If Goo Gone is so good for removing adhesives, I wonder what they use for the seal under the cap.
My 2012 car is starting to fall apart, but usps has been driving the same trucks for 30 years.
Learn and appreciate human body in Reddit more than ever been in real life.
Does Dora really Explore?
The fact that you cant lick your elbow is the best example that somethings in life may seem very close to us but is still beyond our reach
Being fit should be a requirement for Police and they should get 1 hour of paid exercise time at the end of every shift.
Racism doesn't seem to apply to porn
Everyday someone has the world record for taking the largest poop.
If we were really in the Matrix then Psychedelic Drugs are the Easter Eggs in this game that we play called Life.
A modern day adaptation of Back To the Future would probably feature a broke millennial who finds a baby boomer to take him back in time to buy bitcoins.
Quarters are the only american currency used as a unit of measure in other contexts.
What if most cars that "cut you off" without signaling just have burnt out turn signals
If hair washes itself after not being washed for a while, why was shampoo invented?
Pretty much all shower thoughts are also high thoughts.
Redheads are the equivalent to shiny pokemon
They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes for approximately 7 seconds. What if this life is your 7 seconds?
With many Brits voting for Brexit wanting to change their vote, referendums should be made best of three.
My Left Nut Has More Than 10^24 Atoms in Total
Everyday someone posts the dumbest shower thought of the day and doesn’t know it!
Eminem’s real name is Marshall Mathers so his initials are M and M.
I really appreciate the people on Reddit who don’t post or comment for upvotes = acceptance/popularity.
Who eats the food that is prepared in a buzzfeed tasty video?
untappd just allows me to identify friends i think are alcoholics
Saying what your favourite episode is in a season gets you +votes, while saying what your least favourite is gets -votes, even though having a fave implies you’ve got a least fave, and vis versa.
Is there any online service that lock user uploaded files for a period of time?
Why pay a 1$ for a bookmark, when you could use the $1 for a bookmark.
The time machine hasn't been seen yet because if it goes back in time, the guy who invented it won't invent it cause it'll "get invented eventually."
If someone was giving mouth-to-mouth, but the victim died anyway without saying “no homo,” do they go to hell?
The middle of a lake or river will probably be the best place to find skimming stones
Quarters are the only American currency used as a unit of measure in other contexts.
What if the reason I can’t find love is because I never forwarded those email and facebook chain messages and I’m finally paying the price.
Why are convertibles usually more expensive than normals cars, when there is less material being used to make it?
Doors and windows are just openable holes.
We get on a bus but get in a car, when we are both just using a means of transport.
Imagine in 100 years millenniums come paining about centinials
I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.
Eatting "eat" is awesome, but if someone sold me food I cooked at home I'd probably love it.
You never really see old people with acne, which is good because zits would be really hard to pop on wrinkly skin.
I bet the most fervent of flat earthers are really just trying to get a free ride into space from someone who is sick of their bullshit.
I’ll Show You How To Create Quick & Easy Fat Burning Recipes That Will Taste Just Like Your Favorite Meals
The sub-reddit r/pirates should actually be called r/
The characters from that 70’s show are the baby boomers who ruined everything for the current generation.
Everybody says "Despacito 2" but did nobody think about 2pacito or Despaci2?
Hot dogs are just American tacos
I wonder if the guy who coined the phrase “one hit wonder” came up with any other popular phrases
If we have eating contests, then why don’t we have shitting contests?
In 51 years, the date will be 6/9/69. Will there be a baby boom 9 and half months later?
It’s useless to call someone “responsible” or “irresponsible,” because we’re all responsible for everything that happens in this world. It’s just that some of us decide to take ownership over the responsibility whereas others don’t.
The saying "Three strikes, you're out" is just a more forgiving version of "Fool me twice, shame on me."
If Reddit loaded posts a little slower, my shits would be a lot shorter.
Cremation is my last chance for a smoking hot body
Do you suppose public literacy education was opposed by scribes because it would result in the destruction of their industry?
Yawning is really fucking weird, and the fact it is contagious is even weirder. I find is strange that people aren't freaked out by.
The 4th of July is the only time of the year where I could mow my lawn at 10:00PM and no one would care.
Why?
Everyone is bent out of shape about Kat Von D being an anti vaxxer. I’m just wondering if her next offensive named red shade will be unprevented measles.
I'm surprised they haven't invented gluten free fireworks.
I NEVER consented to be born. It's "My body my choice" right? There's pro-life, pro-choice, where's pro-unborn?
Ironically, “Am I going insane?” is one the most sane thoughts you can have
There should be something that is an anti oven because like a freezer will just make it cold but it will still be cooked
Dr. Dre discovered dozens of artists, but who discovered Dr. Dre?
Michael Cera should have been in the movie "Zombieland", and Jessie Eisenburg should have been in the movie "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World".
Because of leap-years we are one day older for every leap-year we have lived through. If I were 365 years old I'd actually be 366.
If a false deity were to come out from the universe and reveal itself to humanity, we might not be able to tell if its a false diety
Would you rather have your parents see you naked or a complete stranger?
One of the current trends is troubled adults giving up inference and moving back with their parents. On this 4th of July, perhaps we should think about it.
Snapchat should include a NSFW option/warning that can be added to snaps before opening.
If dimension hopping was possible, would the choice to hop actually create 2 Extra dimensions for the dimension he hopped to but also the dimensions he chose to stay in?
Are brownies also chocolate cake?
Would life be better if men just had one big testicle?
Are there men who think they're too cool or manly for things like drink lids or straws?
I wonder if male pet dogs deep down feel like a failure because they never got to be the alpha of their pack.
How do I know you're real
When I was a kid, a "hairy chest" was an insult. As an adult, not having the ability to grow hair on my chest, is insulting.
I am naked inside my clothes...
How many people am I made out of
Are most animal based superheroes not just cool furries?
What if the items that disappeared when dropped and were never found again, really just fell into the next dimensional space where we can't see them, in the same way that 2D figures can't always see 3D figures?
Most swear words (fuck, bitch, shit, damn) are both verbs and nouns so you can use them in any sentence
when you get mad that there’s an ad on a YouTube video, you’re really getting mad at the fact that someone is trying to make a living
The one thing that keeps me going is the fact that as long as i struggle through all the bullshit in life i'll be rewarded with good things every now and then.
How many generation will it take for someone to completely forget about you when you die?
If I feel an object inside my eye, what sense am I using?
What if rocks are soft until someone touches them.
Scooby Doo teaches us that the monsters we should really be scared of are people. [Sad]
I don't wear clothing with visible Brands because I think they should pay me for advertising their clothing.
I wonder why Killeen, Texas needs 200+ plus car washes in a 54 sq mile radius.
Are flowers just too lazy to become trees?
A Congress critter might say " We'll fight this thing tooth and nail. " Even though it the ultimately the same, you won't hear them say " Ooh, I'll bite you and scratch you. "
I have this fear that next moment I will wake up ten years later with amnesia, beside my wife and kids, who I see for the first time.
The Syrian civil war has claimed half a million casualties since 2011. World War 2 suffered 60 million at least. Meaning the Syrian war would have to continue with a loss of 500,000 people a year for 120 years to match the death toll of WW2.
We should all be happy that we don't have itches on the inside
Everyone should get a haircut before making any potentially life changing decision so that they can really think over it
The conventional wisdom of "Don't invade Russia in the winter" is wrong. Hitler and Napolean invaded in the summer and got bogged down till winter. The Mongols invaded in the winter and won.
In most cases of “Go Hard or Go Home”, I’d honestly rather just go home.
The Sons of Anarchy MC must have been sweating 24/7 wearing full leather and jeans in the California sun.
ingenuity is being smart, and genuity is to be genuine, so is someone smart not genuine due to in- meaning not?
How do you tell the difference between an employee’s Enterprise Rent-a-Car car and a customer’s Enterprise Rent-a-Car car?
The most exciting event in baseball is a perfect game. It’s also basically just two guys having a catch.
Should it not be 50-50?
If the left 4 dead smoker is caused by someone who smoked and got cancer, would smokers who vaped be flavored?
Imagine all the great comments that were never appreciated due to shitty/unappreciated/downvoted posts
it would be weird if web pages could me doublesided
If I was homeless I'd live near baggage claim at the airport
When my cat repeatedly jumps on the counter while I'm preparing dinner, it's sort of like a video game where I'm the boss monster guarding the food, and my cat is just redoing the level every time I push him off.
We should change the name butter to popcorn sauce.
Since petroleum, which comes from plant and marine fossils, is the primary ingredient in plastics, plastic plants aren't fake--they've just evolved.
If there is another civilization in the universe that is biologically identical to humanity, would they be considered aliens?
Red is the only color that has a special name for its lighter color.
Is Rain Actually falling or are we going towards the rain?
A fortune teller should never be in the rain without and umbrella.
The saying "ignore the haters" only encourages people to dislike negative feedback; thus, constructive criticism. Instead we should ignore the haters but listen to constructive feedback.
Unsportsmanlike really looks like it should be more than one word at a glance
If a guy named Jack sells pot, would it be called jackpot?
A humpback whale with a but fixation has the perfect name
What if everyone you ever meet is a side character and they only exist when in your presence?
that moment you realize that in video games the goal is to make the game as realistic as possible but then in movies involving games filmmakers still make it as obvious as possible that its a video game just thought its funny
When I played games on PS1 I was so excited for cut scenes, now I hate cut scenes interrupting my gameplay.
If warm air rises why is space cold?
Suicide is just DIY death
Using /s to denote sarcasm either means you are really great at sarcasm or really bad at it.
You don't really think twice when someone saves their child's teeth, but if I do it, I'm creepy and probably a serial killer.
Suicide is just DIY death.
The fly on a pair of pants is always covered by a flap sewn to the left side. So that means it’s more than likely that almost all men unzip with their right hand.
In subs that have “unexpected” in the name, the subject of which is suppose to be unexpected is expected.
Our brains should be able to induce amnesia to block out bad, or good, memories, depending on the situation.
For such an incredibly intelligent and seemingly unique species, the knowledge of even the brightest and most insightful among us, despite all advances thus far, is still so insignificant.
Those old Facebook memes of your "pornstar name" being your pet and the street you grew up on were probably an elaborate scam to acquire our security question information.
The child version of a promotion is when you stop getting called a squeaker on voice chat
I've never seen a broken heart
Do the blind dream sound?
If Pinocchio says his nose will grow, its a lie so it will grow. But then he's telling the truth, creating an infinite loop.
The fact that men even get to vote on what a woman can or can’t do to her own body is the most Handmaid’s Tale thing about the US (and other modern governments).
Its entirely possible my disinterest in having children is due to the amount of maury povich i would watch as a kid during the summer when the parents were at work Those dads were so happy they weren't dads!
I care more about seeing my dog in the afterlife than Jesus.
Why does trump always call himself a witch?
Most TIFU stories are about guys getting caught jerking off or hurting themselves trying to jerk off.
The real reason most games aren't full cross platform: "how do I reload?" "just press 'x' "
When you’re holding your poop on the edge of desperation, you can relieve the pain by imagining how many people in the world are suffering in the same situation and those unfortunate who have gone off the edge.
The saying should really be wolf in sheeps costume.
I like /r/perfectfit, but in practice, I don't like dealing with perfect fit situations.
Everything that is legal suddenly becomes illegal when you realize a cop is following you.
Isn't thinking Marilyn Monroe etc attractive a form of necrophilia?
What if we had a game like fornite but instead of the map getting smaller the players become bigger
Public restroom motion detectors for the lights should really be located in the stalls.
Water Boarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds like a pretty good time if you don’t know what either of those two things are.
Spiders Must Be More Terrified of Humans than we are of them...
If you have haters that means there's something to hate... which means there's something.
I'd get bored
Teaching kids to say "uncle" when they want you to stop tickling them is really just teaching them their first safe word.
My OS is shutting down while I shower and still is shutting down while I am out.
I wonder how many times people have said "Nice try, FBI" on the internet with an actual FBI agent on the other end.
Is masturbating being gay?
Maybe running with scissors makes you go faster?
A humpback whale with an anal fetish has the perfect name
Are more tennis balls sold to be used as dog toys than for actually playing tennis?
If grasshoppers were fish theyd be called waterswimmers
How do mute people cope with roadrage when they can't scream back?
It's amazing that many women try to give birth to a child without the aid of drugs, whereas I will use drugs just because I have nothing else to do while waiting to respawn in a video game.
If we had time travel, the most frequent use of it would probably be eating and re-eating our favorite meals as much as we want.
Stefan dying was part of God’s plan to better the internet
People just keep living and dying, huh?
The office isn’t the worst place to have a terrible case of gas, unless you’re a therapist.
‘Talk is cheap’ is only true if you’re not in prison where phone calls can be up to $10+ a minute
Those public restroom rating apps and websites really missed an opportunity to call themselves “Peer Review”.
it profoundly disturbs me that the reanimated corpse of Jerry Brown is the current governor of California.
When my children are adults, they will talk about tinderers like me and my siblings talked about hippies and free love.
A butt dial and a booty call are completely different things.
I would rather have one of feathers thrown at my head than one pound of bricks.
A hump back whale with a butt fetish has the perfect name
Memes are the "America's Funniest Home Videos" for our generation.
Just before a gigantic meteor hits earth and causes the next mass extinction, millions of people will see the most beautiful shooting star of their lives.
The fact that Gamers get a quote from Mass Effect confused with being from Halo is making me curious on what the quote from Halo is.
There is a brief moment each day where fucking my ear with a q-tip feels as good as traditional fucking.
Friedrich is a sweet first name for a rich guy who gets fried.
What if haunted houses that open only for Halloween are just elaborate plans for monsters to harvest our scream to power their cities.
The nice feeling you get when you hold in your poop is basically you getting milked by your poop.
Being grounded as a kid means you were being generally shitty. Being grounded as an adult means you're generally not shitty.
I should focus on "experiencing the moment" rather than "enjoying the moment".
1 x 0 = 0, is it 0 because when you multiply 0 by any number it equals to zero, or because when you multiply any number by 1 it equals the same number?!
Africa should sell limited and expensive hunting licenses that allow you to hunt the most dangerous predator: poachers.
I can not think of a single time where a TV add caused me to purchase that item.
what if the universe is actually being ran through a super ultra godly computer and the speed of light is like the Xbit integer limit that the cpu can handle
Does Prince Harry and Meghan Markle bicker over which is the better version of the Office?
You can tell a lot about a culture from how many words their language has for different aspects of getting drunk.
If Kim Kardashian wants to break the internet she should start wearing clothes
Rich people already have self driving cars. They’re called drivers.
It seems more logical to wash your hands BEFORE using the bathroom, so you don't get anything bad on any parts you touch
The entirety of Home Alone 1 and 2 could have been solved with a simple “may I use a phone?” or a quick visit to a neighbors house
If you hear a sound, you can tell which direction it’s coming from. Can you smell directionally though?
If I told you I just watched something featuring a bear wearing nothing but a shirt, you’d have no idea if I was talking about gay porn or Winnie the Pooh.
How do blind people know if theyre asleep or awake
Your best opportunity to survive as a homeless person in the US to be a veteran.
Do dogs have names for humans?
Both me and Kim Jong Un like cheese
What if we could look at ourselves in the third person?
If you tell people beaches will be flooded by climate change it'll probably be more affective than in depth explanation.
Website that has a infinite scrolling mechanism built in gives me more anxiety than who doesn't.
They should’ve left ‘the hangover’ alone. It was an instant classic.
If we started eating our advent calenders from the highest number we would have a countdown to Christmas
Some people hate Trump, some people hate Hilary, but everyone hates Caillou.
Jessie and James from Team Rocket would succeed in their plans, if they would just keep their previous Pokémon. Weezing and Arbok should at level 100 by know.
If it was normal to wait like 20 seconds before replying to someone, I'd seem a lot funnier and smarter.
If one of the fires in California is called the Holy Fire can we only use Holy Water to put it out.
What if..
The phrase "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Would be a terrible anti-bullying slogan at Hogwarts.
Politicians or people identifying with the left or right “wing” implies they’re birds of the same feather.
As a kid, the Peewee Herman show was insanely awesome to me, as an adult I see how awesomely insane it actually is.
When World War 3 happens, have you ever thought what the internet will look like? Will there only be war news or will there still be awwly kittens and puppies?
Can you even buy Tin Foil Hats?
In the Pokemon games there is a chance to encounter shiny(different color) pokemon different to its normal. What if Pokemon merchandise can also be "shiny" but we just haven't them.
We've all activated Sticky Keys by accident probably hundreds of times in our lives but I bet most of us still don't know what it actually does
What if blackholes are just runtime errors in an otherwise perfectly simulated universe?
Why are Gatorade bottles so thick and heavy?
If chicks were into seeing wiener I would flash it out all the time- somewhat sadly they don’t like it. Aka, ladies, know everyone loves hoo-hoos, so do us all a favor & break them out more please.
Just thinking. Alcohol makes you an alcoholic. So that means fanta makes you fantastic
If you're blind and can't read braille, you're considered illiterate. However, if you can read words, but not braille, you're not considered illiterate.
Why do they have citrus-flavored antacids?
Religious groups should have pray- off’s to determine which is better religion.
If 50% of flavor comes from smelling and you smell a fart, is that half the flavor from eating ass?
I wonder if the Hillards from Mrs. Doubtfire lived on the same street as the Tanners from Full House.
If Owen Wilson needed a wrangler, most people would just assume it should be Ben Stiller without giving any thought as to what would be best for Owen.
What happens if a twin wins sexiest man/woman alive? Do they both win?
We cut down birds’ houses to make birdhouses.
Deer related automobile accidents could be greatly reduced or even eliminated if towns simply placed the Warning Deer Crossing signs together with a Stop Sign.
Math teachers should tell their students that the whole world is ruled by numbers.
Just thinking. If alcohol makes you an alcoholic. does fanta make you fantastic?
We often associate political / economic systems with a death toll. Ex. Communism with hundreds of millions of deaths. At the current rate of climate change, capitalism is poised to far exceed any other system, likely claiming billions of lives plus countless habitats.
With the self check out at grocery stores becoming common place I bet there was a noticeable jump in hemorrhoid creme sales
Fetch is like a dog saying "Silly human, you dropped that ball really far away. Let me get it for you!" And eventually "You can't have it if you keep dropping it!"
Crude oil consists of, among others, dead dinosaurs. Is it vegan-friendly?
Joe Paterno was fired and disgraced because one of his employees molested 10 boys. The Pope had hundreds of his employees molest thousands of boys and no one is calling for him to step down. We hold our college football coaches to higher standards than the leaders of our churches.
If Pinocchio said that his nose would grow in 3 seconds, would it grow, or not?
Girls/Guys who are single should have a "ring size" listed in their "about me" section of their Social Media accounts
The ability to laugh is probably humanity's most underappreciated trait
There is a big difference between Bill Gates and I saying "I will buy you Starbucks".
If we could taste air, going to the bathroom would be eternally terrifying.
what if armpits and pubes smell bad because we clean them with body soap and not shampoo?
Reddit is a perfect example of there's an audience for everything
Women forget everything, except the mean things you've said or did
The best phone ever made gets made every year
I wonder if Big Shaq is hot yet?
The biggest plot twist of all times is Trump being paid by the media to create the biggest and more world wide TV show ever, making him the king of entertainment. Future generations would buy DVDs of current news as episodes of this show.
If there really are parallel universes, and the odds of you being born are about 1 in 400 trillion, chances are this is the only universe you exist in
Can we just appreciate the fact that our brains can just switch from 'dream-mode' to reality (almost) instantly?
If they find mermaids in the water on mars they could be called marmaids.
It’s pretty amusing that the news has stopped referring to Trump’s campaign rallies, instead just calling them rallies. Bring to mind any other kind of rally?
Fairies, like Tinkerbell, must be the worst flyers in the world, because they require both wings and fairy dust to be able to fly.
If there’s a Question Mark, why isn’t there an Answer Mark?
Showers are just domesticated waterfalls.