Do Fish's drink? and if yes, salted water?
You’re a swordfish and you successfully impale something. Ok. Now what...?
If a person is born deaf, what language are their thoughts in?
It would be great if at the end of my life if I got shown how many hours I spent doing certain things.
What if NVIDIA purposedly put vulnerabilities in Nintendo Switch Tegra X1 to boost its sales due to piracy
If we can’t see air, can fish see water? And does air look and feel different?
Uber Drinks: like Uber Eats but for alcohol runs.
What if heaven is continuing the life you would've lived had you not died?
Every day brings new things that make me feel more like an idiot.
I don’t know of a gender-neutral term for aunt/uncle or niece/nephew.
Kissing must have been super weird for the first recipient of a kiss. Imagine what he/she would have had to say to convince the other one - "I would like to exchange saliva with you"
The one major drawback to retirement is you never get a day off.
We should demand more from our chocolate.
If albinos are runts of the litter. Does that make white people runts of the human species?
Are valets just the modern equivalent to stable boys?
Years ago it was normal to pay everything by cash but nowadays I view businesses that only accept cash with suspicion
People only respond to posts in this subreddit when they want to argue with them.
If there is no accounting for taste and it is entirely subjective, how can there be contests for the r best chef?
its only gay if you don't say no homo
Who called it a vet and not a dogtor
DR.Gero accidentally saved the Multiverse and Goku by creating Android 17
"I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong." And "I'm sorry for what I did wrong" are not the same.
The majority of people probably don’t even think of these while in the shower
What If every person sees every colour differently, yet we all call them the same?
The first person to convert noises into words must’ve confused a lot of people
90% of thoughts concocted in the shower seem to be shallower than the water therein.
The "Shh bby, is okay" meme takes a horrific turn when you imagine Chris Benoit saying it
Ironically, Ashkenazi has the word 'Nazi' at the end.
Is Annie ok?
People who call others "cheap" are often times are wealthier than the other person
It's weird that people repeat the myth that toilets drain the other way in in the southern hemisphere, but never mention real stuff like the sun and moon moving anticlockwise, or the moon looking upside down.
We all call them "Q-tips" when actually they're called cotton swabs, Q-tips is the brand name.
Why is two weeks notice a thing? Companies dont give 2 weeks notice prior to firing someone...
Firemen are called firemen but use water
A Mosquito's sting is an act of reproduction, so if one stings me and I don't consent is that rape?
Popeye had muscles but it wasn't from spinach.
It’s amazing ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ even existed before 2003 when camera phones become widely available.
There should be a 5-second rule for stupid comments. If you take it back within 5 seconds of saying it, you should be allowed to pretend it never happened.
People laugh at these who believe in aliens when it's completely acceptable to believe in God although nor of these has been proved to actually exist
Listening to people for more than 5 minutes non stop drives us crazy but we find watching Vlogs on YouTube just fine
Milk is just a fancy name for nipple juice.
In Australia, the Stranger Things ‘Upside Down’ is just regular right side up.
A millennial will become president one day
If i were a landlord and a potential tenant had bad credit and good verifiable landlord references, I would rent to that tenant. To me that says I will pay my landlord before i pay creditors.
Rather than having names like Neo and Trinity and Cipher, if The Matrix was made today they'd have names like xX420BudLover69Xx, PM_ME_YOUR_TIDDIES_GIRL, and AnalPotato.
What if a kid showed up at his make-a-wish and wished for not dying.
Turning on the screen protector mode (high sensitivity) on the Galaxy S9 goes from "Just press a little harder" to "dont breathe towards my screen please, I'm reading something"
Greeting Cards were the original memes.
If Reddit were a university, there would be a lot of people expelled for plagiarism.
Mostly all “shower thoughts” are never thought of in the shower
Choosing your starter pokemon is choosing the difficulty of the game, fire is easy, water is medium, grass is hard
Dogs could know everything about the universe and never be able to communitcate it.
People only respond to Showerthoughts posts when they want to argue with them.
Tony Hawk can do a 900 on a skateboard but he can never name his son Michael
YouTube is getting more popular than movie series and TV because real life is more exciting than fiction right now!
Hold off means the same thing as hold on
MTV should do a follow up show to my super sweet 16 called mid 20 something pieces of shit.
Prostitution is illegal.....unless its video taped and uploaded to the internet.
An english speaking time traveller from 100 years ago would have to relearn english if they arrived to today
Thousands of people may feel like yawning after reading this, thanks to the power of the internet
Online stores should have an "email cart" function to a friend or SO so they can veto your late-night impulse Prime sprees or future work clothes.
Is there a candle in the scent of a blown out candle? Because I like that smell better than any of the other ones lol
Do dogs actually enjoy playing fetch, or do they just do it because they think we like it?
My dog probably thinks I go to parks and the beach every day since I never bring him to work. I feel guilty that he doesn't understand how this house with its fancy gadgets exists.
If I keep getting asked if I’m okay when I’m in a perfectly good mood, I’ll start getting depressed
If I only fill my gas tank up half way, my engine won't have to cart around half a tank of gas that does nothing.
What if time slows down at really high speed because of lag in the computer simulation we live in?
Thanks to Pat Benatar, the phrase 'Hit me with your best shot' can in no way be used effectively in the build-up to any reputable fist fight.
What's the point of telling someone how you feel when everyone is just waiting for their turn to talk?
I wonder how much collective time a bird has been exactly above me in my life
Dusty Rhodes could barely talk, and he's one of the greatest public speakers I've ever seen.
I wonder how fast society would fall apart if sugar got you drunk
My car keys have traveled more than my car
I'm colorblind. So I've never actually seen what color my own eyes or hair truly are in a mirror or photo.
We should be able to verify UFO sightings through satellite images.
Letting flow a volimunous stream. Then you fart and lose pressure. Really makes me realize how full of hot air we can be.
Is a rehearsed fight scene acting or performing?
Thanks to the internet porn, I’ve probably seen more adult private parts in my lifetime than the combined total of all of my ancestors combined for the last 500 years...
Some apps sync to your contacts to connect with your friends on the app. Tinder should be able to sync your contacts to immediately block all those people on the app
If you ever think life is too short, you should try watching the film Memento with my mother.
Its always bothered me that Drew Barrymore didn’t try and pull an all-nighter in 50 First Dates.
When people say, I want these last 3 hours to pass as soon as possible. It'll still take 3 hours to pass!
Isn't Upskirting magnified form of sexual harrassment?
If the best go first, what about early ejaculators ?
Do twins have the same size dick?
Movies have taught me there is no concrete evidence whether or not we can teach an old dog new tricks
What if when we get goosebumps, it’s really Braille for “I’m scared”
I just realized that I’ve finally used every button on a calculator for an intended reason. As a child, you look at all these buttons, only recognize the numbers, and think “I’ll never use these”.
It's always disappointing how long a container of floss lasts me
A container of floss always seems to last longer than it should
How would Jesus walk on a storming sea?
I want David Attenborough to live forever
Does Benihana HI still do the volcano?
Who was the first to associate green with "right" and red with "wrong"?
Entire civilizations of microscopic organisms live, eat, drink, and finally die in massive chemical apocalypses just so I can drink beer. I think I might be a god.
At the Women’s World Cup, the camera should single out attractive international MEN in the stands.
If God eliminated evil beings during the flood, why didn't he get rid of Mosquitoes?
I've never wiped my arse with my other hand.
Cartoons led me to believe skunks we’re going to be a much bigger issue in my life than they really are.
I wonder if future parents will teach their children about enduring online gaming shit-talking
How much of what we take as 100% fact will be debunked by our future scientists?
I would fuck, marry, and kill myself.
Free wifi really means nothing to you if you have unlimited data.
If we're living in a simulation I hope the devs let the players transfer us characters to the sequel
I just realized that the game ‘TAG’ stands for Touch And Go.
Dogs love us so much because over generations we systematically killed all their children who didn't love us enough.
If god kills a kitten every time someone masturbates, cats would have gone extinct long ago.
12 to 15 passenger vans automatically make me think "Next!"
A roll-on is just a bigger ballpoint pen. After showering you basically write in your armpits.
for the person with the most subscribers in the world, i see surprisingly little of his videos trending
its never good for a woman to poo at a hot guts place on the first date
Bi-weekly means both twice a week and once every two weeks.
Isn’t it weird how everyone just stopped wearing brown?
Ouchies, this water's too hot. I should turn it a bit cold- too cold, too cold. Just a liiiitle bit warmer, there we go. Perfect.
Everyone's home town has the best food and the worst traffic.
The fact that imperial units still aren't forgotten shows how much USA influence the world.
The only way to make racism wrong again is to ignore it
for the most famous youtuber, i see suprisingly little pewdiepie videos on the trending page
men should never let a woman poop at his place on the first date
its never ok for a woman to poo at a hot guts place on the first date
If a really fat person falls to the ground and causes seismic activity, it should be called a girthquake.
Cancers only aim is to survive and multiples to do so yet this destroys the one thing keeping it alive, the sufferer.
If you actually shot fish in a barrel you'd be a "school shooter"
Barbara Walters might die in the year 2020
Thet best thing about youtube ads is skipping them before you learn what they're for.
They should put sunscreen in soap.
When fighting with a sibling, if you don’t ever hear them call you adopted at least once in your childhood, you’re probably adopted.
Road trips are the best example of "it's not about the destination, it's about the journey".
How do people speak mandarin? Isn't it a fruit?
Saying, "Yeah I'm down for that!" and "Yeah I'm up for that!", mean exactly the same thing while they logically imply the opposite of one another
Is Community exist in a 4-Dimensional Spectrum?
Posts on r/nonono and r/nonononoyes have spoilers in their sub name
How come we’re the only species that have to wipe their ass
Taking my glasses off reduces reality to 144p
The fastest way to know how many people are using your Netflix account is by changing the password. You'll get texts from people who haven't talked to you in years within hours.
If I were a cow I'd have tits where my dick should be
One day someone will be on an "I am a celebrity" show because of a meme
Don't forget to drink water and get sunlight,because you're basically a house plant with more complicated emotions.
Thanks to the internet, I have probably seen more naked ladies than all of my ancestors combined
Treating someone like a god is often ignoring them, atleast until you need something from them
Thinking of the best lover you've ever had, do you wonder who their best lover is...
Cancer in its attempt to survive multiplies uncontrollably yet this kills the one thing keeping it alive; the sufferer
What if flies are actually just adrenaline junkies who get a buzz every time they avoid getting swatted?
It always surprises me that humans became the clear dominate species on Earth considering we are much weaker, slower, and less athletic than a lot of other species.
I just realized I never use my phone or computer in my dreams.. I guess there is no need, right?
Can't we all agree plastic ice cream scooters should be outlawed?
Why can’t potato chip companies make smaller bags rather than larger bags of air and small amounts of chips?
Due to hard water (limescale), the pot should be calling the kettle white
Not sure If I let a fly in the fridge would it be thankful for the food or irritated by the cold.
Nothing changes my level of alertness like seeing a mosquito in my room.
What if their is an alternate universe where instead of showing boob cleavage, the trend is to show butt cleavage.
Sign language should be taught as a universal second language so everyone, regardless of nationality, can communicate.
What if Groot and Hodor hung out?
If there is ever a question of the constitutionality of the Supreme Court, does it go before the Supreme Court?
Most people consider themselves tolerant, open to suggestion, and willing to change, but just ask them how toilet paper rolls should be replaced.
How do insurance companies stay in business in Metropolis and Gotham City?
I wonder if a caveman could tell the difference between 1080p and 4K
When I’m feeling lazy and don’t want to bother looking good at work, I throw on a dress and end up looking better than usual at work.
If you were to wear a set of goggles that would constantly be filled with tears, would you never have to blink?
If I think I know, I probably don't, but how do I know that?
Considering how much I use a smartphone I dont think I ever dreamt of using one.
I’ve never had a dream we’re I had my phone in my hand.
More people are dying their hair blonde to fit in, in our current culture. I am sad.
As much as I use my smartphone, why have I never seen it in one of my dreams?
Do dyslexic people look at capslocks as slapcocks?
One time when I was little, I was younger.
As much as I've used my smartphone i dont think ive ever seen it in my dreams
As much as we use smartphones, why do they never appear in our dreams?
As much as I use my phone I don’t think I’ve ever seen it in any of my dreams.
As much as I use my smartphone, I don't think I've ever seen it in any of my dreams.
Why don't mosquitos stick to you like leeches do?
As much as I use my smartphone and think its important, I have never seen it in my dreams.
Why don't "they" rename the restroom to juul bar?
I originally found Uncle Rico’s desire to live in the past comical in Napoleon Dynamite, but as I grow older and responsibilities pile on, I totally get it.
If animal rights activists won't wear animal fur, are they also anti-wig?
A healthy relationship should look as much as possible as a TV commercial and as far as possible as a soap opera plot.
If you’re not in a racial minority that often gets pulled over, your first thought when you see them pulling you over is probably, “well, they got me.”
Couldn't you germinate seeds in your mouth?
It's unfortunate that almost all birds really only have their programming, stay in a specific area then migrate to a specific area. Same shit same shit. but I imagine there's one bird out there that's like, fuck it, I've got these wings, I'm bored, I'm going to explore the world.
Michael Jackson was such a good artist, I always forget he touched little boys when I listen to his music.
Restaurants and stores should have lights that change colors when the stores are closed but the employees are still closing up shop, communicating to the customer not to come in but letting the employing still work
Sex is great and all but have you ever broken up Pop-Tarts and eaten them like cereal?
I used to thing “this product not tested on animals” meant it was unsafe to use on animals. Now I realized it was just the company bragging.
I feel like I could probably break a drinking glass with my hand, but I will never find out.
Googled spell corrector is way better then my phones.
I always find it weird yet funny asking a girl for her number at my job in front of their boyfriend to look up their rewards card
I'm glad I wasn't born a tick.
All bathroom handles should have a dye that won’t come of your hands until you’ve thoroughly cleaned them after using the restroom.
As much as I use my smartphone, I don't think I've seen it in any of my dreams.
Farting with diarrhea is like driving a Ferrari, I know its fast, but how fast is safe.
Do Indian people say “oh my Gods?”
When you're given a captcha that only humans can read to confirm that you're human, how does the computer know what you wrote is the correct answer?
If the Earth is flat, is the sun and moon flat?
Even when I was a kid, the little song "One, two, buckle my shoe" must have been about a hundred years outdated.
Being invisible should make you unable to see, as light passes through your eyes
Everyone's talking about gas prices, but I wanna know what the fuck is up with jerky prices
Would people who don't identify with either gender get their own brand of magic in Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardy?
Who named it toilet paper instead of crapkins?
Do British people’s windshield wipers go right to left instead of left to right?
So you know how some animals can’t see all the colors? I wonder what ‘colors’ humans can’t see. There could be whole loads of colors in different wave lengths we can’t see. I think that’s wild
If I was told 20 years ago that people would be walking behind their dog to ziploc-barehand their fresh steamer, I would have laughed.
I've never bought a new lighter and had it until it runs out of fluid.
When a bottle says "Still Water", are they expecting it to change? Will they update the label if it does?
Cats are so distractible. Just shine a red dot on the floor and... wait, did I just get a text message?
Clark Kent and his glasses. Why people don’t recognize him as Superman? Sometimes it keeps me up at night, it’s devastating.
Why does the first 49 dollars of gas take as long to fill up as the last dollar
If we have in laws, who are our outlaws?
Colleges should run on-campus animal shelters where students can check out dogs like library books but for walks and for play. The dogs will have thousands of people who love them and may even adopt them after graduating, and students will be happier and can reduce stress.
Why are there scenes where the flash cooks super fast, bacon still cooks at the same speed no matter how fast the person cooking it is
With all the plastic now in the oceans, I wonder if The Little Mermaid's Sebastian would still be singing "It's better down where it's wetter" in Under the sea.
What if the reason why we are good at things on our first time is because we have practiced them in our dreams a thousand times we just don't remember?
Writing a cover-letter feels like writing a shitty essay regardless of the applicant's eligibility for the position. "This data point totally proves this scarcely-related statement."
Utopia and Dystopia
A great number of glorious showerthoughts are probably lost in between thinking them and getting to a medium to put them into text.
Its raining the whole day. Why can't we flex tape the clouds?
"Suicide" and "nigger" are in an eternal battle for most taboo word to utter out loud.
Why do movies always banish the demons to “hell” by fire?? Wouldn’t that just make them stronger??
what if meteors are spacecrafts from other planets
Writing a cover-letter feels like writing a shitty essay regardless of the applicant's eligibility for the position. It's just like saying that this data point totally proves this scarcely-related statement.
The one phone call you get when you’ve been arrested must be pretty frustrating nowadays, as most people reject unknown numbers thinking they are cold calls.
Since America elected a TV host for president I think we should elect Conan O’Brian as our next president. Oh wait he’s a ginger.
How many people has the water you just took shower in been through!
The future president or prime minister of your nation probably has a steam account, and potentially you’ve assassinated them in PUGB.
A lot of people are going to see this combination of keys I just hit.
Sometimes I feel alone without a mirror.
Since I got a phone, I don't ever read the label of any products in my bathroom...
Do Crabs Think fish Can fly?????
If we found a way to travel back in time, wouldn't we just appear in space?
How do you think a classical muscian would respond to to leaning their music may be used as a notification that your clothes are dry (after learning and understanding what a dryer is)?
Is the future gender queer?
Religious sculptures and paintings were the original fan art
Realized that the water I just took shower in been through a lot of people.
If you went back time, every fraction of a fraction of a second creates I new timeline
I have only ever used the ‘I before E except after C’ rule for the words ‘piece’ and ‘receive’
Water used for drinking or taking bath has been through many people before it reached it's current place.
When people say it’s not their first rodeo I wonder how many rodeos they’ve been in and whether they were the clown or the bull.
People with actual shower thougths are not posting it in here.
What if when Bruce Banner is angry he turns into The Hulk but when he's feeling funny he turns into Shrek.
If people photographed humans as much as they do their pets they’d be arrested for harassment.
I see plenty of amazing sandwiches on here without the proper bread/toasting to match the filling
Essentially we teach our children to call us by a different name all our lives and are offended when they use our real one.
Shower thoughts could potentially be sexual.
I've only got 30 minutes to get to work!...Fuck it this hot water feels so good!
We teach our children to call us by different name all of our lives and are then offended when they use our real one.
The next time someone asks me “If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be”
isn't it strange how we wear footbags to protect our feet from dirt and then wear footbagbags to protect our footbags from dirt
Shower Thoughts
The more we move from physical to digital archiving, the less there will be for archaeologists to dig up about our civilisation in 5,000 years. Do we need to develop digital storage media that can survive thousands of years?
On a microwave entering 120 and 200 us the same thing and I’m not sure which one is “normal”
The person who would proof read Hitlers speeches, was a grammar Nazi.