the invention of mobile devices, time spent on the toilet must have increased exponentially.
Most of Kathleen and Joe’s emails from You’ve Got Mail are just shower thoughts.
If a unicorn were to wear a helmet, would it be a large bubble, or would there be a protruding section to cover the horn?
Do Muslim women overseas look at Nuns in the U.S. and think, “look at those whores with their faces hanging all out!”
You can almost replace months with memes: "we first met around the time of the Tide Pods challenge... hooked up around Lady Doritos... Got a little more serious come Shower Rat... we must have been exclusive by Laurel and Yanny... Or was it IHOB?"
A dog feeling their collar being taken off is probably as relieving/relaxing as taking off a bra after a long day
The word 'Shark' seems like it could of been invented by an Aussie who couldn't decide between 'shit' or 'fark' when they first seen one.
It is called "Oddly Satisfying" even though 90% of the stuff is normally considered satisfying.
If Willy Wonka was American, his name would be Dick Jerkoff
Future generations won't know that phones used to only make calls.
I love it when the leaves dance for me
In movies, there seems to always be easy access to a helicopter in tense situations. I doubt i could find a helicopter in the next 10 hours.
Does time determine existence? Or does existence determine time?
I wonder if people with no sense of touch still scratch themselves in awkward situations
What if so many people are anti-abortion but pro guns because they just need more targets to practice on
If Yellowstone were to explode, a third of the US would be reduced to third world country status instantly.
Laundry is always a dirty word.
There should be a band tour called "Holiday Dinner Tour" consisting of Meatloaf, Korn, The Cranberries, The Black Eyed Peas, Cake, Ice T, and Ice Cube.
Man this water is cold. This is what I thought when I was showering.
Stalls in public bathrooms should really be sound proof
In 40 years, the elderly will be called dinosaurs because they came from a time when fossil fuels were still used.
Popcorn should actually be called 'popped corn'
If everyone is rich, no one is rich. If everything is unique, is anyone unique?
After having a full conversation with my dog, and her only replying with barks, I totally get how the guardians of the galaxy understand Groot.
Saying “Colored person” is racist. but “person of color” is not...
👀
If you order a 5 count of boxes on amazon you should get 4 count in a box. Or you get an extra box for free.
Maybe so many people are anti-abortion but pro guns because they just need more targets to practice on
What is if the universe was just whats gods brain looked like.
Sometimes the breeze coming off the ocean smells like the cum on Anne Hathaway’s face.
If vampires were real, and they actually cherished their immortality, wouldn't they be the one's fighting hardest against climate change?
What keeps lava hot?
Your soap dispenser is probably one of the dirtiest things in your kitchen/bathroom, since you only ever touch it right before washing your hands
Saying "you're the smartest person I know!" To someone is actually an insult to everyone else you know.
Can we pretend there's some oil in Bangladesh and send some troops?
Gatekeeping used to be a noble profession and now it's one of the worst kinds of people to be.
I wonder how many people on this site I have seen and have seen me in my life.
What happens if I nut in my balls? 🤔🤔🤔
The only thing a satanic and a Christian have in common is that if both of them follow their beliefs they will go where each one follows.
Aren’t stories wonderful?
(meta): this sub has no mods
If the customer is always right, if you pay your taxes then no government body (incl. police) can disagree with you.
Sometimes I imagine a situation where a Schizophrenic jokes to his imaginary friends about how he probably doesnt have any friends and how he probably just has schizophrenia, then they all laugh. (I know this isnt what schizophrenia is really like.)
relying on robots destroys human connections
How many of us are too late for the medieval era but too early for the 22nd century?
All fruits are black on the inside until you cut them open.
I wonder how many redditors have seen me in real life without knowing it.
To make money on Saturdays go to yard sales, buy name brand clothing, and end the day at Plato's Closet.
Petting a stranger's dog and letting it lick you=cute and acceptable. Petting a stranger's kid and letting it lick you=shocking and illegal.
If i got downvoted in r/Australia, is that like an upvote in the rest of the world?
Jason Alexander should open up a porno shop called The Jerk Store.
If I'm invited somewhere, I wanna know exactly what I'm walking in to. I'll be spontaneous on my own.
We should pretend there's oil in Bangladesh and send troops to help against the government
I probably won't ever make it to the front page. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a real shower thought.
the funny thing about ai is that this relies on the bot to the job for it
Who tests laxatives?
If the customer is always right, then by paying your taxes no government body (incl. police) can disagree with you.
What if our pets are planning to take over one day and have been holding against us all those times we made them sleep on the floor and perform silly tricks for our friends? Time to be nicer.
Richard Branson should admit a few “flat earthers” on Virgin Galacti’s maiden voyage to space just to end the nonsense
Imagine how much karma everyone would have if they just knew the right subreddit to post their stuff on
People being proud of you for the achievements in your life means little if you are rarely ever proud of yourself.
We can’t smell our home because we’re used to the scent. What if outside has its scent, but since we’re used to it, our nose just ignores it.
Based on the longevity of their careers, Rivers Cuomo should start singing about how Buddy Holly looks just like him.
Think I Am Running Out Of Hot Water................
Downvoting ads is like pushing the close door button the elevator: it probably does nothing but it feels good all the same.
Genuine showerthoughts will stop being a thing as soon as people are able to saftley bring their phones in the shower.
The Abbreviation of "Xbox One X" is "XBOX"
Everything on the front page is being gilded so it’s the perfect time to post something interesting
What if Mr. Krabs is Perals sugar daddy. That explains why she calls him daddy and asks for money 24/7
An earthquake should be called a plate shift.
3 years ago kiss my ass was an insult today it's a sexual advance
The word "Calendar" could have been the name of an Elf from LOTR
Smartphones eliminated the books\magazines people would keep in their bathroom.
People in the next 50-70 Years will be watching YouTube videos made by dead people..
Nostalgia is called nostalgia because it has "no stale" in it.
If you could pull out one item from a video game and get it into the real world which one would it be and why?
If your friends are peer pressuring you to drink it should be called “beer pressure”
Pants are just conjoined twins.
Affirmative action and other legislations that attempt to counteract inequality are like balance patches in a video game.
Taking a cross country road trip can mean a much shorter or longer ordeal depending on the country you’re driving through
if my wife did not want me to refer to her as my ex-fiancé she should have never married me
I've never noticed how much Barack Obama and The Rock look alike.
Every post with a link to a youtube video is a repost.
Netflix should add a skip sex scene button like the skip intro button so I don’t have to be in that uncomfortable situation with my parents.
Kiss my ass! 2015: An insult. 2018: A sexual advance
getting arrested is just legal kidnap.