If you pour a glass of water into a sea, sea level of the world should rise by 0.0000000000000000000007 meters.
I just realized that I got my first coding experience through Myspace and Countersrike.
While are your significant others years viagra?? Lol
How is it that we can pee without taking a shit, but we cant take a shit without peeing?
A service that you send a cd/dvd and they send back the contents would be very useful.
waiters are called waiters when in fact we are the ones waiting for our food.
Regardless of the situation, we should all start clapping for strangers. Someone will eventually be able to truthfully tell a story with the ending "and then everybody clapped" but nobody will believe them.
Should i put Ice Cream in the trash, or the sink?
I feed ducks at the lake Frosted Flakes and they love me for that.
I wonder how many times Mario has died.
My ceiling fan is a captive airbender
It’s impressive seeing someone with wireless ear buds because it means they managed to not lose them.
I spent an hour working and made 20 karma so if this were a job I'd make 41,600 karma a year.
If my online data is being harvested and sold without my consent and without me being paid a percentage then isnt that piracy?
I love to scroll down on the reddit posts
if a minor is self-employed, is that a violation of child labour laws?
Is there any animal whose farts smell delicious?
If you fart while wearing a thong does it whistle?
If dying wasn’t a possibility, if you ate yourself, would you just eventually evaporate?
You can't convince voters to vote for term limits, because they would have to admit they are bad at voting.
If I pinch myself and it hurts, am i too weak or too strong?
The sitcom 'Community', which made frequent use of tv trope and meta-humor, had an lead actor who also had a successful music career, which is like a meta trope if you think about it.
The water wasted while waiting for it to heat up for a shower by a family is more than the water a small village uses in a month
If robots ever take over the world, it could be due to people on reddit saying “bad bot” and down voting them all the damn time.
Realized Trump is just Biff from the alternate 1985 version of Back to the Future part II.
Is a hotdog a sandwich? Hmm...
Don’t Marty’s parents ever think: “Hey... our son looks EXACTLY like that guy who set us up in high school!”?
When robots take over how will they reproduce?
All the ligma/sawcon jokes are just dad jokes for millennial.
Most Mexican food is the same thing rearranged.
If you name two random and real numbers, they are theoretically super close to one another because of the infinite amount of numbers.
Being as brave as you are stupid is the worst possible combination for life.
We're only a couple of years away from when everyone will stop pronouncing the "two thousand" in the year. Where will you be in '21?
If I cloned myself 30 times and did a production of the Phantom of the Opera, would it be a one-man show?
Today I spent an hour on Reddit and made 20 karma, so if this were a job I'd make 41,600 karma a year.
The nicest people on Reddit always have the most profane and vulgar handles
When a box travels by car it is called a shipment but when it travels by ship it is called a cargo.
r/SubredditSimulator simulates a schizophrenic community
We should be thankful we dont feel pain when cutting our hair or nails.
Technically, isn't every liquid just flavoured water?
Forget butterflies, how much would the future change if you killed a mosquito?
Every mini van I drive by I look at to see if it is driven by a hot soccer mom, or a man with his soul sucked out as he dreams of what could have been..
Whenever I say or write "sorry for my bad English" I just want to be complimented on how good it actually is.
Why do we get in a car but on a bus.
Once a month, big car dealerships should pick a prospective customer at random, and have all the salespeople come out and repeatedly slap the roof of the car being shown while making intense eye contact with the customer.
If you fear that someone is reading your thoughts, just think “Stop reading my thoughts, you think I can’t track you?”
At approximately the age of 20, you'll have woken up for 7,300 times. But I guess I still won't be used to waking up...
It should be "Vegetables and Fruit" instead of "Fruits and Vegetables" based upon what's more important. So, then it should also be "Floss and Brush"
Would fast food really beat restaurant food in a race?
As an adult all I really want is to live in a van down by the river
Does crack cocaine actually kill people?
Why do we marinate fish? It’s been marinating its whole life.
Most of the conflict in my life could be avoided if I was forced to blow into a coffee breathalyzer before I’m allowed to talk to people in the morning.
Have we ever eaten a chicken tender and an egg from the same chicken?
On a clear day we should say “the clouds are gone” instead of “the sun is out” because the sun is always present either way
Rosanne canceled over a tweet?! I thought you had to jerk off in a movie theater to get a show canceled...
If J. K. Rowling makes a new Harry Potter book it should be about a mass murder that sparks debate about wand laws and if wands should be restricted.
Someone should invent a tongue sticker that makes anything you eat taste good
Most of the epiphanies here were probably not done in the bathroom.
Over 31 years, I have experienced countless lightning storms, but I have never once seen a spot WHERE lightning struck in person...
If anybody who speaks Spanish, French, Portuguese, Italian, or Romanian are considered to be able to speak some form of Latin, it means Roman influence has spread to more than half of the present-day world.
The fact that humans just regenerate is a very underrated trait
Why exactly is the sound Boo! soo scary?
The process of joining the old bar of soap to the new bar should include some type of ceremony.
A clock is literally a time machine.
Dolphins are velociraptors of the sea; they’re pack hunters that are capable of communication and are hyper intelligent.
Why does Bowser wear a collar if he's a king?
If vampires were chasing you, and have to count every grain of salt, what would happen if they were in the ocean?
What if your hiccups never go away?
A debate between a republican-turned-democrat and a democrat-turned-republican would be extraordinary
It could be pretty nasty if large groups of people blamed heterosexual white males for their problems as much as the Germans blamed the Jews for theirs.
“Hey, I’m not judging.” is the polite way to say that you are.
Automobile literally means self-moving, but not until recently, in their 100 years of existence, cars have started to move on their own.
does lightning McQueen get car insurance or life insurance?
It takes a sentence or more to compliment others but just one curse word to make that all go down the drain
Dolphins are intelligent pack hunters that are capable of communication, basically making them the velociraptors of the sea
I wonder what google would advertise if all I did on the internet was use chrome to go to google.com and google "google"?
I watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought “Wow, dogs are so easily entertained”. Then I realised I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Most of our r/showerthoughts epiphanies are probably not found in the shower.
If the universe is expanding, does that mean the Big Bang is still happening?
When I was a kid I thought friendship was a spaceship full of friends.
We call our moon "the Moon," but not our planet "the Planet."
Everytime you clean something, you make something else dirty.
The reason "ee" is pronounced that way is because you're just saying "e" twice very quickly.
If we can see ants,can ants see microorganisms?
Music players should have: I like the song, but not in this context.
If a car blinker only blinks on one side, shouldn’t it be called a winker?
For a company called Under Armour, they sure seem to make a lot of outer clothing
Music players should have: I like the song, but not in this context.
If the multiverse theory is true, that means there are an infinite number of universes where it isn't true.
The person who thought up the idea of the waterproof smart phone probably did so jerking it in the shower.
Early commenters are like scavengers searching for Karma instead if Gold
A car blinker only blinks on one side, and therefore should be considered a car winker instead.
Going on Reddit when you're tired and such and saving all the funny posts because your giggly is similar to going to a grocery store when you're hungry.
We complain about reposts but only upvote the same content over and over
The word 'swims' upside down is still 'swims'.
When I was a kid, Uber meant "the best". Now it means "Taxi".
Every day is a day closer to typing an embarrassing search query into the Facebook update box
Reddit is the Poland of the internet.
Isn’t the opposite of a ‘Shower Thought’ a ‘Dirty Thought?’
Why is it called a blowjob when they succ
The cost per day for my phone service is highest in February, as there are fewer days in February.
You know you haven't really pissed someone off on Reddit when all your posts have 1 karma instead of 0.
Imagine how awful life would be if you could get an itch on your internal organs
We should be able to decide how our taxes get spent.
If my bed had an adjustable padded vine hanging above it that I could grab onto I'd probably sleep like a monkey.
Do fish actually breathe water?
We have spiders that basically trap prey alive and liquefy them for food living in our gardens, and people are still looking for aliens...!?!
I feel like ‘doing’ should be pronounced like ‘point’
The person who thought up the idea of the waterproof smart phone probably did so jerking it in the bathtub.
Seeing how dangerous and damaging the wildfires in America are being, starting a fire could be a form of terrorism
What do you think a rainbow looks like to a dog?
The truest test of faith is buying only one avocado.
Does stuttering mean you speak in adlibs
Do you think sand is called sand because it is in between the sea and land.
If 9 year olds use anti-aging cream that makes you look 10 years younger, then will they disappear?
Someone at Disney must love the Godfather, as they reference it in a lot of their more recent movies.
Sand is called sand because it is in between the sea and land.
I believe there is a strong argument for the song Hook by Blues Traveler being the best song ever.
Time-travel should be illegal, just in case.
Movies and TV have taught us that if zombies ever came into existence the whole world would come to an end, but I think they would more likely just end up being a chronic annoyance like flu season, STI's, or illegal immigration.
We are wasting a lot of water if people actually have these thoughts while in the shower
Escalators that are set to go down should be called 'Delegaters.'
Typing I'll without an apostrophe seams like three lines.
The first ever shower thought was probably just: "This water is too cold".
Are underpants called underpants because they are worn under pants, or because they are pants worn under your clothes?
When I step out of the shower and my husband is in the room, cleanliness is literally next to godliness.
Twitter probably feels the same way as we do about Twitter stealing our memes since some Twitter posts end up as screen shots here
Babies think in a language that they cant speak. When they grow up, they forget this language for whatever their parents teach them. Babies know the forbidden language.
Gaming industries could be legends if they were to take some fan-made mods and actually implement them inside their game.
The Word ”one” has a “w” sound in it, but the word “two” does not
If a 51st state joined the union it'd make me so dissatisfied because 50 is such a nice symbolic round number.
If life is a simulation, parrallel universes are custom mods.
How long would it take to notice if the whole world as a collective stopped sneezing? Would the world even notice?
My entire (limited) national flag knowledge purely comes from my interest in sport.
Wouldnt it be ironic to die in the living room?
The word ‘suspicious’ still implies that the person you’re talking to is suspicious, even if you’re calling yourself suspicious.
Polish and polish are spelled the same but as soon as you capitalize the P, the pronunciation and meaning completely change.
Is it just me or has amnesia disappeared as a plot device in movies and books?
Karl Marx predicted it!
Considering how many people watch Game of Thrones in the age of global media, I wonder if Emilia Clarke has been seen naked more than any other woman in history.
Why do the Ninja turtles wear mask? Nothing else look like them.
The least believable thing in all of John Carpenter's The Thing was the Norwegian in the beginning seemingly not speaking a word of English
The best way to get something clean, is to get down and dirty.
Hackers would make good money in a much more legal way if they used their skills for a programming job or as a software developer instead of stealing people’s information.
If you had a genie and wished for more genies because you couldn't wish for more wishes, would the extra genies be able to grant more wishes or would they just be genies who cant even do anything?
Doing the Kiki challenge means you lost the challenge.
Whenever I think about a problem, someone smarter than me has already thought about the same or a similar problem
Google Maps and Apps like Waze sustain my ability to not ever have to ask for directions. Even though as a man, I don’t need them anyway.
You’re taking public transportation for a few stops, what’s better: you sit in order it make room for others to stand/move around, or you stand because you won’t be there for long, anyway?
Too much information should be categorized as a distraction hence a DDoS attack is an attack and not website visitors.
Why do we have "high-speed" internet packages, when in 2018, "high speed" should be the standard speed. It's just a telecom company's excuse to charge more for what we should already be getting.
Someone should make a park where they raise a dog, cat, penguin, kangaroo, sea turtle, bear(koala and panda), sloth, elephant, otter, prairie dogs, and others in a giant shared area.
In my mind Windex looks like it would probably tastes like Baja Blast.....
Whenever you see a billboard that says "a place for an ad" isn't it technically an ad for an ad?
I'm no meat scientist but I am pretty sure Bologna is just thin cut slices from a giant hot dog
Why do drugs after the age of 30 when you can just stand up real fast?
Every year we celebrate the day my wife became a MILF... By having a birthday party for my son.
Imagine how many ground breaking inventions were made right before sleep just to be forgotten in the morning
A transgender man using testosterone and testosterone derivatives to become more masculine is fine. But a cisgender man using testosterone and testosterone derivatives to become even more masculine is a criminal and people call him a "meathead" and a "roidhead" and make fun of him.
Having the care to explain why you dont care about something doesnt exactly back up your claim of you not caring.
I'd use sunscreen a lot more if it were applied by a masseuse.
Ellen's "Don't do it yourself" segment really just highlights the best of the best of American ingenuity
Windows should give update & reboot alerts when it senses I'm closing my laptop and not going to be using it, rather than while I'm in the middle of whatever I'm computing
A transgender man using testosterone and testosterone derivatives to become more masculine is fine. But a man doing the same thing to become even more masculine is a criminal and people call him a "meathead" and a "roidhead" and make fun of him.
I (Blond German, all ancestors afaik were Germans) will write "Latino" if i ever have to fill out a form with the field "race" on it. After all, Rome is closer to my home country than the Caucasus....
It's said that you live as long as you're remembered. With the advent of the internet, we'll always exist on a server somewhere, so will we ever really die?
The people that say kids should play outside instead of on their mobile devices are the same people that file noise complaints with the HOA when kids are playing outside.
When preparing chicken, fish etc. why do we use the terms de-bone and skin? Shouldn't we de-bone and de-skin?
If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, why not hop the fence?
Vanilla extract is at least 35% alcohol, yet it is completely legal for minors to purchase it.
How was the the first human to speak understood by anyone else?
Parents who name their child 'Richard' are signing them up for a lifetime of dick jokes
Trump is like a bad clone of Zaphod Beeblebrox.
People thoutgt that the Sun was a giant lump of coal
In the movie Looper, young Bruce Willis should have just shot himself in the knee at the end instead of in the chest. It probably would have had a similar result, and he would have gotten the girl and all the gold & silver too.
Gloves and mittens stop at your wrists, but oven mitts go almost halfway up your arm. This should be the other way around.
Downloading a TV remote app on your phone is the modern day equivalent of reaching for the remote/TV buttons with anything you can grab
Keeping a bunch of gift cards that I’ll never use in my wallet is the real life equivalent of carrying a bunch of potions in a video game that I’ll never use.
What would wear down a rock more: High pressure hose for 100 years or 1000 years of a tap dripping on it? How much does time make a difference?
Somewhere, across the galaxy, some idiot bought a "name a star" certificate of our sun.
You’ll never know what a language you know sounds like to people who don’t know it.
If you view a bald eagle at the zoo, you are looking at the American symbol of freedom in captivity.
I like the front page (hot) because i don't feel obliged to upvote the content as it's already got thousands.
Underwear should only be white for the same reasons the toilet seats are only white.
It's perfectly fine for a transgender man to use testosterone and its derivatives to become more masculine. But a man doing the same thing is a criminal and people call him a meathead and a roidhead and make fun of him.
A transgender man using testosterone and its derivatives to become more masculine is accepted, but a man doing the same thing is a criminal and people call him a meathead and society in general thinks poorly of him.
Subreddit based on the Reddit history of other users
White people who judge other people are judgemental.
There are cheeses and wines that are older than I am
When someone says to "say hi to ____ for me", do you really ever say hi to that person for them?
I've never seen a hamster other than at a pet store.
Are babies natural or man-made?
I see a future where spotlights send a proximity alert to phones letting people know it’s green.
Another person could see the color blue completely different than I do but there’s no way of telling because we can’t describe color
Other than a pet shop, I don't think I've ever seen or heard of a hamster being spotted in the wild...Where did they come from?
Someone listened to a rough cut of "I'm Hooked on a Feeling" and thought this song needs a bunch of people saying "uga chaka" over and over again in order to be a hit. That person was a genius.
with the write person 2 hours feel like 2 minutes,with the wrong person i can feel like 2 years.
We should be more thankful that light is not as slow as sound. That would render many of our technological advancements almost impossible.
Is every non-sentient species of the same intelligence since they don’t have brains?
Crap. I forgot the soap again.
Is anything even real?
“Guardrail Damage Ahead” signs are useless. It’s not like someone thinks,“Well, it’s damaged! Guess I won’t crash there today.”
Phones should automatically film as though you turned the phone sideways and eliminate these terrible portrait-mode videos.
Do identical twins have the same penis size?
The first woman to crash her car in Saudi Arabia will probably make their national news and spark debates on if women should be kept allowed to drive.
Italy was boot shaped long before boots were a thing, so are all boots Italy shaped?
what if we take advantage of the earth's rotation to produce renewable energy
Does wood grow on trees?
As I get older, I become increasingly more insulted by "Only the good die young" by Billy Joel
In France, I wonder if stoners go around saying 80 on April 20th.
What if a meteor falls on earth and we discover a new mineral.
Dogs: “If you don’t feed me, I’ll die.” Cats: “If you don’t feed me, you’ll die.”
Whatever happened to Ebola?
She's totally cheating on me
Now that newspapers are dead or dying, what do dads read at the Sunday breakfast table?
"From the bottom of my heart" doesn't sound quite so good when you consider all the junk quality stuff is usually on the bottom.
I used to think brand loyalty was stupid, then I realized I like videos before I watch them if I like the creator.
I've never seen a spider in a gym
What would happen to mosquitoes that drank vampire blood?
I'm one of the very few people who grew up with internet in the 2000's and still never got to experience Club Penguin.
I wonder if our cell phone camera can track where our eyes are looking on our phone screens...
The Rock should be remade with “The Rock”
I use more toilet paper using a porta-john once than I do a whole week at home. Gotta make that landing pad to prevent splashing.
If everything is made up of atoms, and atoms are not living things, at what point do all those atoms make me me?
If you can’t write or read, can you scribble it?
By telling me not to be a dick aren't you kind of being a dick?
Think about the word maybe...
Do chocolate covered ants get ruined if you find them being eaten by ants?
Do animals think smokers are dragons?
All the most upvoted posts on r/unpopularopinion are actually popular opinions
Celebrity meet-n-greets at (comic) conventions are weird to me. Celebrities on display like they are zoo animals.
There must have been a Reddit creative meeting where they had to decide to change the flash of the Reddit loading symbol avatars spinning aerial from once every revolution to once every two revolutions
Robin Hood was a communist.
Why aren’t the elderly called olderly?
I offered someone a drink at a party. They said "No thanks I'm an alcoholic" but isn't that a reason for them to have the drink?
Netflix just created a new way to do market research. Create fake news and see how the world reacts. Proceed to do what the world wants rather than what its against.
If life is a video game whoever plays my character sucks.
When the internet was made eveey one who was useing it was internaut and today barely no one uses thet word. Today every one who was in space is astronaut and in future barely no one will use thet word.
Thoughts about a certain subreddit
Age?
War is legal murder.
“Hmm, the shower is a bit cold, I’ll make it hotter”
Language evolves. "Play the Trump card" used to mean you were a winner. Now it means you're about to lie and get away with it.
What if time travelers just don't come here because this is the boring part of history?
Magic Johnson has wasted a damn good p*rn name on a basketball career
Every ShowerThought on the Top page started as a post on the New page with no upvotes
Shower Thought
If you miss an appointment, does that mean the the person with whom you had the appointment is disappointed?
Did superman start wearing his underwear inside or has he gotten rid of it completely?