Why do we find what we find attractive, attractive?
I like my women like I like my trucks.
There's gonna be a day when Earth is no more........ then what?
If life on other solar systems exists, would sunglasses be named according to the star, like Kepler-444glasses?
How many royal chefs were executed because the nobles they were serving had a fatal allergic reaction?
Double (and higher) ply toilet roll should be a basic human right
Maybe we should start with quantum toys before we move to quantum computers.
If you're straight and you like a transgender are you bi?
Reddit reposts are just that kid in middle school who says your joke a little louder and everyone laughs.
It's perfectly acceptable to put a litter of puppies in a cardboard box, but put a bunch of babies in a box and you'll probably get the police called on you.
You can’t buy beds or baths at Bed, Bath, and beyond.
What if we sucked up fire instead of drinking water?
The word 'leotard' is probably offensive to mentally challenged people born between July 23rd and August 22nd.
The Spanish word for pancake is panqueque which directly translates to “bread what what”
Why doesn’t Reddit save our thumbs, and place a “next article” button situated at the bottom of each post, to save our precious tendons?
Starting this year, every 18 year old who registers to vote was born in the 21st century
We're moving towards a world where it will be legal to snort cocaine as long as you don't do it with a plastic straw.
I don't think I've ever been to a hotel that didn't have white towels.
In Aladdin the genie put on “friend like me” because he planned it 10,000 years while he was in the lamp
If the Government was a brain, then the work of its agencies,regulatory bodies, bureaucracy etc would be Subconscious activity. Whilst legislative/executive actions would be Conscious activity.
I am wasting water by having this thought right now.
Showerthoughts is just the PG version of Hitsblunt.
It is finally a beautiful day outside. I can't wait to spend it indoors.
If nobody on Reddit sorted by "new". Posts with no (1) upvotes would make it to the frontpage.
The best part about watching Game of Thrones is not just the plots nor the storyline, but the huge library of memes you will unlock for yourself to enjoy.
Every time I read a TIFU title, my first thought is, "No you didn't."
I imagine the price of mirrors have substunally decreased the past 200 years.
Seeing your reflection in something means it's really clean unless it's glass
What if Great White Sharks are just Megalodons in an world without the right food...Dwarf Megalodons...
Maybe God really did sacrifice them self and that's why we never hear from them
Video phone calls turned out way less exciting than what 70s Sci-Fi made us dream
Having to wait to be seen in the ER is a good thing, because it means you’re not as sick as you thought and you’ll likely survive
If NSA really has access to people's front cameras, then they have the best and most genuine collection of reaction videos.
If you say "Litterally" about something, you usually mean it less litterally.
Every time a SJW opens their mouth to speak, they should get punched in the face. This could result in world peace.
As i grow older my hate for crowds starts to over take my love for live music. I don’t look forward to the day this is complete.
r/showerthoughts is just the PG version of r/hitsblunt
Dogs would be so happy if they knew we were sharing pictures and videos of them with strangers around the world, and those strangers are all calling them good boys and girls
You laugh you loss is the American funniest home videos of this generation.
If I walked around carrying a 100 pound weight, people might be impressed. If I gained 100 pounds in body weight, almost nobody would be impressed.
If nobody sorted by "new"' posts with no (1) upvotes would make it to the frontpage.
all the air conditioners in the world should be making the planet cooler but they’re not
the sentences "slim chance" and "fat chance" mean the same thing yet the words slim and fat mean the opposite
Disco, within? I tend to be not.
Imagine how many movies would be ruined if Samuel L Jackson had been part of the #Metoo scandal
Erin and Aaron are pronounced the same way. You just spell it differently based on the gender of the person
If you call someone selfish, it is usually because they are doing something that isn't convenient for you. That in itself is being selfish.
When Fred and George put their names in the Goblet of Fire, it's the only time they see each other old.
In time travel everyone says that one small change could alter the future as we know it. How come nobody thinks a small change they make today can have a big effect?
Viral videos are called viral videos because they spread really fast, like viruses
A shameless plug means something very different to a BDSM-enthusiast.
We have trouble talking to a group of 15 people irl, but I have no problem posting in front of 15 million in a sub.
When Fred and George put their names in the Goblet of Fire and they grow beards, that's the only time they see each other old.
The phrase "I could eat a horse" is so popular but then when we all did eat horses jn Europe everybody freaked out.
The word ‘Mercedes’ has four uses of the letter E that are all pronounced differently
Everything on Reddit is technically a repost.
r/Showerthoughts is a good way to gauge your mood. If you find them annoying you're not ready for the day.
There’s no way I could learn to read from scratch at this point in my life
The word ‘Mercedes’ contains three different pronunciations of the letter E.
People are speaking their new last words until they die.
Am I wet?
Sometimes I’m jealous of European’s ability to travel around with relative ease. Than I realize I’ve only been to 6 of the 50 states.
I envy the people from the time before mobile phones. They never had to worry about them when jumping into pools.
They should make sperm into a multiayer game.
Just something profound I thought just now.
If you give me a full glass and I drink half of it, it's now half empty because I have emptied half of it. If you give me an emty glass and half fill it, it's now half full. Nothing to do with being positive or negative
I wonder if anyone has ever actually just turned on the television when an announcer has said “And if you just tuned in...”
If you have a full glass and I drink half of it, it's now half empty because you have emptied half of it. If you have an emty glass and half fill it, it's now half full. Nothing to do with being positive or negative
Why don’t I ever have to update the App Store app?
Happy moments during the middle of a movie makes me feel so uneasy because I know bad things are going to happen.
aren't toasters just a printer for bread?
What if we are in hell already and when we die we finally go to heaven.
After how many time do you start counting a baby's age by years instead of months?
If you dream about being a super villain and a hero manages to somehow take tou down, is the dream considered a nightmare?
Do you think cavemen had people they considered celebrities?
Going through the spam in my Gmail makes me appreciate Google for saving me from so much bullshit
Why is it that we sometimes say we're "underwhelmed" or "overwhelmed" but never just "whelmed"?
I wonder if tall people buy thigh high boots to wear as knee high boots
How many dyslexic people have been accidentally prescribed corrective lenses?
What if Jesus is a Furry, and the Easter Bunny is his persona?
Is Englebert Humperdinck the father of Benedict Cumberbatch?
After finishing The Wire, I can honestly say fuck n*ggers
I wonder if I were to stop and talk to a stranger as many times as I've stopped to pet a strangers dog how many more friends I would have. Or if everyone did this how many less lonely people there would be.
The autocorrect on my phone makes my texts look like Mad Libs.
Crows are very smart. Do they purposely shit on my car?
Why do washing instructions fade away after washing? Is it because I followed the instructions or not?
a woman should NEVER FART in front of bf on first date
Prior to the invention of video games the phrase “I died like 20 times” would only be the ramblings of a madman.
When I was a child I wanted to do everything, but I couldn't do anything. Now I'm an adult I can do anything, and I want to do nothing.
What if the Yonaguni monument was created by a race of intelligent sea creatures?
How is it that Steven Seagal hasn't been implemented in #metoo movement?
How many times should i have meal to consider myself as a foodie
Does Prince Charles have that song from the Lion King, “I just can’t wait to be king”, perpetually playing in his head?
When kids turn 18 and move out, is that considered retirement for stay at home parents?
Google maps should add the ability to set an alarm that will go off when you need to leave for your destination
The only reason I'm so good at lying to others is because i can't stop lying to myself.
Why isn't it midgette instead of midget?
When prison control panels are broken in shows and stuff, why do all the cell doors always swing open? Did no one think to have the default position be a locked one?
We live in a simulation?
No matter how old I am and tight my joints get, I turn into a kung fu master when I flush a toilet with my foot.
Moving without marking the boxes makes for a horrible Christmas like morning - no idea what’s in the boxes, they aren’t wrapped, and it’s all my old crap
If deadpool was in my heri academia, his quirk would have been having cancer
Voicemail should have an option to re-record messages so that you don’t accidentally make yourself sound like an idiot.
Each night as I lay sleeping and dreaming the world continues humming along. One day I will not wake and the world will continue to hum along.
Why is number pack on a keyboard start bottom left to top right, instead of top left to bottom right. Like how we read?
If there isin't a dildo company that has named one of their products plasdick or something along those lines, I feel like that is a missed oppurtunity
Don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am; my attitude depends on who you are.
The first person to discover that some mammals can be milked looked at a calf suckling and went "mmm I sure would like some of that" and then got handsy with the cow.
Birds actually don’t yell “anyone wanna fuck” but “I’m fucking the best funny fucker” and so do humans too
I'm always "up" when I wake up every morning. :)
There should be a toast that is the opposite of "Cheers!", for when you are drinking because something bad happened.
I didn’t do well in school until a realized learning wasn’t required to get good grades.
It is so underrated that humans are the only species that can sleep straight on its back comfortably.
You can trust the person the most, if you've been in the shower with them...
Someone is the happiest person in the world right now, but knowing that absolutely everyone else is less happy might sadden them.
I can't imagine the nerves of the marketing person tasked with coming up with a super catchy catchphrase for a new hit breakfast cereal's character, who happens to be a talking cartoon tiger. They showed up to the meeting with "They're great."
Running the Wendy’s Twitter must be a great job. Getting paid to screw around on Twitter and everyone loves you for it.
Patriotism without nationalsm is possible.
If you put a 'c' in front of 'hyena' and try to say it, you will do a short Trump impression
The Öresund Bridge is simultaneously the best thing about Denmark and the worst thing about Sweden..
Monuments and statues for Confederate soldiers are just Civil War participation trophies.
You know your brain is ruined when you start to double tap reddit posts
If the happiest person in the world right now knew that absolutely everyone else is less happy than them, it might sadden them.
The "American Dream" is the best publicity ever made
Do the parents of pornstars actually watch their daughter’s porn?
If electronics keep getting smaller and smaller, eventually car batteries will be as big as todays powerbanks and we will buy them at a grocery store.
One-seventh of current EU countries own land in the Americas.
I instantly speak Spanish when someone knocks on a bathroom door while I'm pooping. I always say "occupado" without thinking.
What if pinocchio said, "This statement is false."
“Stowage” sounds like a baby trying to say “storage” and they mean similar things.
If someone were to water down cologne, would it be called semi-cologne?
If swimming is such good exercise then how come whales are so fat?
If you see someone neglect to wash their hands in the restroom, then the next time you see them, it should be socially acceptable for you to refuse to shake their hand.
The fact that humans are the only species that can sleep on its back comfortably is underrated.
If the plural of goose is geese, would the plural of moose be meese?
If they made Yoda: A Star Wars Story, it should start from around the middle of the film. Then the beginning would be played last.
If global warming gets really bad, couldn't we just start a nuclear winter?
Feminazis are just female incels
If you're not singing in the shower, you're thinking of what to put for your next Shower Thought.
Did I turn off the oven?
Why is a building called a building if it’s already built?
If a short person waves at you, is it called a microwave?
My shampoo is giving me dandruff
Did you ever hit your mom or dad accedently and just felt like the worst son/daughter on the whole planet?
"Time thief" is the coolest name for the most boring of crimes.
People laugh, “Dogs are so dumb, they’ll do anything for a treat!” But if you took away my personal access to food and taunted me with some ice cream, I’d be doing tricks too!
Is online shopping a dystopia, or actually a utopia, if we turn shopping malls into trees?
Student load is just government's way of saying: We own your ass.
We should never ever doubt ourselves. If we ourselves don't believe who else is going to believe us.
What if GameStop’s original name was GamesTop, but everyone called it GameStop, so the name was changed? 🤔
Sometimes I Forget How Much Stuff I've Forgotten
What if the sun is just two big planets that hit each other a long time ago
Most "Shower Thoughts" likely aren't had in the shower.
Trump isn’t entirely stupid. He knew better than to insult Eminem after he criticized him in his video.
Taylor Swift sounds like a Amish superhero that can hem your bonnet in a jiffy
By the time I was old enough to have my name and home number be put in the phone book they became obsolete.
What if "Mad Max" and "Waterworld" occur on the same world, and Mad Max's wasteland is the dry land that the people from Waterworld are searching for?
If I die, none of my internet friends will ever know or hear about it.
Popeyes little friend sweet pea must have been a diabetic.
You're probably more likely to judge a person's skin colour if you have a friend with the same name.
The line to the afterlife is more scary to me than actually dying.
Its 2018 and the Internet is just 29 years old. Most people nowadays spend their whole day using the internet. I have no idea what people use to do back then.
If water is wet, does that mean fire is dry?
Shit, Shower, and Shave
Every day I spend on this Earth, I become a bit more convinced that Idiocracy (2006) is a cautionary documentary sent to us from the not-so-distant future, that we all mistook for a comedy.
While Reagan said “Let’s make America great again,” including himself in the process, Trump said “Make America great again,” which is just a command.
If Adam and Eve were created by God and not born out of another human, then did they not have belly buttons?
Forks are just mini pitchforks used to shovel food instead of poop.
There are only TWO ways you can get on people's nerves: having done something you shouldn't have, or not having done something you should have.
How would you know if something you consumed turned your urine yellow?
R.I.P. 2018-2018 in a meme can be funny, but on a headstone it's extremely depressing
A father who gives his son his same name becomes Sr. at the exact same time his son become Jr.
“You’re right” is my favorite phrase to hear, but my least favorite to say.
Thanos was slaying half populations of planets for many years before IW, so after the snap does that mean he halved them again? Brutal.
Every overrated or correct rated movie has been underrated in its life
Time travel would almost always lead to you meeting yourself and then erasing your existence from the timeline you visited.
Where do bald people’s forehead end?
When someone has to say "can I ask you something", they're probably going to ask a question you don't want to be asked.
How come cat babies are called kittens and all the other bigger feline babies are called cubs. No tiger kittens? How about panther kittens?
Groot's real name must be Tree since Thor speaks Groot and still introduces him as Tree in Infinity War
I bet old school gangsters wished remote start was a car option back then
Imagine if we live another life when we sleep, and a dream is just a little part of it that we remember
Pictures of our great relatives are uncommon and irreplaceable. In a few generations, my great great grandkid is gonna say to his friends "check out my great great grandpa's Instagram!"
Since birds are basically modern dinosaurs, prehistoric landscapes must have been covered in giant white poop.
You know you're unpopular when you put people in your contacts only by their first name.
Any current students that want to become teachers will be the first ones to completely understand YouTube autoplay.
The phrase 'apples and oranges' should be used when comparing things with only very basic similarities
Saying “I might bite” rather then “I don’t bite” is more friendly and seductive.
Since Thor speaks Groot in Infinity War, and still introduces him to Cap as Tree, Groot's real name must be Tree
If we have chocolate milk why don’t we have chocolate cheese?
When my mouth is closed are my teeth usually pressed together or open and loose
Japanese people probably use subtitles on American movies because they think Japanese dub of it is really bad and unwatchable.
Will Smith is now the Fresh King
Having a shower is like having a daughter, with time they both get hotter
Browsers of /rising are like the venture capitalists of reddit posts
Chargers for Iphones should be called Apple Juice
I use the winkyface emoji all the time but I can't remember the last time I actually winked at someone.
If Thor speaks Groot in Infinity War and yet still introduces him to Cap as "Tree", is Groot's actual name Tree?
A deer will spend its life in peace and happiness, unaware it should prepare for a war it will never know it had to face.
When i'm left with egg on my face, makes for a nice snack later .
The plural of goose is geese, why is the plural of moose not meese?
If Casey Anthony really didn't murder her child, why is she not advocating for further investigation to find the true killer?
Every time a site needs more information to "enhance security" I assume they just want more personally-identifying data.
Every baby cute thing grows out of cute into ?
Some of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life happened when I got away with something I shouldn’t have, and which would have derailed my life if I hadn’t escaped accountability.
Why would someone record themselves saying "Laurel" ir "Yanny", regardless of what it actually says?
Is “I’m swell” really just short-hand for “I’m so well”?
Why does 10 years ago seem so much closer than 10 years from now?
There should be a TL;DR at the end of anything that's written
I could probably urinate on my face from a standing position if i really tried.
Every time a site needs more information to "enhance security" I assume they just want more data.
Video game reviewers should disclose personal factors that may impact their opinion -- just in case their life is already Dark Souls.
Every time a site needs more information to "enhance security" I assume they just want more personal data.
Every time a site needs more information to "enhance security" I'm pretty sure they just want more personal data.
Do you fold a Snuggie like a blanket or a shirt?
Gas stations should also list the speed of their pumps on the pricing signs
I had a 3some in my dream last night, but I’m not sure my gf was there....oooopppps
I wonder how many journalists, who said it was a dying industry, PC gaming has outlived?
What was named first? The fruit orange or the colour orange?
It's kind of ironic that the people who defend the Confederacy and its movement are the same exact people who demand patriotism and respect for the American flag.
Dog poop on your shoe is a step stool.
I am an RN and I make approximately $112/patient every year on a critical care floor. I just realized Jeff Bezos alone could provide hospital level care for approximately 1.3 Billion people per year at this rate.
Jeff Bezos makes more money in one minute than the average citizen of the usa does in 1 year
When will I ever get a time where someone didn’t post something that I thought before me.
The Bible was the world’s first copypasta
It’s 2018 and I still receive junk mail. What a colossal waste of paper.
Sam-I-Am was an asshole.
I’m thinking most restaurants could get away with being called Something I Would Have Made At Home Anyway.
Candy Crush Saga still makes more than 1 billion per year
Every time you say “I’m sleeping” you are lying
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Ipod?
We really should thank our very ancient ancestors for giving us dogs
This is a long and hard thought on the minds of dogs🤔🤔
Paying for sex is illegal, but you can pay someone to have sex as long as it's on camera.
When skaters at the skatepark tap their board after someone does a sick trick, it’s the equivalent to reddit users giving upvotes.
Constipation is your body hoarding poop.
If your not in a shower is it still a shower thought
I wonder what Ken Bone has been up to lately?
What if there were a mental illness where instead of hallucinating people that aren’t actually there, you never see/know of the existence of a very real individual?
Small chocolate bars are called fun size, even though it's more fun to eat big chocolate bars.
Why are dogs more comfortable on the floor than we are?
The word “alphabet” comes from combining Alpha and Beta (A & B) which are just the first two letters of the alphabet.
Christians stole morality and put a copyright on it.
"Coming last" as a kid means you're bad at something but as an adult it means you're good at something.
The first spacecraft to land humans on the moon was called Apollo 11, even though Apollo is God of the Sun. His twin sister, Artemis, is Goddess of the Moon.
With everything going on in US politics, I think I'm qualified to run for President
When old people tell you "don't get old" they're basically telling you to go kill yourself
It shouldn't be called "shower thoughts" if you can't actually post about thoughts you've had in the shower.
Right now is not only the oldest you've ever been, but also the youngest you'll ever be again.
Theres nothing that costs nothing.