r/gatekeeping should become a curated subreddit that way the mods can gatekeep posts about gatekeeping
We don’t like to do much reading for a site that’s called reddit
If dentists make money off people with bad teeth.. why am I buying toothpaste that 4/5 dentists are recommending?
Climate change is just a big version of lazy students procrastinating for their group assignment. We won't do much until it all starts burning, and by then it might be too late
I wonder if Mark Zuckerberg refers to his dick as the “Zuckini”
Everyone says to be yourself, but what if your true self drives away everyone away?
What if gay
Used to be the future was depicted with either a black president or a dystopian dictator president but neither of those things are very futuristic anymore
People like reddit for its anonymity, but a lot of us expose ourselves in many different ways, in many different subreddits.
If Bald is Beautiful, why do they turn the donated hair into wigs?
Do people who pay to sleep with pornstars watch their videos as I would watch a phone review on youtube before buying it?
Is there a show that’s completely improvised? Like they could cast an A-list celebrity to star in a hospital drama, but then an extra from set just jumps in, kills the main character and makes it a sitcom about ninjas living outer space cause that would be rad
Does Bigfoot have a human penis, or one of those red rockets?
Isn’t it interesting how capitalizing one letter changes the pronunciation and whole meaning of a word - polish vs Polish 🤔
It's ironic that Reddit, one of the many sites that keeps society "glued to their phones," is also the very site that keeps us connected to the world around us most.
"Guardians of the Galaxy" is a pretty ironic name, given they're all basically space pirates in a similar vein to Outlaw Star and Cowboy Bebop
I just realised that even in life or death, awake or asleep, our eyes are always staring at something.
If you request advice for committing suicide, adding "asking for a friend" only makes it look worse.
Reddit is fast becoming the new "I Can Has Cheezburger?" upload site.
In the RPG of my life, I'm an NPC handing out side quests.
The best tempature is when you don't notice the tempature.
Isn't the whole car a windshield?
Since Female Cats Mate With Several Males During Breeding Season (Up To Fifteen), That Means no cat knows who thier father is
Isn’t owning a pet just glorified Stockholm Syndrome
The larger your butt is, the longer it takes you to realize whether you should have trusted a fart.
“I’d be up for that” and “I’d be down for that” is the same thing
We call them Operating Theaters because surgery is "performed" in them.
“Stranger Things” is to me what “The Wonder Years” was to my parents.
Father figures will always be something to inspire you. Even if that means what you do not want to become.
Why does NASCAR always show intense crashes in their ads? Like you don’t see the NFL showing clips of dudes getting their legs snapped in half to advertise football.
Do people who pay to sleep with pornstars watch their videos as someone who wants to buy a phone would watch it's review ?
While I'm in here, I should stop trying so hard to think of something that will earn me internet points and just enjoy the hot water.
I'm gonna take a shower wish me luck
In our head, LOL is pronounced "Lawl", but FTFY isn't pronounced "FootFee"
If aliens are intelligent enough to find us and visit, then they are most certainly capable of remaining hidden and undetected. Who’s to say they haven’t been here for awhile now? Who’s to say we aren’t aliens?
Maybe Mary and Little Bo Peep are the same person
Do pornstars ever get off to porn?
If an apocalypse ever happens planting a bunch of corn should be the first move.
Since you get one upvote for each new post, you could technically give yourself free karma by posting a massive amount of times.
I think I've seen enough episodes of Mayday (also called Air Crash Investigation, Air Emergency and Air Disasters) that I bet if I needed to, I could land a jumbo jet on my own.
Many things are illegal not because they’re inherently bad. Instead, they’re so good that humans can’t stop. Then it becomes bad for you.
Why do we call it a “walk-in shower”, how else do you get into a shower?
Does lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?
Why is it called “insane” when you’re actually out of sanity?
What if we're just sims?
I'd love to be named Bury and just tell people my name and not spell it out, thus maniacally causing confusion
Since Reddit gives you one automatic upvote for each new post, you could technically give yourself free karma by making a thousand posts.
Objects reflect the light of the colors they do not possess and absorb the colors they do, making the object seem that color. So the reality of the world is inverted colors. This means that something white is really black and something black is really white?!
"Here's my Soundcloud" is the new "here's my mixtape" for terrible amateur rappers.
The Old Navy marketing team really went out on a limb with that name considering their target demographic is young people.
Would an engrish speaking person pronounce "Melissa" as "Marissa"?
We don't notice it when we blink until this one asshole in a subreddit mentions that fact and now you can't stop blinking manually.
How are blind people supposed to know where the Braille is on the sign?
If this country is so bad that we can’t stand for the flag, then why do we need boarder protection?
Where does your lap go when you stand up?
The act of imitating whale cries should be called ‘whailing’
Why are we not seeing the world in slow motion?
Reddit karma is just like getting stickers in grade school; not worth anything but it makes you feel good.
Sand could be called sand because it’s between sea and land
Faithful Amish people have no idea that Weird Al Yankovic wrote a hit song about them.
Predators on Reddit should be called predditors.
double standards
The next generation won't have Phineas and Ferb to tell them what the plastic tip of the shoe lace is called.
Who put the keyboard in keyboard order?
If feminist want equality then it should be acceptable for a man to refuse to date an overweight woman, the same way women refuse to date short guys
Dustin Diamond (Saved by the Bell) should do a porno called "Sex on the Screech"
Isn’t it interesting that capitalizing one letter can change the pronunciation and whole meaning of a word - Polish vs polish.
If I lose $100 on the stock market it's a 'no big deal' feeling. But if I were to lose my wallet filled with $100 i'd be pretty upset.
Looking back on my college years in the late 90s, I'm so grateful that we didn't have cell phones that could take pics, or more importantly, videos...
Shouldn't we start calling it 'The Big Barrier Reef' until it's doing great again?
I am going on vacation don’t tell the thieves
I'm ready for "The Next Game of Thrones", so that every halfway-decent show can be hailed as the next-that rather than the next Game of Thrones.
My grandma taught me that slurping noisily through a straw was bad manners. So every time I do it, I think of her. <3
All Trump wants is media attention and stardom, yet he fails to realize his resignation would be the most viewed TV event in history
In fact, magnet means magical-network
Someone needs to make a strain of weed and name it Calgon.
If God knows everything, how would He be able to watch movies without spoiling it for himself?
When you see older people together with their friends, it's almost always all-women or all-men; when you see younger people hanging out with their friends, it's usually mixed. I wonder what happens along the way.
The first woman that gave birth to twins probably was very confused.
Is a penis called a penis because pee comes out of it or is pee called pee because it comes from a penis?
Right now, you are the youngest you will ever be again
Bar soap is like an eraser, it gets smaller as it cleans, but you're going to replace it before it's 100% done
I wonder if the person who came up with the original Transformers sound really liked sellotape
Nostradamus never warned us about Trump.
As a society we’ve agreed putting down a pet when they’re old or in pain is fine, but why haven’t we agreed to that for humans who can make the conscious choice?
What if Queens lyric, "Mama, just killed a man" is actually "Mama just killed a man"?
Whoever the Democrat nominee is for the next presidential election, they should use the slogan, “Hindsight is 2020”.
Couldn't Vampires just wear a burqa during the day?
When my Apple Watch tells me to make it happen today, is it telling me to do a good job at work, or to finally throat punch my boss? The lines are blurred more and more each day.
Zombies are brain dead, yet shooting them in the heart doesn't do anything but shooting them in the head kills them
If infinite monkeys were to type random letters forever eventually they would write a text about infinite monkeys typing random letters forever.
If dentists make money off bad teeth, why buy toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Were Adam and Eve married?
Someone is the worst person in the whole world and they don’t even know it.
I wonder if anyone has ever been so tired/high that they shit their pants while on the toilet.
"Badass" and "Goodass" really mean the same thing despite sounding like opposites.
Romeo and Juliet is what happens when r/im14andthisisdeep meets r/yesyesyesno
You know you’ve Malcom Gladwell’d showering when you realize half way through using the soap that you’ve already used it.
Why is it that one daytime is only half of one day in terms of time?
You’re a burglar but instead of stealing things you do things to mildly inconvenience your victims, what is your crime?
Objects reflect the light of the color they do not possess and absorb the colors they do, making the object seem that color. So the reality of the world beyond our perception is inverted colors. This means that white people are really black, and black people are really white?!
Getting into a car with a stranger because they offered me free drugs is the adult equivalent of getting into the car because they offered me free candy.
101 Dalmatians is alot darker if you think of it as parents saving their children's lives from being skinned.
"Probably" and "It's probable" sound like they're different degrees of certainty, but I'm not sure which is more or less certain
Is my definition of the meaning of life the same to my dog's, since we both live together in my apartment?
What if alien spacecrafts looks just like normal human plains, and we see them in the sky regularly thinking it is just a normal plain?
If twins where being born and one was born at 11:59pm and the other at 12:00am they would not be twins
If fish like worms, but also birds like worms, than is this why flying fish were invented?
What if there is a Nigerian prince who has been waiting for years for someone to help him but everybody assumed its a scam so he never got help
Shouldn’t it be “heels over head”?
If Jenny is short for Jennifer is Penny short for Pennifer?
If world comes to an end will adam and eve be there again?
The #1 thing that I’ve learned from skin product commercials is that the best way to have younger looking skin is to be a young model.
Man my conditioner is almost out, better make this last 2 more weeks.
If anything is possible, is it possible for something to be impossible?
Can blind people drink rubbing alcohol to get drunk since they’re already blind?
If for women, it's a cock carousel, for men would it be a roastbeef roundabout?
The comment section of Reddit turns into a wonderful place whenever a dog or cat is involved in a post.
Wouldn't be cool if Spotify had a comment section on singles and albums?
You know that moment when a random person you dont know asks you if you know them? What if thats a celebrity testing their public disguise?
So I guess the Pentagon is gonna have to be remodeled into the Hexagon.
The kiki do you love me song has proven to be deadly.
Men's public restrooms have urinals but virtually no private restrooms do. However, if a man uses a toilet stall in a public restroom to pee while a urinal is available, I immediately don't trust that guy.
I'm only able to think this thought because millions of smaller living things decided to come together to create a larger living thing that can then question amnd ponder the smaller life forms that create it.
It's possible to have a sex encounter that is both legal and illegal, if you started when the girl is minutes from her 18th birthday and finish when she is already 18.
Thr most racist game played by millions, where white is always first. I love to play chess sometimes.
What if Phineas and Ferb's inventions actually disappear right before Milo Murphy shows up,not their mother?
I feel so good for telling people to keep the change, even only if it's a couple of cents
If you buy a bigger bed, you get more bed-room, but less bedroom
I'm glad that Fortnite took the title of "game for annoying 12 year olds" from Minecraft so now people won't judge me when I say I still play Minecraft
How could a brony hate the friendzone, if friendship is magic?
What language do people think in it they have equal skills in two different languages?
I wonder what karma pays?
I'm not a Playa, I throw up alot
"Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme" would not taste good together. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
The first person to ever say “I FUCKED YOUR MOM” actually did fuck that person’s mom
It’s weird that we’ll be saying ‘back in the 10’s technology was a lot less complicated’ or something along those lines.
People born in 1999 have the best shot at being the last individuals from the second millennium in about 100 years
We're nearly halfway between when 'I, robot' was released (2004) and when it takes place (2035).
The whole "Nazis escaped to the Moon/Antarctica" thing, while a dumb conspiracy theory, should probably have been a reminder that Nazism would never really be far enough away to be complacent about it returning.
A downward-moving escalator should be called a de-escalator.
When I see kids dabbing the only thing I can think of is ZOLTAN!
Making love to someone is the instinctual equivalent of telling them there should be more people like them.
The most effective way of describing fascism without referencing the Nazis is that they are very creative at finding ways of scaring the hell out of people.
With how often Trump supporters compare Trump's actions to Obama's actions, they must have REALLY loved Obama.
If I needed someone to back me in a fight, I’d choose Grandpa Munster (from THE MUNSTERS). Dude’s a vampire AND one of the main characters on a sitcom -nothing’s beating him.
On Venus solid tin would acctually be called frozen.
We have so many advancements in technology, but still can't make it so that the shower doesn't get cold when someone else uses the water.
If you bike on a bicycle and skate on a skateboard, why don't you scoot on a scooter?
Dogs must get a legitimate sense of pride and accomplishment for barking at mail deliverers or people passing by
Here I I am trying desperately to keep my karma above 400 after 4 years of being here among you....
I wonder how many repressed memories I have...
Donald Trump's probably thinks he is the most popular person on Reddit with "the most upvotes of anyone," when in reality people are upvoting for visibility.
I’d rather have a drinking problem than a sober problem.
You know youre old when people your age start to have kids on purpose
Can a Homeless man be Sentenced to House Arrest?
So being bisexual should give you a higher chance of having sex but what happens is the opposite
As a non-native speaker, I won't have the liberty to say the word terrific without checking if it's not the same as terrible.
Buildings dont make earth any heavier cause all the materials were already on it
I'm 40 years old. All of the dances that I know have been learned from videogame emotes.
As a kid, I thought my adult life would involve more pianos hanging perilously above me as I walked down every sidewalk.
Global warming is planet Earth’s equivalent of developing a fever to help fight its infection with humans being the foreign bodies.
People born in 1999 have the best shot at being the last person from the second millennia
I wonder if breaking bad helped sell drugs or hurt the business
Mosquitoes have legs but I’ve never seen one walking
"Does this make my butt look big?" has gone from having a negative connotation to a positive one.
It makes me sad that we now live in a world where the contestants from those Worst Driver reality shows are better drivers than Michael Schumacher
I'll never understand christians who go on missionary trips to countries that are majority christian.
For cats and dogs, any amount of chocolate is a lifetime supply.
There should be a special place in hell reserved for people who spit their gum out on a sidewalk.
I wonder if Catholic priests who rape children still think they can go to heaven
If you say “I’m a New Mexican” you can mean you have gotten a Mexican citizenship recently or you come from New Mexico in the US
My lips say "horoscopes" but my brain says "horrorscopes"
U ever realised that all these buildings we build on earth don’t make the planet any heavier coz we be using the same materials from the earth 🌏
UFO stands for “Unidentified Flying Object,” and we always associate the acronym to a flying saucer. But if a flying saucer is a “UFO,” wouldn’t that make it an Identified Flying Object?
Does having a poo feel different for gay men?
how do Chinese people eat yogurt with chopsticks?
Comedy must be difficult to film because all of the best takes would be ruined by laughter
Buying games aren't what it used to be these days. I used to look forward to reading the manual.
I hope that when i die, I have stats waiting for me of like how many times I’ve master baited and how i tank compared to every other guy who has ever lived
If you close the drain during a shower and let the water fill up, it is a Shath. Shower bath.
One man's biggest turn on is another man's grossest thing I've ever seen in my life.
The Last Jedi apologists wouldnt surprise me if they liked the new simpsons as well
Probably sometimes 2 people are having the same shower thought
After a goal in soccer, the entire team runs around and celebrates like maniacs. After a touchdown in the NFL players are expected to hand the ball to the referee and quietly walk to the sidelines. Why is this?
If airports were towns, they should be called Delayedonia
Reddit is to e-sport clips what Worldstar is to street fights
All my teachers in school tell me not to use the Wiki but then they give me a falling apart textbook made 10 years ago
The option “see less like this” on Snapchat actually means “see only things like this”
Perception of time is faster the older you get because the proportion of 1 year to years alive gets smaller every second
Beaches will be hard to come by if global warming causes the sea levels to rise 4-6 feet.
If Pinocchio said my nose will grow now it would be the same paradox as this statement is false
It’s a terrible feeling when the “What am I suppose to do with my arms?” thought enters your head while walking.
The lgbt community is always adding new letters. In the future it will just be the whole alphabet
Sometimes in your sleep you get reminded of something embarasing from your past i wonder if buzz aldrin thinks "wow i was in the moon" when he tries to sleep
If Reddit had a feature that allowed users to post pictures in the comments, well, Idk. It’d be interesting.
You can't say "I love you too" to somebody without admitting your love for U2.
Are Vaping Tricks just New Age Smoke Signals?
Amazon's Alexa is better at recognizing my voice than Google's Okay Google.
I’ve never felt more left out, and more happy to be left out, than I do by not playing fortnight.
You probably make more daily eye contact with your phone screen then with your significant other.
The word 'night' can usually be used in place of the word 'evening' but saying good night instead of good evening sounds weird
There are roughly 15,000 people born an hour worldwide, that equates to 360,000 parties a day worldwide. Maybe I should start making cake for living 🤔
Name a random 15 digit number. You are probably the first person in the past, present and future of the universe, to say that number at this exact time (ex. 15:24).
You type in a word and you get its meaning but there's no place to type in a meaning about something and get a word for it.
Does buzz aldrin ever think about the moon when trying to sleep just like when i get think of that awkward moment from years ago
What if the new Whinnie the Pooh movie had the same characters and texture, but instead of being nice and good. They went in a murder spree.
Is Macaroni and Cheese called “mac” because it’s short for Macaroni, or because it’s the acronym for macaroni and cheese
If you worked with a psychic you wouldn’t ever be able to call in sick if you weren’t actually sick
I would believe the Earth is flat before a hot dog is a sandwich.
Copypasta is just a welcome/good repost
I wonder why I always flagged by TSA and end up receiving a 'pat-down' when I have nothing on me. Hmm...
If female dogs are bitches, what are male dogs?
If you put a lasagna on a lasagna. It's just one piece of lasagna.
Windows 7 support ends in a mere 16 months, and so in hindsight I’m grateful I migrated to Windows 10 - even considering Microsoft’s dubious approach.
Religion
You probably make more daily eye contact with your phone screen than with your significant other.
If We Get Hard Wood During Sleep, Do We Have A Sleep Fetish?
The more I learn about the world around me, the more I realize how ignorant I am about it.
Redditors who post about negative things that has happened to them gets back the karma here on reddit
What if a ladies water breaks outside, it evaporates and turned into a cloud, and could rain onto people, repeating the cycle.
What if Oxygen is a drug and that we're living in a hallucination?
Netflix's "Are you still watching?" screen should just say: "Do you still know where your remote is? Go find it, now!"
Marijuana doesn't hurt anybody, its the ridiculous legal sentences that hurt people.
What happened to Pub 1 - 98?
Redditors who posts about negstive things that has happened to them gets back their karma here on reddit
Kevin Spacey got fired from House of Cards where he played the president, while the actual President is being way worse and still has his job...
Is my dog licking my scratches and wounds because he loves me??
if a 9 y/o uses anti-aging cream that makes you 10 years younger, would they disappear?
People who say "I know my rights" tend to be mistaken.
Taking street photography I tend to take photos of strangers and the majority of them don’t notice. How many photos have you in the them that you have no idea about?
With the emergence of Blockchain technology, I can visibly see the political party, Decentralist arise!
If a cannibal were to break into your house whilst you were having a bath you are effectively preparing yourself for him
Strippers should make a lot more in tips if their customers accounted for inflation throughout the years
If life and liberty are "unalienable rights", then it should be a right to have job too.
If humans did have to breath they would care alot less about air pollution.
Doesn’t it seem a bit too coincidental that Jesus happened to be born exactly on Christmas?
Do female dogs realize they are pregnant, or do they just wake up one day very surprised?
Everytime a person tells a kid to share, they're basically pushing their kids to be communist.
Im thinking of a showerthought as I scroll but nothing's coming to me.
Your first birthday is the day you were born. I'm turning 26 this year, but it will be my 27th birthday.
Elon Musk launched his Tesla into outer space with a dummy in the driver's seat. The dummy was probably a body he had been trying to dispose of.
"They did f*** all" and "They didn't do f*** all" both mean the same thing
I feel bad for kids that grow up and see someone on Maury jumping for joy at the fact that he's not their father.
A shipping fanfic about God and Jesus would be describing masturbation, not incest
I wonder what Spongebob would’ve been like if they’d kept it as an adult show.
If rainbows are symbolic of diversity today, then black and white in the past fittingly represents that people in the past accepted only two genders.
A significant enough advancement in our knowledge of the brain could topple everything we know about the nature of reality.
Now that I’m older cracking knuckles for intermediation is not as valuable of a skill as I thought it would be.
It’s weird that if a person is acting “bitter”, it means basically the same as when s/he is acting “salty”.