This sub has been fascinated by the obvious functions of certain body parts. Here goes mine: the heart gives us blood and I think that’s under appreciated.
Showerthoughts posts mostly are “you don’t say” stuffs, we are already know them most of the time but didn’t noticed the wisdom on the first tought.
The phrase "I know it like the back of my hand" made a lot more sense back when everyone wore watches.
One day there will be a cellphone able to function properly inside a shower, that day will be the last day of showerthoughts.
All the GDPR privacy update emails has made me realise how many junk services my email address is linked to
Aren't all mirrors one-way mirrors?
If you work at PornHub, is porn still not safe for work?
If a person with no arms or legs is a nugget and a person who is in a vegetated state is a vegetable... What truly is food porn?
In 2006, the New Horizons team was able to predict when their satellite would pass Pluto, an object 3 billion miles away, within one minute yet it is somehow still possible in 2018 that Spectrum cable can't hit a 4 hour window to come to my house 3 miles away that they set up yesterday..
If Hugh Hefner was still alive he would’ve been Me Too’d by now
People call for legalization of weed as well as deregulation of government.
Every truck or van that passes by my house I expect to have my Amazon package
There should be a James Bond movie scene where he is restrained and left to perish in the path of a lava flow.
If Adam & Eve were the only people created, where did the other 2 blood type come from?
Anti-abortionists should take the babies of mothers who wanted an abortion.
Are our voices for birds like how we view their chirps?
If you swapped brains with someone who spoke the same language, but you had their internal voice, would you be able to understand their internal voice or do people have their own language in their head?
Bread is the only thing that goes into a toaster, and comes out with a fundamentally different name.
If energy cannot be created or destroyed but can only be converted from one form to another, then how was energy created?
If I say that im the best liar on the world and people believe me for that even if it’s not true-what am I?
If intelligent robots become a thing they’ll see star wars as a symbol of how they should be treated
In a relationship if you aren’t playing “hard to get”, then are you just playing “ to get”?
Have you ever noticed that common sense isn't very common?
Revelations of sexual misconduct with celebrities have transitioned from "I can't believe it" to "Well that doesn't surprise me."
Lost in life?
What if we are left handed cuz we come from our dads left nut when we were a sperm
If faith is about letting go. Why do religious people chase after god?
People against abortions should take the babies of mothers who wanted an abortion.
Sometimes I pose, and find the perfect nude pic! Yes, I want to send it! At the last second, I see my bedroom behind me, and totally realize, it is way too revealing!
I'd like to see a James Bond movie scene where he is restrained and left to perish in the path of a lava flow.
What if the bugs that bite humans and make it back to their villages are celebrated as Heros & Giant Slayers!
When you die and your life flashes before your eyes, does your life flash before your eyes while your life is flashing before your eyes?
You're reading this because another human wrote it.
If swear words were longer, we would probably use them less.
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
I've realized that I'm at the point in life where my only hope of becoming a millionaire is through hyperinflation.
Do blind people close their eyes when they sneeze?
If you had to eat your own limb to survive, would you have to cook the meat?
If something is a full-body workout, shouldn't puzzles be involved?
There should be an option to automatically disable Data when WiFi isn't turned on.
If I was Daniel Radcliffe’s character in “Jungle”, I would also be the guy we all would like to be known as. But I can do better than that. So can we all. ~MH
When people send me well wishes on my birthday... I think well we should congratulate my Mom for squeezing me into this world... I just slid out.
How many calories does the human body burn everytime you use the directional light when driving?
If I ask one million people for a dollar then I’d get a million dollars and they wouldn’t care because they only lost a dollar
They should make airtight Kevlar fabric air mattresses.
My whole life I thought spongebob’s parents were cookies, but I realized they’re just old sponges.
If I was crazy and was constantly talking to imaginary people, I'd buy a really obvious Bluetooth earphone so people would think I was just on the phone.
A couple are two, three are a trio. What's a group of four, a few?
It very underrated that our ears block out or ignore other people that aren’t talking to us.
When you get out of the shower you’re clean. Then how does your towel get dirty.
There are people who'd develop a Stockholm Syndrome for their pets that lasts decade(s)...
Please ignore this as I am trying to fix a glitch
Being able to tell the difference between "the touchscreen didn't register my finger" and "it registered but the computer is lagging" would eliminate around 17% of some people's weekly social anxiety.
"Hill Valley", the name of the town from Back to the Future, makes no sense
Snapchat employees must know who has the best deals on drugs
There should be a “Flag as fake news” feature
I don‘t really notice that i am getting older.. until those moments i am saying something my parents once said and i always thought i‘m never gonna be like that..
How come nobody ever says eggs taste like chicken?
Are windows also walls?
Walking around the Las Vegas airport and for some ungodly reason all I can think about during my hour-long layover is that statistically there's a very good chance that at this exact moment, at this exact same airport I’m here at at the exact same time as a serial killer... What.
Being the oldest person in the world, means that all the people that were alive at the time of your birth, are now dead.
It makes me uncomfortable that if you are uncomfortable, you’re not not experiencing uncomfort but you are experiencing discomfort also your not discomfortable.
The question isn't whether we can save our political opponents from themselves; it's whether we can save ourselves from them.
Either toothpaste whitening is a sham or my teeth would look horrible without it.
The word “queue” basically consists of four redundant letters
Why isn’t there a deposit on plastic containers like there is on glass?
I just discovered that I like division more than the other three basic operations. In division you can write the first digits first while finding out the quotient unlike other operations where you have to start writing the last digits first.
Using your turn signal while cutting me off is the equivalent to at least kissing me while you fuck me.
I just discovered that if you're getting ready to cry (and you wanna hide it), eyes welling up with tears, tilt your head back and your tears will drain back into your tears ducts and then you'll feel and taste the tears running down the back of your throat.
Milk should really be called cow juice
The same people who told you that television was going to rot your brain, as a child, are the same people who watch Fox News today. Let that sink in...
I love how someone on reddit can say something truly disturbing and the rest of the thread just slowly normalizes it to the point where it's not weird to talk about anymore.
Star Wars becomes less cool when you realize that the Force is basically just a religion.
It's disappointing that I'll never be able to hold my own skull in my hands and look at it.
You ever wonder who was the first person to look at a cow and think, “I bet that f*cker right there is delicious!”?
If the government temporarily makes it illegal and no one in the country is allowed to give birth for a whole year, then there would be no "first grade" or any first graders in the whole country in 7 years. And no 2nd grade in 8 years. And no 3rd grade in 9 years. And so on.
There isn’t a single American judge on the TV show America’s Got Talent
Men of Reddit, what are your strategies to avoid urinal backsplash?
Hemorrhoids should be called assteroids.
There are two kinds of shower thoughts: thoughts that are removed, & thoughts that are original enough to get past AutoModerator
If 100% humidity isn't underwater, how humid is whater?
I'd pay $10 for a 16oz Budweiser at a Baseball game, but would never think of paying $180 for a 24pk at the Grocery Store
People instinctively tend to think there are no words with only vowels, despite the word ‘a’ being pretty common in English
I bet whenever there is a large update to super popular video games like Fortnite, human productivity increases for at least as long as it takes to download.
If smoking only hurt my lungs and didn’t make my teeth look bad, I wouldn’t bother about quitting.
My flatmate is the best. Any other compliments to compare, folks?
There should be universal signals to tell drivers common things like their brake lights are out
When you ask someone if they're dating anyone and they say that they're "focusing on myself right now" it really means "I haven't gotten laid in nine months and I don't wanna talk about it."
I feel like I’m wasting so much money when I go buy a 6 pack of craft beer for anywhere from $8-$14, but then I can go to a bar and easily drop $8 on a single beer and not feel nearly as bad..
How are dogs ok with kissing humans but literally nothing else?
Sometimes it freaks me out thinking about how we rarely see the money we earn or spend.
Why do so many people love Beyonce?
Do you think cavemen raped their family?
It’s entirely possible to equate today’s political environment with the absence of Jon Stewart. I’m mean he retired and all hell broke loose
The White House is the only house in America with a minimum occupancy requirement.
How many people like country just because of Mason Ramsey?
I wonder..
The same people who say African Americans are unfairly treated by the justice system also say that Ray Lewis got away with a double homicide at a public night club.
Think about it. Who named the brain “Brain”? The brain did of course! This realisation just occurred to me!
No matter how many times you say thanks to God, its not enough. You can say thanks every second of your life but every second is a blessing. You also need to say thanks for everthing else.
Sometimes it's awkward to say I'm sorry so we use I apologize instead
When an area is closed off for demolition it should say closed for deconstruction
Significant portion
How did the slenderman find a suit that fit him?
Does anyone else love the smell of Air Conditioning?
If dentists make money off of people with bad teeth why would I use the tooth paste that 4 out of 5 dentist recommend
The word “ Emergency” makes more sense when spelled “Emurgency”.
If you are allergic to peanuts and are lactose intolerant, You cant eat butter. Meaning you are double allergic to peanut butter.
There should be a reality TV show about all the people making Dwayne Johnson's food.
Candy bar wage analogy
I've always wondered which was the strongest of loves: Loving someone enough to fight for them or let them go?
I wonder how many people have shit themselves because they wanted to have their phone on the toilet.
It feels wrong to upvote a post about someone dying.
Gift cards are like game potions, I never use them because I might need them later.
American Gladiators should be brought back as a show, and all the Gladiator names should be Bob Ross paint colors.
We call our friends “bros” but we never call our brothers “bros”
What If when we fall asleep we actualy die and are dreams are heaven or hell. But when we wake up we respawn
Jobn’t sounds like a hipster programming language.
The prompt “are you sure you want to send this message without a subject?” should be replaced with “are you sure you want to reply all?”. One of those has the potential to be a little more regrettable than the other
did your teacher ever fart in class, interrupted the lesson, looked up at you as if you're guilty, and then continued the lesson?
Chicken Pot Pie might be my favorite three things.
Who really thinks of this in the shower?
A politician can spend years shooting themselves in the foot and still run successfully.
Whenever someone has said "Well it isn't a contest" to me, they were treating it like one until they started losing.
Shows that get canceled with no closure are the bane of my existence.
Hand soap and Body wash ingredient knowledge has decreased significantly since smart phones were invented.
What was the reason James Brown's father to replace his bag?
When Cogsworth loses gears or internal pieces as a clock, I‘ve always wondered about him missing internal organs or becoming an amputee when he gets turned back into a human.
The older I get the less I believe the marshmallows in Lucky Charms are actually marshmallows
Do you think all homeless people own a black permanent marker?
We should be able to grow wings - sometimes just flying away for a little would save a lot of headaches..
When would we realize the first human took a step? What phase of the human evolution would we know that they are “human”?
The people who invented sign language really dont get enough credit
Eyelashes are designed to keep things out of your eyes but whenever I have something in my eye its an eyelash
I never told any of you to mutilate your infants genitals. Don't try to pin that shit on me.
The primary reason cited for marriages ending in divorce is 'financial hardship'. Yet people, on average, still spend $5k on an engagement ring, $5k more for bands and $30k+ for the wedding itself.
It will now be legal to 3D print a gun to fit snugly into your crotch area to avoid detection
Blind people should write with 3D printing pens
If transporters are ever invented, would you worry that your soul would be left behind if you beamed somewhere?
ShowerThoughts is going to get really deep and overwhelming when the people posting today are in their 80's and 90's.
We should be thankful for every time we walk past furniture and not stub our pinky toe.
The only time "Live and let live" doesn't work is if someone asks you about your stance on abortion.
Someone should do a psychological study where a girl regularly wears a common male's cologne, and see if her boyfriend would rate other men who wore that cologne as more attractive than a man wearing a different or no cologne
Technically, God was the first 3D Printer.
The initial time someone called someone a human must have really freaked them out.
"My old man" means someone's father but "my old lady" means someone's wife.
I don't think that people who insist on showing me pictures of their pets would be remotely interested in seeing pictures of other people's pets.
If you had a time machine that could only go back 24 hours, you could theoretically be the biggest karma collector on Reddit.
The only time you really take a shower is when you go to purchase one from a store
The scariest thing would be to have to deal with my kid who acts just like me
Reddit Karma is just like stickers you’d get in grade school. Not worth anything, really, but they make you feel good.
Now that FoMO is a thing, I can barely wait for the headlines with the misspelled "MoFO".
Is there any chance that every upvote on this post saves a life. We might never know. Would we even want it to... Would it even matter... Would it make a difference...
If more people spontaneously combusted, religion would be more convincing.
Time is priceless and everyone lives on the same same time (24/7) Time would be the ultimate currency 1 hour of my time for 1 hour of your time
People should just be honest and just say, “I saw your text.....I just didn’t care enough to respond.”
When you want someone to trust you you can say "I'm a rubber and you're a penis, anything you say is just between us"
I wonder if anyone is ever medium amount of obliged
Coincidentally - The company Uber use 'Uber Drivers' which sounds alot like Scuba Divers.
Was there ever a time people literally gave a shit?
"Thoughts and prayers" is just apathy disguised as action
If Satan punishes bad people, wouldn’t he be good?
They say that when you’re thinking of someone, there thinking of you too. That’s a pretty scary thought to know that when I’m thinking about possibly killing that person, they are too....
There’s probably so many dads out there right now thinking they’re teaching their kid to be the next e-sports champ.
Traffic jams are the best motorcycle advertisements.
People say violent video games influence violent behavior, but I’ve never had the urge to jump on a turtle from playing Mario
Strictly speaking, the most advantageous trait to have right now is to want kids.
I wonder if Phil Conners from Groundhog Day immediately cancelled all the life insurance policies he purchased from Ned Ryerson after waking up the day after. Sounded expensive.
You feel like you failed at Reddit when you get a good amount of karma in a Parent comment, but its Child gets even more
I just like saying the word ephemeral and today's society seems pretty based on ephemeral goal posts.
We should have lower case numbers and upper case so i can shout in numbers
What if time travel exists in the future but they made themselves invisible and intangible so as to not disturb the past, but we perceive them as ghosts
You never like getting in the shower but then once you're in you never want to get out
The pope is the avatar of Christianity
Are there actually people who don’t dot their i’s and cross their t’s?
Are there even falcons in the Star Wars universe?
We are on our way to self driving cars, yet I can't put coffee grounds down my disposal
I am confident in throwing away the directions on a Cup Noodles and that's pretty cool.
Ligma is just another form of Bofa.
Demi lovato should ask for return from all the rehab facilities she was in the past, cause obviously it didnt help
If you kick someone’s ass do you have to say no homo?
I'll is spellt like ill but we'll is spelt like well
Were the first gay men trying to make a baby?
If two people are in a break room together and both have headphones, if one farts, did it really happen? Am I willing to take this risk.
I know some women whose children secretly belong to the different dad and now a days people are taking DNA tests just for fun and curiosity. I wonder how would those children fell if they ever find out their DNA reports.
Just understand how hard it would be for my sister to take down the toilet seat every time she goes to the bathroom. We are four brothers with one sister.
Trump is giving millennials in the US their first taste of someone using the phrase “Orwellian” correctly
Hmmmmm... did Alex Jones finally get one right?
The Wicked Witch is the worst smelling person in Oz.
Rain is God’s form of masterbating
Legalization of weed is something we yell for as well as deregulation of the government.
They should reboot Ghost Rider and get him into the avengers.
I wonder if people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting.
What if the day to day life you live now was infact a really long dream/coma, and all those times you heard your name or a sound when nobody was there was really a voice of someone on the other side waiting for you to wake up.
Can a invisible man get a sunburn?
The warming drawer under my oven goes up to 210 degrees -
Choir should be spelled “Quier”.
Seeing as i've destroyed whole ant hills with no sympathy or guilt I hope if any alien giants visit earth they're a little less evil and have a better sense of guilt.
We love to hate reposts but probably have a collection of pocket jokes from seeing them so many times.
Our names subconsciously play a huge role in how we end up living our lives
I'll is spellt like ill but we'll is spelt like well
If the "War on Drugs" is really a War on minorities and the poor, then...
Realized kids under 18 might be randomly picking my birth year to be “over 18 or 21” when creating accounts
The term “ball out” is when you put a lot of effort into partying, but in baseball it can mean you out little effort into batting
Whoever invented the word ‘Lisp’ was a very cruel person
Being one in a million means that there are 7.5 thousands people exactly like you
I wonder what was going through the first person to discover milk's mind when they thought about squeezing a cow's udder
If people spell words wrong, they learnt them by hearing them. If people pronounce words wrong, they learnt them by reading them
How is Jerry short for Gerald, but Terry short for Terrence?
Telephone calls would be answered much more frequently if cell phones had Caller ID.
Bill Nye graduated with a major in Mechanical Engineering, thus not making him a scientist, & my entire childhood a lie.
Its kind of wierd that when you say the phrase "that trumps it all." It has a totally diffrent meaning now.
If I don’t have the authority to steal from you, how can I authorize someone else to steal from you?
There are millions of people that use Reddit yet no one post has ever made it past 300k upvotes.
Doors are just walls you can move
r/Showerthoughts should just be renamed to r/Stonerthoughts
I wonder if the plot of ‘Martian’ would change if it took place after this discovery of liquid water on Mars
What if cock roaches are evolutions end point?
The fact that we were created depending on a not renewable source of fuel (water) was a terrible design flaw, should be fixed in the next update (evolution).
You know your post is controversial when you have the number of comments and upvotes are the same
Happy Gilmore was the Donald trump of the PGA.
The word pedantic is pedantic
Refusing to let someone change lanes without using their turn signal is the driving equivalent of telling a whining toddler "use your words".
Men and women both have very different thoughts when the word "Facial" comes to mind
What if Deadpool is Freddy Krueger trying to atone for his sins?
If a woman’s DNA was mixed with another woman’s DNA to create a girl, would that girl be more attractive than using male and female genes? What about male/male?
I wonder what the Universe actually looks like...
Imagine being a girl in a family of 6, with 3 brothers and going to the bathroom at night.
‘Duck’ is one of the scarier words to type on a qwerty keyboard due to the s,f, and c being very close to the d.
There has got to be at least one world changing invention thought up in the shower.
The Swiss must of been very confident if they included a corkscrew on their Army knive.
There should be a second type of turn signal specifically for u-turns.
Making playlists from mp3s downloaded from YouTube is today’s version of diy radio mixtapes.
Imagine how confused the first person to witness death must have been
I should abruptly excuse myself from whatever I'm doing whenever I hear sirens, people will think I'm a superhero.
If transporters are ever invented, I’d be worried my soul would be left behind if I beamed somewhere.
The litmus test for happiness is whether or not you feel like singing in the shower
The pope is the avatar of our world :0
When I was younger, I assumed that teachers just easily forgot their students between years but as I get older, I realize just how short a year is and how much it must suck spending all day with a bunch of faces you probably won’t see again a year later.
I really don't understand how the human species just acts like the chirps of a low smoke alarm battery don't exist. Everytime I hear it, it feels like a countdown to my death.
What if 3D printing pens were made for the blind to write letters to each other
Why did every old cereal commercial have a character that could never get the cereal? (Apple Jacks, Trix, Lucky Charms)
They should make a kitchen cabinet that has different options every-time you open it.
First and last names are usually acceptable, yet middle names often get weird.
I wonder if the Google Streetview car has ever been photographed on the top down map view
I wonder if the guy who came up with the idea for porn videos to have loud clips of sex at the beginning, wanted to just screw over those who accidentally left there volume up.
The word ‘duck’ is one of the scarier words to write on a small QWERTY keyboard due to the s, c, and f keys close to the d key.
Does Pokémon Series have educational value?
People playing Swimming Pools (Drank) by Kendrick Lamar at parties is the rap equivalent of people blasting Born in the USA on 4th of July
You don't choose your native languages. You native languages choose you. But I don't know why my native languages chose me.