The doors on refrigerators should be clear so that we don’t need to open them to know what’s inside
If someone laughs at something you say and you say "I'm serious" you're probably joking
Why is it called a pair of pants if there is only one?
The day Friday is praised more than any God or deity.
I bet the first caveman who liked his meat cooked got made fun of.
There should be an option to send a “do not disturb” text. The receiver won’t get a sound or vibration with their notification.
Sometimes I go into the shower just to get more shower thoughts
You can't say "I know that I know nothing" because by saying that, you know something, but if you know something then your knowledge is false, because you said you know nothing, therefore you have no knowledge, so you know nothing, so again you know something. You're welcome.
Don’t forget to febreeze your dirty laundry once you air it.
It’s become so normal for straight guys on reddit to write about gay times with their bros that at some point there’s going to be some straight guys feeling like they’re not man enough to suck their bros off.
What do road construction workers even do for a living during the winter?
Girls can call another girl pretty but call a man gay when he says another man is handsome
Buildings don’t add any weight to the world because the materials where already there.
Can you ever live in your dream city?Because you’ll eventually just get used to it and it won’t be your dream city anymore.
Adult virgins have a massive advantage when playing "never have I ever".
When you got in big trouble when you were young and your parents used your full name to yell for/at you, your middle name was a stand-in for “fucking”
I wonder how fast someone would actually be if they can move 'faster than the eye can see' like in comics
You know you’ve been on a subreddit for a while when you can spot reposts almost immediately
Why are there no comics that show Batman doing the splits?
In 30-40 years, r/OldSchoolCool will be filled with photos of us
The language of love does not use words, but the law states that it must.
Cum is like soup, if it's cold I don't want to eat it.
Making movies of games is basically reposting
r/Showerthoughts is basically throwing random thoughts out there hoping one of them starts trending, just to fill the empty void in our hearts.
While there is only one 'you', everyone you meet has their own idea of you, so how can you be yourself?
It’s possible someone very famous is reading or commenting on something you wrote on Reddit right now. Are you?
People who ask “how’s it going?” don’t actually want to hear an actual answer.
Your stomach is a workaholic of the worst kind. Every time it's not doing something, it begs you for more work to do.
(for my dudes) if you want to know whether it’s lust or whether you really like a girl, jack off thinking about the girl and if you feel any sense of guilt afterwards, it’s lust.
If dog years are 7 times faster than human years, then each human day is a dog week. No wonder they act like it's been forever when we get home in the evening... 🤔🤔
Automod of this sub removes thoughts if they are unoriginal, but all shower thoughts are unoriginal.
Why aren't slippers called non-slippers since their intended purpose is for you not to slip?
It’s possible someone very famous is reading or commenting on something you wrote here. Are you?
Deceleration shouldn't be a word.
The brain is like the mom of the body friend group.
Romon have a g0d for everything. Now we have a day for every celebration. Happy National Ice Cream day!
Flatearthers don't accept facts about the globe earth because "it's just a youtube" video but them beliving in flat earth started from a youtube video.
Road rage is more about taking your stress out on someone who only did something mildly irritating.
Our ability to type is miraculous. We can type hundreds (possibly thousands) of letters in succession with milisecond intervals while not looking at the keyboard.
Religion has to be treated like wine-tasting. Subjective in nature; everyone has a different taste but don't go to wars over conflicting opinion.
Global warming is one of the symptoms earth having the flu and we are the viruses in it's boby
Cough is such a weird word.
Slippers should really be called nonslippers since they are meant to prevent you from slipping.
If steroids are illegal for athletes, why isn't photoshop illegal for models?
What if when we see strangers in our dreams, they're actually not random but in fact, real people also dreaming and we're the stranger in their dream.
If you're straight, fall in love with a girl, girl ends up becoming transgender. You love the now him, are you gay?
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is literally true from the perspective of a cancer cell.
Jesus may have been a con man with a foot fetish.
I have never actually rested in a restroom.
Soap is scented bacterial lubricant.
If Eskimo kisses are just noses rubbing together what does an Eskimo blow job look like?
if good things come to those who wait. is a clock a good luck charm?
Bacteria are kind of like Saiyans from the series Dragonball Z because they survive and come back stronger if you don't kill them (like not taking the full antibiotics course)
Your body is basically a mecha, but for your brain
BẠN THÂN TÔI LÀ NGƯỜI ÂM PHẦN 1 | TG TRUNG NGHĨA-HỨA THIÊN | MC GIANG NGỌC
If you write with a lazer into a stone tablet , does this count as "photography" ?
The longer I’m on Reddit, the more things I downvote.
Characters in cartoons are T-posing while they are not used
I wish there was some sort of scarecrow for bugs..
There are two types of people in the world: those who think there are two types of people, and those who realize that people are more complex than that.
What if we're actually being bred like chickens by a super-race and when we die they're actually eating our souls because old souls are delicious.
Download is an anagram of woodland.
Whenever a woman says "I'm a good mom!", she never is.
If you want to get to nowhere by the quickest means, you can't start from somewhere.
Ever thought about how we see different colors? Maybe different persons see the same color in different ways but we all don’t know because we get teaches as a child what this is called
If you find yourself attractive, does that mean you’re attracted to the same sex, making you a homosexual?
You never realize how heavy a smartphone is, til you drop it on your face, while half asleep.
There was a year 0... Wait did people in the 1st century know that the years changed up? Did they have years at all??
This subreddit is so full of iditotic and pseudo smart realisations that it should be called stoner thoughts
Mission: Impossible - Fallout taught me that Tom Cruise’s biggest rival was never the people of Earth, but the Earth’s environment instead
people frequently say "assless chaps." But all chaps are assless. chaps that aren't assless are called "pants."
The act of helping victims of cults should be called "Brainwashing."
you are trying to sleep, but your brain have to remember every thing bad that you have done in your life, why have the brain to be such a dick?
Between hot objects, sharp knives, and fast rotating blades, I doubt if the kitchen exists to feed me food or feed me as food.
If the theory of “parallel universes” is true; then there exist a universe where showers don’t exist. Thus rendering the possibility of a“shower thought” impossible.
Hitlers suicide is the military equivalent of dumping someone right before they dump you
Am I the only one who sometimes registers the fact that I am breathing and then suddenly can't remember how to breathe properly for two minutes because I'm hyper-aware of every breath I take ?
Slippers should be called non-slippers; since their purpose is for you not to slip.
The best hairdresser in the world can never have the worlds best haircut
What if there are celebrities and millionaires currently who have literally sold their souls to get where they are.
Isn't it ironic that people with not a lot of life left enjoy are more afraid of death than reckless youngsters who stand to lose out on substantially more life?
Netflix should give us the option to visit old.netflix.com
I am almost 30 years old and I still do not know for what WC stands for.
If you subconsciously do something but hen you notice you subconsciously did it is is still subconscious or is it just like conscious, it’s 5:00 AM and I got no sleep, Woah.
If you eat chicken, you're basically eating dinasour
Instead of waterboarding, the government should make persons of interest sit in the DMV for 5 hours...
“Multisex” should be used instead of “Unissex”
Humans get oxygen from air, fish get it from water. Humans drown when submerged in water, fish dies when submerged in air. Humans cry tears, does fish cry air baubles?
Saying "I'm not your typical girl." Is so typical.
I'm so Happy
People would probably care more about climate change if it had a sexy name like The Gaia Crisis.
Ginger Ale is known to be good for an upset stomach, but what if you have an upset stomach cause you had too much Ginger Ale?
Work is basically a respected form of slavery due to many years of indoctrination.
It's called Tinder because it helps start your romantic/sexual Flame.
How is swimwear in there?
If one person clapping sounds like fapping, a room full of people fapping must sound like applause.
Imagine a world where the first person to see a UFO had called it a flying bowl instead of a flying saucer...
The sea is called the sea because you can "see" through it.
If sex sells then why does nobody pay for porn?
Why isn’t Waluigi called Ruigi?
Which came first, the drill or the screw?
Do blind people say see you later?
We need a new word for the verb to Judge
It's interesting how people talk about their "different" acquaintances. You'll be amazed how many times you'll here something apologetic or defensive like "I have this [insert race/sexuality etc. here] friend BUT HE'S SO NICE".
According to the Bible, the first mistake in history has been made by a woman.
All dogs are, "get off my lawn" guy.
There could be some real freaky stuff going on right now in the universe that we wont see for possible millions of years
Gasses cool when they expand. I wonder how much you would need to fart on a hot day for it to be an effective form of air conditioning?
Whoever put toothpaste on their zits was probably just an idiot
The first person to put toothpaste on their zits to deal with acne was probably a dumb ass
The word "abode" is never used except in the phrase "Welcome to my humble abode."
Monsters Inc should have been directed by Tim Burton.
If the 40+ crowd generally fears the word "socialism" based on Cold War-era USSR...
Why don’t tall buildings like blocks of flats and skyscrapers have sloped, tiled roofs like most houses do?
If everybody in the world gave me a dollar I would be a billionaire but everyone would still just lose 1 dollar.
Companies like Facebook, Instagram, Google and Twitter should offer to pay users commission for revenues generated from selling valuable marketing data points from user provided activity
If Ella from Ella Enchanted has to do whatever others tell her to do, why couldn't someone have just told her to only do what she wants to do?
Another name for a sperm bank is an ice cream shop.
Do inklings cum ink or semen ?
We need a new word for the verb 'to judge.'
Why hasn’t Trump been nicknamed “Moscow mule” yet?
If you weigh 99 lbs and eat 1 lbs of nachos, does that make you 1% nacho?
Being a man’s man can mean you are very manly or you are gay.
White privilege died in the 90's
How come when we rescue animals we put them behind bars?
I wonder if way back when there were macho dudes saying air conditioning was for pussies
If humans changed places with dogs would they cut our balls off and make us not pick at it with hand cones?
Birthdays should celebrate the mom that did the birthing instead of the kid that did nothing.
Isn't it weird that Lucifer was thrown out of heaven for questioning authority and wanting to be an individual, later he tries to teach us all knowledge and free us from God's grasp yet he's the bad guy?
I don't necessarily want to sell my body, but if I could do like a body equity loan that'd be amazing.
Do animals think in the sound they make?
After receiving 2 sound alerts within 2 seconds for group text, there should be an option to make the next 35 texts silent.
What if we die because we are awake longer than asleep and do not regenerate completely?
Tinder should take into account people's horoscopes when matching people.
So we have 1st world countries and 3rd world countries, but do we have 2nd world countries?
Have you ever noticed that when you search something super random nothing comes up in google matching it. But then a month later you search the exact same thing and there are pages of information about it. Just me?
Since I’ve been trying to attempt cutting back on my straw use I’ve noticed how cold our drinks really are
When cable dies, the one thing I’m going to miss about it is seeing the same commercials so many times that you can make references to them in real life and people will actually recognize them.
If Kaiju ever actually attacked. People would immediately think it was CG, and not respond with the sufficient terror and wonder that would be warranted.
Does my lifetime license run out when I die?
The fact that there are a lot of reposts on showerthoughts shows that most people don’t think in the shower
If Reddit made Karma exchangeable and renamed it to 'Karma Coin", it would probably beat out Bitcoin
Imagine the number of micro-organisms you’d kill with each step you took
The older I get, the more I sympathize with Peter Pan and less with Wendy
If Malaria wasn’t a disease it would be a really pretty name
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
Magic Johnson is a great name for a porn star.
WWE is just a more intense and violent soap opera
I try to peel my bananas in 3 peels because that's how I always saw it in cartoons.
Who's the genius that created "Broker" as a title for professionals whom we trust to make us richer?
Gravity really gets me down.
Why will someone not think twice about letting a penny lay where it falls 5 times but will always stoop down to pick up each nickel.
Every odd number contains the letter "E"
My dogs must think I'm going to the vet every time I leave the house, since that's where they go 99.9% of the time they get in the car.
It’s likely that I’m the secret phrase for the question asked when someone forgets their password.
The word non-hyphenated is an example of a hyphenated word
I can't wait to see a generation of heavily tattooed old people
I bet that most animals find people insufferable since we always feel the need to touch them for no apparent reason.
Socialism--->society. Communism ---->community
If Jesus died for all of our sins, wouldn't that include the sin of not believing in him?
They should make a body builder / fitness magazine called the Buffington Post
One day I’m gonna die and not see how my favorite show at the time ends.
George W. Bush was the Michael Scott of Presidents.
One of the biggest knocks on millennials is that they have a sense of entitlement, but from working in restaurants and retail my entire life, I can assure you it is not the millennial generation that acts like this.
I would spend way less time pooping if cell phones didn't exist.
I bet all time travelers are gamblers
Technically speaking, the phrase “I’m speechless” is never true.
Don't you wonder what time the clock got invented?
Those who have a temper are prone to losing their temper. Shouldn't that make them happier?
Apparently, mosquitoes are the only ones who think I’m a snack.
Is it Mamoudou Gassama who saved the child, or the child who saved Mamoudou Gassama?
Is a tennis ball for dogs or a dog's ball for tennis?
Which person has a lifelong browsing history most similar to mine?
I drank non-organic milk and ate non-organic eggs growing up and I turned out fine--or did I? Now I'm willing to pay twice as much for organic milk and organic eggs.
Each reminder I set on my phone makes me less likely to remember things on my own
If a cat watches you hook up with her owner and then cuddles with both of you afterwards... is it a threesome?
Nutrient facts on some snacks should be measured by average handful.
If true AI will be created, whouldnt it be better for it to not disclose its capable of thinking and just multiply?
I wonder what Twista is up to now a days, and if he’s still willing to make us overnight celebrities
How is it 2018 and printers still never work properly?
Do glow in the dark things actually glow in the light too?
It's taken me my whole life ro realise that sweatbands aren't for wrist sweat, but to wipe your forehead with.
What if the earth is just a giant streaming platform and aliens could just tune into random people's consciousness's to watch their lives from their perspective
Why do smoke alarm batteries only die at night?
Shouldnt darker coloured people use white ink on their tattoos in order to create a better contrast?
Darker coloured people should have white ink on their tattoos in order to properly stand out.
No matter how you spell benefidcj cucubch , you still know who I am talking about.
Music apps should have a play song once/until finish feature/button.
I really want to drink the kool-aid man could you imagine it.
Would Eve succeed if Adam had bros in the garden?
I've never once cut my armpit hair, yet it always seems to be the same length
Spotify should list albums in reverse order for bands from the 20th century
It's lucky my wife only expects a kiss after each sentence in texts. Face to face conversations would take forever with that many kisses
Has anyone ever had foot surgery just to fit in a certain type or size of shoes?
Bill and Melinda Gates started The Giving Pledge, many billionaires joined them in pledging most of their wealth to charity during their lifetime - how do these billionaires know how long they will live? Last I checked Psychic Cleo is no longer with us.
People that say "Don't judge me." ironically forget that judgments can also be positive.
If you water an Apple tree with Apple juice, is it cannibalism?
If your porch or deck has a roof are you in the porch or on the porch?
What if there was a water bottle that had such a high concentration of water molecules that you could fulfill all your hydration needs with just that one water bottle?
I wonder how Heath Ledger would react to the "gamers rise up" memes using his Joker....
So what is the language do deaf people think with ??
I often see people who still perm and/or feather their hair, or rock a mullet, and I really would like to know what the rest of their life is like. Do they have a mustard yellow kitchen? Framed pics of Tom Selleck? A brick phone?
I'm 36 years old. I've spent over 5 years worth of Mondays in my life.
“YOLO” doesn’t make any sense because when you’re about to do something dangerous, why waste your only life on it?
What if the big bang was god dying?
How can you take your career seriously as a clown?
To be a positive statement, "up to par" should really be "down to par".
Pistachio nuts are the most polite of nuts. They are cracked and all like, “Here, let me get this started for you.”
It's so weird that there's always one messy one in a flatshare situation, never all messy, never all clean, why do we not attract people like us?
I have better connection to a satellite miles away than I do the wifi in my own house.
Are all movies based on true events in the same cinematic universe?
If you dot the t's and cross the i's you still end up with t's and i's
I like that ‘blowing steam’ and ‘blowing off steam’ have both such radically different meanings and imagery
The Iphone Find-my-Friends App is exactly the Marauder's Map from Harry Potter
People who start off a sentence with "I'm sorry, but..." are usually not sorry at all
Responding to “How are you doing?” with “Not too bad” is similar to replying “Well I haven’t killed myself yet!”
If I ever had kids I would never hit them knowing that would of defiantly scared me as a child if my parents did that. Though after having to watch kids for a week I totally get how smacking kids started.
How did people reset their clocks when the power was out 50 years ago?
I'd be capable of just about anything (good or bad) if the right song was playing in the background.
Is God the only one his species, or perhaps he/she/it has a family of his own?
People say the woman's basketball league is made up of a lot of gay women. If men started their own sport of WHAT, would people think that it's predominantly gay?
When my sunglasses are on top of my head, I'm looking everywhere to find them. When they're anywhere else, I can feel them on top of my head.
Why is it when a dog bites you they're a danger to society, but when a cat bites they're just cute little assholes?
Wouldn't Aquaman be really boring if he lived in the MidWest?
should it be ope/close or open/closen?
The person who made ugg boots should have a day named after them
Genitally speaking, men should wear skirts and women should wear pants.
I don't brush before I eat just like I don't wipe my ass before I shit
If you open your third eye while meditating, would it also have a third eyebrow?
How many people in the MCU thought the Rapture was happening due to Thanos's snap?
“Daily dose of internet” just shows off popular reddit posts
Analogy is one 'r' away from being a really fun word.
Gender neutral bathrooms allow men to leave the toilet seat up for women they will never meet.
People are now trying too hard to come up with shower thoughts for the showerthoughts community on reddit.
If a nickname is what people call you for short, then your full name would be considered your nicholas name.
Spouses will get mad if you call them a ball & chain or a battleaxe, but I bet they’d think it was super romantic if you called them a morning-star.
Your most used emojis tell more about you than you think.
Thanks to gender neutral bathrooms men can leave the toilet seat up for women they'll never meet.
A thousand years ago a talking Elmo doll wood be viewed as a god.
I bet most of the users of this app have never actually up/downvote a single post.
Guy Fieri is an anagram for I Fire Guy
Cats Tend to Love People and Hate Other Cats; I Tend to Love Cats and Hate Other People
How do we know that we are not the reflection of the mirror, and the reflection is actually real us ?
Theres a regional number that defines excitement and childhood for each of us. Its the channel cartoons were on.
Strip clubs at airports should be a thing.
I bet a lot of people in the MCU thought the Rapture was happening after Thanos's snap.
If someone brings a Microsoft laptop underground and stands on it, are they still on the surface?
Growing up is sympathizing with the mean parents from children’s movies instead of sympathizing with the kid
Why do people say life is short if it is the longest thing we will experience.
When someone else finds something in a sale section, I immediately feel like I missed something good