Cross-Breed a Pink Lady Apple With Honeycrisp to Create an Apple Called Crispy Lady
This sub would be disgusting if it was actually a representative sample of thoughts people had in showers
Anti-depression meds that have "suicide" as a side effect are solving the problem one way or another.
Early entrants into Bitcoin who hold tens of millions in BTC should start companies in 3rd world countries and pay employees in BTC. This would help solidify the adaption of one of the most significant steps in human history while addressing the most basic case for BTC.
If there's 2 for 20, then there should be third wheel for 30...
Why can’t time always go as slow as when I have something in the microwave?
Samuel Clemens would have been incredibly popular on Twitter.
Take a picture with someone and say “I’m gonna post this to Instagram” and they’ll probably be flattered. Take a picture with someone and say “I’m going to put this on my website” and they’ll get creeped out.
What if when you die, you’re able to see your life stats like how many poops you’ve taken and more random things
Pictures in wallets?
We should develop a bed with technology that makes it become cold and uninviting when our alarm goes off so it’s easier to get up.
The people who claim “karma will repay” those who afflict them seem to ignore the fact that the same concept of karma has just applied to them
If people had the ability to effortlessly teleport wherever they wanted to, there would be a lot more obesity in the world.
I dreamt about showers the other night.
"oh yeah? My uncle works for google!" is a lot more believable than all the uncles that never worked for Nintendo.
I need to buy more shampoo.
If you wanted to hide from someone, all you would have to do is move to California and change your name to Maria Lopez. It would take them a lot longer to find you.
We blow on stuff when it's too hot, but we also blow on things when they're too cold
What if time travelers learned their lesson when they killed Franz Ferdinand and that’s why no one killed Hitler.
The only safe place to eat a grapefruit is in the shower.
People who have to censor videos, see the most funny things ever
The [Ai] sound in “my” is just “ah” and “yee” said really fast together
“I” is just “ah” and “yee” said really fast together
If the Space Force becomes a serious thing, they’ll need to add a new side to the pentagon and call it the hexagon.
Maybe time traveler's dont come here because this is the boring part of history
My cell phone bill shouldn’t be more than my car payment
Nobody has intentionally hit me in the nuts in a very long time and I think that's one massively overlooked perk of becoming an adult.
The UK tv show 'Eastenders' is called that because the people starring in it are Eastenders.
The word "research" just sounds way too professional when really all that was done was a quick "google search"
I am a tutor and now that all my students are going back to school it's like my summer is just starting.
The Assless Chap's would be a great name for a band that just wear assless chaps
If you have to say “I’m not a person you wanna fuck with”, you’re probably a person that gets fucked with.
When people forget to flush after leaving a public bathroom stall and you get that stall, you usually flush the toilet. If people are waiting in line, the feeling you get after flushing the toilet before doing your business and while doing your business makes you feel uncomfortable.
The Plain White T‘s literally have the simplest marketing scheme possible, yet they sell shirts with their name/logo
A vegan feminist thinks it’s okay to kill a human zygote(fertilized egg), but wrong to eat eggs
“ah” and “yee” said really fast together pronounces “I”
Maybe the lack of a logical explanation to which came first, the chicken or the egg, is a concrete argument for creationism.
Black people and people from england are the only people who can get away with saying “Knicker”
When I drink water my tongue feels like it’s in a swimming pool
Happy should not be limited to just an hour
Reddit employees shouldn't be able to see NSF
Could we resolve the Catholic priest's crisis by shortening the nun's skirts?
If a guy is gay, it means a girl may have just lost some good dick. But if a girl is a lesbian, that means that some dude may have just lost some good pussy.
Much as people hate The Big Bang Theory, it disproves all those shower thoughts on here saying "a modern FRIENDS-like sitcom would just have everyone on their phones instead of talking to each other" or whatever
Flounder from little mermaid is actually a younger will Smith from fish tales.
Isn’t it weird that we can still imagine the individual voices of people we use to know in our minds even if we might not have spoke to them in years?
If ingesting charcoal makes you vomit , why has it become so popular in foods lately?
Why are they called buildings and not buildeds?
My future wife is somewhere in the world right now, doing something at this very moment and I don't have a clue who and where she is.
If the Space Force is formed, they will have to add another side to Pentagon and call it the Hexagon
A shower is like a car wash, but for humans.
Many last names today come from jobs (like Smith, Miller, Tailor, etc), so in the future we might have people with last names like Web Designer or Programmer
There is no part of "Humpty Dumpty" that suggests he was an egg.
People often confuse "cool under pressure" with "I don't give a fuck if this fails"
If someone is hotter than you, that just means you are cooler than them.
My girl said to me “let’s chill by the fire tn” and I thought......how can you chill by a fire
According to Hollywood, the Apocalypse in America and everyday life in the Middle East are essentially the same thing.
If heaven is real, it’s probably extremely racist
The relationship between shampoo and conditioner (and their state of fullness) really demonstrates how daily differences can really add up.
Pokemon can be spelled as "poke em on" and you would be still right, couse you poke em all the time, just to get next level
A lethal dose of anything is a lifetime supply
My local newspaper could be doing stories about me every day and I would have no idea.
Is it possible for Frozone to catch a cold?
Is someone who used to sit at your cubicle you deskimo brother/sister?
Drivers with a "baby on board" sticker without a baby in the car should also have a "liar on board" sticker.
Everyone thanks the bus driver, but who does the bus driver thank?
When I was young, I used to wonder if I'd ever figure out how to talk to girls. Now I'm worried if women will learn how to talk to men.
When we say something tastes chemically we really mean it taste like cleaning product. Technically everything taste like chemicals.
The majority of redditors ignore new/upvoteless reddit posts because "they aren't popular", yet reddit posts become popular because redditors interact with them.
Sesame Street is if soap operas for kids
The majority of Redditors ignore upvoteless posts because they aren't popular, yet these posts become popular because Redditors interact with them.
Raspberry Pi 3 should have just been called "The Pi3"
Is someone who used to sit in my cubicle my deskimo brother/sister?
What if your reflection in the mirror is the only thing stopping you from entering an alternate universe?
Have you ever thought that maybe the reason some people don't have children is because they are worried about how much of a disappointment they, as a parent, would be to their kid?
We all blame the dryer for loosing our socks but what if it was washing machine all along?
Reddit upvotes, are we fulfilling a Black Mirror prophecy?
In winter (where I live) a refrigerator is more of a heater than a cooler
Dogs destroy shoes because we put them before leaving them.
Somebody writing a biography about you is the real life equivalent of a repost
Literally a shower thought
How come whenever someone talks about the traffic on the radio, it sounds like they’re talking a mile per minute
Aren't bowling balls technically gloves?
Why are crime stories always "ripped" from the headlines? Why can't they just be cut out with scissors and pasted neatly in a scrapbook?
If i want to have early access to front page content, all i have to do is open up the imgur app.
Idk what it is, but it is very easy for me to imagine Jimmy Kimmel drinking coffee and reading the newspaper in the mornings.
They say nothing is impossible, but i do nothing every day
Ever played tag? You might still be "it". How many of us don't know that we're "it"?
I doubt fish ever get thirsty
Because of camera technology I think of the 80's as grainy colours, and the start 1900 as black and white
I want to see the ISS send a ball in to orbit and then an astronaut catch it on a space walk a few days later.
Penis size should be measured in volume instead of length. NSFW
Whoever wrote the jingle for 1-877-Kars4Kids should get whatever the opposite of the Nobel peace prize is.
If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
The ultimate goal in cutting my hair at home is to make it look like I didn't cut it at home
Forever thankful that I have functioning liver and kidneys so I don’t have to buy detox products like others do
Joe's Crab Shack is basically T.G.I. Fridays, but they serve seafood instead.
Let me ruin something for you...You know you came into this world because your parents had sex...
"Beggers cant be choosers" but what if u choose to be a begger? Hmmmm
What song from your childhood do you occasionally catch yourself singing?
How on EARTH is a Chihuahua even considered the same species as a Siberian Husky?
Do birds have air traffic controllers?
People who are against abortion should be against male masturbation as well because technically the male sperm is living.
You can switch the last two letters in the word “Lazy” and it will still sound the same.
Netflix Originals are today’s equivalent of direct-to-dvd movies
Doug could've got of the roof from the hangover himself.
If California splits into 3 states, the person who has to redesign the US flag is going to have a tough time.
When people die, we're not afraid for them. So why are we afraid of dying?
We need to appreciate that the Day/Night Cycle takes 24 hours and our optimal sleeping time of 8 hours fits almost perfectly into the cycle.
What if all vampires are ugly like Nosferatu but have mastered makeup techniques?
Jack Dorsey probably created Twitter only because he knew how highly detestable most artists and celebrities were and simply wanted to share with everyone.
Who is Minton and why is he bad?
I would have enslaved the Jedi, and used their levitation powers for manufacturing...
A pizza is a fatty acid.
Audio speakers should be made to go only as loud as the speaker can handle without blowing.
What if men walked around clubs dropping colorless electrolyte tablets in women’s drinks to help them stay hydrated instead of roofies
Dogs the world around seem to understand each other quite well. Their barking appears to be a more efficient semantical device than human speech.
If California splits into 3 states, I don't envy the person who has to redesign the American flag.
I remember when Cosplay was called Halloween
If you want to lose faith in humanity look at Twitter. If you want to keep faith in humanity look around you.
r/Space during the space race.
We will never invent the time travel because there is no one coming here from the future.
If God created humans in his image. And if humans were to become extinct. Do you think AI will one day contemplate their existence by telling other AI “we were created in God’s image”
What's the word?
Cancer is when a mutation goes wrong, and evolution is when a mutation goes right.
Is Dog-speak a Universal Language?
Dogs and cats are created by the government to keep an eye on us
The fact that everyone on reddit claims to not have sex makes sense because everyone's a bot except you
A lawsuit can be called a suit, and it can be called a case, but not a suitcase.
If the song is called Seven Nation Army, does that mean that antarctica has an army aswell?
If you can point out the best liar in your friend group, they're probably not the best.
Only posts with more than 20 but less than 50 upvotes truly belong on r/mildlyinteresting
Since I experimentally shaved my butt cheeks, every fart feels dangerously similar to a shart.
I wish there were a 'cat mode' shortcut for my laptop that would instantly disable the keyboard and trackpad until the coast is clear
YouTube should notify you if you open the app while using mobile data
If people with glasses are called four eyes, people with crutches can be called four legs.
Why, if you are home alone, do you still lock yourself on the toilet?
What if we have it all wrong and people with schizophrenia can actually see/hear more than the reality our feeble brains allow us? Are they at a heightened state of consciousness?
Imagine how much more difficult life would be abroad if there were different characters for numbers.
We are against assisted suicide in humans, but are okay with putting our pets down when they are in too much pain.
It's fine for chicks to take pictures and shame guys with their asses hanging out, but when I try to sneak a pic of a gorgeous lady's ass I end up with a black eye and/or permanent record
As a child my nose worked fine. As an adult, I have one good nostril and one bad and it changes randomly
If you have a “Dad bod”, you should qualify for a Father’s Day gift
If you're gay, does that make you immune to the Siren's song?
When people “I did it for the lols” what they are really saying is they did it for the Lucifer our lord.
"I hope you die of old age," sounds threatening, but is really one of the nicest things you can say to someone.
S.O.B.'s meaning should change to Spawn Of B*tch, making it gender-neutral.
If there are watermelons... Can there be firemelons, airmelons, and earthmelons too?
If I was a car I'd be a BMW, an E36 specifically because everything that is supposed to break down at my age is broken.
When our parents said "I'll tell you when you're older" what they really meant was "forget about it"
Solipsists should be able to claim their birthday as a religious holiday.
Kisses are really quiet I seriously don't get why porn has kissing so loud.
They say "if you can smell yourself, other people have been smelling you for days." Someone should invent an app that tells you you stink before it's too late.
Does Google really load 33 million results in .27 seconds, or does it just say that because it knows we're probably not going to look past the second page?
Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting. Except me.
If poison is out of date, is it more or less poisonous ?
Can you imagine if our fart gas was not colorless?
Does the bird in front of the formation really know what they’re doing, or are they like “why are all these a-h***s following me?”
Why is peoples ass considered ‘clean enough’ after wiping shit off with only toilette paper but any other body part it would be considered dirty?
Music streaming/playing services should have a timer option so it plays a song/playlist that will end when you reach your destination or finish your activity
If only we could pause good dreams when we wake up and resume them when we next go to sleep?
I wasn't Kung Fu Fighting.
I am addicted to water. I litereally bathe in water every day.
Can deaf person hear the voice in their head?
The last thing I want to do with my cellphone is talk to someone.
I wish I could sleep while walking
Learning that coffee stimulates your body to burn the last of your energy instead of creating energy, ruined the placebo effect and replaced it with the opposite placebo because I'm thinking about how little energy left before the coffee
Can you really be stuck in traffic if you ARE the traffic?
I wonder how many companies are taking advantage of GDPR by sending opt in emails to people who never subscribed to their site in the first place.
I often wonder if I'll ever be able to properly care for a child, given my history of not being able to keep my Tamagotchi alive.
Corn dogs should have jokes on their sticks, like popsicles.
If I were to piss ON someone, it would then also piss them OFF
Do anti-vaxxers refuse to vaccinate their pets too?
I dont give a fuck
You can say "Suck my dick!" To someone you hate, and someone you love.
As an NYC resident, I’m frequently undertones Square, but am never in it.
What if frustum culling from video game development exists for reality as well and only the things we can perceive at the moment exist for us and the rest of reality renders again once we reach out to perceive new things?
The scariest thing about if Heaven and Hell are real is that if I went to Heaven I'm pretty sure most of my family and friends would not which would force me to make new friends and that sounds a lot like Hell to me
If you dream in a dream, what would your dreams dream about?
I really wish my dog and I could experience music the same way.
What if we renamed ICE 'Planned Citizenship' and then change deportations to 'aborted naturalizations?'
When I was young, I always thought there would be homeless people trying to clean my car windows at every gas station and intersection once I got older.
Why did they use frog DNA to clone the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park? Wouldn't it make more sense to use bird DNA?
They Should Turn The Rings of Saturn Into a Record and See if it Plays Anything.
How did the people who created the first clock know what time it was??
A real Smart TV would automatically increase the volume when I start eating chips.
Are gay people grossed out by straight relationships?
How much I like my underwear is in direct proportion with how well the elastic works.
Getting sunburnt on your belly rolls is the opposite of spray tan abs.
Some christians believe in dinosaurs and some dont
Toasters should have a delay function where it starts cooking one slice of bread first then starts on the other. So that the piece of toast you butter second doesn’t get cold waiting for you.
When someone says great grandfather.. do they mean their grandfather was great.. or the grandfather of their father?
Why?
Just like math and English, critical thinking should be taught with increasing complexity at every level of school from K-12. It makes no sense that most students receive zero exposure to this very vital skill until they are an adult in college with their brain already mostly developed.
We mostly go to /r/photoshopbattles to see that our expected ideas should be on there.
If decimals can get infinitely smaller, with an infinite amount of zeros, then how does one second pass?
The concept of waterboarding probably originated as a shower thought.
"Did I take my phone out of my pocket?" is a question that's way better to ask yourself before you've built up speed to jump into the swimming pool.
Switching to liquid soap from soap bars in showers would see a big decline in rape cases in prisons
Why is there a condom machine in Tesco’s toilets?
You can make your house smell like a mall by baking pizza and cinnamon rolls one after the other, then spraying the right amount of perfume & cologne
Why do people blame politicians for their own failure?
How many of the /r/showerthoughts are actually shower thoughts
White people aren't actually white, just like black people aren't black. We all share colors except the one color that we reflect, which divides us. We are more alike than we think
Phones should listen for situations where 911 should be called but isn’t, then call it automatically, stuff like repeated cries for help etc
Most “ugly” Christmas sweaters aren’t ugly.
Prisons would probably see a huge decline in rape numbers if they started using liquid soap in the showers
Women’s jewelry could be super expensive or super cheap and you could never tell the difference.
If you run with a flashlight is the light coming out of the flashlight faster than the speed of light?
Dreamworks should remaster movies like Ice Age and Shrek
Is a five pronged fork called a "fivek"?
The person who would proofread Hitler's speeches was actually a grammar Nazi
Prison rapists must really hate the inmates who use liquid soap instead of a bar soap
Why do people cover their laptop camera and then carry a smart phone with multiple cameras and gps?
If conditioner is for getting knots out of hair, then why can't I use it to get knots out of my shoe?
A shower is a chicken tender
As a European there’s nothing more infuriating than hearing an American say “soccer”
People that post Showerthoughts that have "smart people usually do ____" as the title are probably humble bragging
Online I can track my pizza, package, food delivery, but I can’t track when the cable person is arriving.
How many celebrities have i killed playing Xbox live/computer games over that last 15ish years.
If aliens did exist, would they even want to deal with us?
The Galactic Empire made a space station over 100km in diameter that could destroy a planet and I can't put together a table from IKEA
Google and Microsoft continually begging for my phone number at every login is like a co-worker asking a girl out multiple times a week even after she has told him "No!"
I like how passive aggressive statements always start with I like how
If you have a fake ID with your real details on is it still fake?
What if all UFO sightings are time travelling humans from the future who don't want to fuck up history.
Aren’t movies actually always 3D, since time is a dimension too?
If a company uses an animal for their logo or mascot, they should have to pay money for that species care and conservation
Do girls settle for uglier guys more often than guys settle for uglier girls?
There should be a standardized time and use for flare rockets so that satellites can do an automatic search regularly
What if there was a "Ice Bum Challenge"? Where you slide 2 ice cubes in your ass and see how long you can hold it in while your bum is freezing!!!!😀
Someone should start a new challenge that goes viral... "The Ice Bum" you slide 2 ice cubes into your ass, and see how long you can hold it in!!! 😀
If we assume that the universe appeared ~13bn years ago there should be some point when life was taking place only in one galaxy, one star system, on one planet. It still could be us, who knows.
It’s really easy for me to forget how big space is until I hear thinks like, “The Milky Way is ONLY about 100,000 light years long.”
The phrase "I don't speak English" actually confirms that the speaker does speak English.
What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 yrs to kill us?
I just realised the villain in the movie “Scream” modelled his mask on Edvard Munich’s “The Scream”
When talking about the plural, is it computer mice or computer mouses?
Why are humans the only species expected to care about every other member of its species?
If Cinderella’s shoe fit so perfectly, then why did it fall off?
The phrase “Don’t tell me what to do” is a way of telling someone what to do.
If I lived everyday like it was my last I would never sleep because I wouldn't sleep on my last day.
The only time I don't crave something sweet after eating something sour and vice versa is after I eat sweet and sour chicken
I see a correlation between weird ancient carvings that look like "Aliens", and people going back and trying to play a playstation 1 game... It probably seemed SO realistic at the time.
You should probably run an anti-virus scan
As I was hitting my head with my hand to knock the water out of my ear, I realized how the ketchup bottle must feel.
The phrase don’t tell me what to do, is telling someone what to do.
As a guy, i have more chance of Taylor Swift writing a song about me than Ed Sheeran writing a song about me.
Sex talk from my 60-year-old wife: Not now, I have french fries sitting in my gut.
If someone travels at 95% the speed of light and drops something to eat, they actually have 6.66 seconds instead of 5 seconds to pick it up before it gets infected with bacteria due to einsteins special relativity theory. Thank me later.